Breaking Free from Body Image Pressures

Introduction

Body image is how we see, think, and feel about our own physical appearance.

It includes three key parts:

• how we perceive our body (like whether we see ourselves as too big, too small, average, etc.)
• how we feel about it (e.g. feeling confident, dissatisfied, self-conscious, etc.)
• how these thoughts and feelings affect what we do (like avoiding mirrors, obsessively checking our reflection, or always focussed on our looks)

While our body image changes over time, it is influenced by our upbringing, social pressures, and culture. A positive body image means accepting and appreciating our body, no matter what or how it appears to ourselves or to others.

Perceptions of negative body image

Everyone has concerns about their appearance. But some people begin to have overwhelming or even disruptive thoughts and feelings about their body. When feelings about one’s body or appearance leads to emotional distress, low self-esteem, or harmful behaviours, they result in body image disturbance.

In childhood, body image concerns could start as early as elementary school / kindergarten. Here, children start becoming self-conscious about being "too big" or "too small" compared to other children of their age. Some kids could withdraw from activities (like swimming, sports, etc.) which they otherwise would enjoy.

Teens may obsess over weight, skin, or specific body parts. This can lead to extreme behaviours like dieting, compulsive exercise, or social isolation, and in severe cases, even eating disorders.

Even in adulthood, body image problems could persist. Some may feel the pressure to "look young" always. Especially in women, life transitions such as pregnancy, postpartum, or aging can make them feel inadequate or be frustrated with their bodies. Middle-aged men tend to focus on being muscular, or conscious about hair loss.

In old age, weight gain, wrinkles, or reduced mobility, often leads to a sense of loss of identity or self-worth.

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Why do we have body image issues?

1. Society and Culture

• Movies, social media, ads, etc. usually showcase "perfect" visuals like slim women or muscular men – which are unrealistic. This creates pressure on viewers to look a certain way.
• We often compare ourselves to celebrities or influencers – who we perceive as having better physical attributes – which can make us feel we don’t measure up to them.
• Trends like “glow ups” or body transformation videos can make us feel inadequate if we don’t match those standards
• Different cultures have different beauty ideals. This can feel confusing or lead to insecurity, especially if you interact or have visibility of people in different cultures.

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2. Family and Friends

• When elders talk about weight, dieting, or appearance (their own or their child’s), kids can become overly conscious of their looks.
• When friends or peers tease you, or if you are trying to “fit in” during school can lead to insecurities about how you look.
• If you see your family members or friends constantly worrying about their own appearance, it may influence you to do the same.

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3. Own thoughts and feelings

• If you don’t feel good about yourself overall, you tend to focus on what you think is “wrong” with your body.
• When one wants their body to look “perfect”, one can never feel satisfied, no matter what.
• Anxiety, depression, or difficult life experiences (bullying, trauma, grief, etc.) can make you have negative feelings about your body.

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4. Physical Changes

• During puberty there are changes like weight gain, acne, or increase in height. This can make teens feel awkward.
• For some, changes in body shape and weight during / after pregnancy can be overwhelming, especially if there is pressure from family members to “look the same as earlier.”
• Wrinkles or physical limitations due to old age can lead to frustration, especially when the world around has an abundance of young people with energy and enthusiasm.

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5. Personal circumstances

• Non-binary or transgender people may be in a state of general unease of unease or generalised dissatisfaction with life due to their bodies.
• Society prioritises certain physical traits (like fair skin, taller people, or straight hair), making those who lack these traits feel left out.
• People with visible scars, physical disabilities, or medical conditions may feel like they don’t fit into groups of people who don’t have those.
• Due to financial constraints, there could be limited access to clothes, fitness resources, or personal care products, and that could get accentuate body image issues.

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How to have a positive body image

Two concepts - Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT) - are very effective psychological approaches for addressing body image concerns. ?

1. Challenge Negative Thoughts

Negative thoughts about your body lead to dissatisfaction. CBT helps to identify, question, and replace these thoughts with healthier ones.

• Notice when you begin to think things like, “I look horrible” or “I’ll not look good enough in these.” These are automatic thoughts and irrational.
• Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” or “Why am I being so harsh on myself?”
• Replace this with a more rational thought. E.g., instead of “I hate this aspect of my body,” say, “it's not perfect but it helps me with so much, so I appreciate it.”

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2. Focus on What You Value ?

ACT encourages you to stop fighting with negative thoughts and instead focus on living a meaningful life.

• Acknowledge negative feelings without letting them control you. For example, say, “I feel insecure today, and it’s okay to feel this way. But this does not define me.”
• Focus on what’s most important to you - relationships, hobbies, helping others. Ask yourself, “What can I do today that aligns with my values, irrespective of how I feel about my body?”
• Stay in the present moment and notice thoughts without judgment. This helps reduce the intensity of body image issues.

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3. Gradually Change Behaviours

People with body image issues tend to either avoid situations where they feel they are being “judged” or focus too much on “fixing” their looks. A better way to improve self-confidence is by making small behavioural changes:

• If you are avoiding activities like swimming or taking photos, start by going to a quieter pool with fewer people, or taking candid selfies by yourself. This begins to build comfort and confidence over time.
• If you have a habit of checking mirrors or weighing yourself, reduce the number of times you do it. Start setting targets or specific times (e.g., once a day or week) for this.
• Take on challenges which are not related to appearances - like learning a skill, volunteering, or spending time with people who are more interested in you than how you look.

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4. Work Toward Self-Acceptance

Understand that nobody’s body is “perfect.” Even people you admire are insecure with something or the other.

• Thank your body always for what it allows you to do - like connecting with loved ones, or for creating memories.
• Surround yourself with people and groups that do not focus on appearances. Seek professional help by speaking to a counsellor.

Together, CBT and ACT provide practical tools for building a positive body image. CBT challenges and helps to change negative thought patterns, and ACT helps accept feelings and focus on living a meaningful life.?

Conclusion

We all think about our body image at all stages of life. But it doesn’t have to control how we live. We can lead healthy and satisfied lives when we love ourselves the way we are, and challenge unrealistic expectations. By doing so, we can avoid the pressures of “looking perfect” and instead, just “being ourselves”.

Our worth is not tied to how we look - it’s about who we are and how we live our lives.