Breaking the Chains: Understanding and Supporting Victims of Domestic Violence

There was a time when I used to take domestic violence issues lightly. I didn't fully grasp the reasons why victims found it so difficult to leave their abusive relationships. I was one of those bystanders who couldn't understand the complexity of their situation and would often question why they didn't just walk away. But all that changed when I started working at Zen. It was here that I learned firsthand about the obstacles and traumas that these victims face, and my perspective about this issue changed dramatically.

From my experiences talking to victims while working at Zen I learned that when victims of domestic violence find themselves trapped in these relationships, it's not as simple as just packing their bags and leaving. There are so many complex factors that make it incredibly challenging for them to move on and rebuild their lives. It's important to understand these obstacles if we truly want to support them.

One of the major obstacles victims of domestic violence often talk about is the concern for their children's or pet's safety. They prioritise the well-being of their loved ones above their own, sometimes even sacrificing their own happiness and safety. The fear of retaliation or harm directed towards their children or pets prevents them from leaving the abusive partner. The abuser could also have made threats of taking away custody of their loved one, leaving the victims feeling helpless and trapped.

Emotional trauma is another significant challenge that survivors endure. They often experience intense fear, anxiety, and low self-esteem. The emotional scars left behind make it difficult for them to trust others and make sound decisions. Rebuilding their lives and moving on becomes an uphill battle due to the lingering effects of the abuse.

Financial dependency is yet another obstacle that keeps victims trapped in abusive relationships. One victim told me that due to her lack of English skill and she can’t find work so she had to rely on her abusers for financial support, making it incredibly difficult for her to secure housing, employment, or access essential resources if she wanted to leave. Breaking free from this dependence is crucial, but it can be overwhelming without proper support and resources.

Navigating the legal system also presents its own set of challenges for victims. Seeking protection orders, custody battles, or divorce proceedings often requires legal representation and guidance, which can be incredibly difficult to obtain. One victim told me that she had to rely on her abuser for her visa so she was scared to talk because she was afraid it might impact her visa. The complex nature of the legal process adds another layer of difficulty to their journey towards freedom and safety.

Moreover, victims often lack the necessary skills, education, or resources to support themselves and their loved one independently. This limitation restricts their employment opportunities and financial stability, making it even harder for them to escape their abusive situations.

Social isolation and stigmatisation are prevalent issues faced by survivors of domestic violence. They often feel ashamed or judged, which makes it incredibly difficult for them to seek help or build supportive networks. The feeling of being alone in their struggles adds to their sense of helplessness.

Understanding all of these challenges is crucial because the effects of domestic violence can persist long after the abuse has ended. That is why victims need all the support they can get to help them gain strength and determination. We must provide them with the necessary resources, empathy, and encouragement to rebuild their lives and heal from the trauma they have endured. It is only through collective efforts that we can create a safe and supportive environment for survivors of domestic violence to thrive once again.

That's why I, as a member of the Zen Tea Lounge Foundation, am passionate about assisting every victim in their journey towards the next chapter of their lives through our Empowering Resilience program. This program, designed to empower survivors, takes a holistic approach that I witness has helped survivors. By offering various training workshops, connecting survivors with essential resources, providing legal and counselling referrals service, and organising social activities, survivors are equipped with the tools and support they need to rebuild their lives.

So If you are someone like me who is concerned about a loved one trapped in an abusive relationship and want to support them in regaining control of their life? Consider introducing them to Zen's Empowering Resilience program here at www.zentealoungefoundation.org.au/empowering-you to help them gain valuable resources that can help you take the next step.

Additionally, if you share Zen mission and want to make a difference, you can contribute to Zen’s cause. Your donation will help Zen empower more victims and provide them with the tools and support they need for a better life. Support Zen by donating today at www.zentealoungefoundation.org.au/donate. Together, we can create a community where resilience triumphs over adversity.

This article is written by Vichhai Chhim, a volunteer at Zen Tea Lounge Foundation.