Breaking the Chains of Toxic Positivity

Toxic positivity is a phenomenon that has been gaining popularity on social media in recent years, and it is causing more harm than good. The idea behind toxic positivity is that people should always maintain a positive attitude, even in the most challenging circumstances. It responds to the widespread belief that positivity and optimism can improve mental health and help individuals cope with difficult situations. But the reality is that toxic positivity not only invalidates an individual's emotional state but also increases secondary emotions.

When I went through a terrible break-up, a good friend of mine had a unique way of handling my situation. Instead of telling me to "get over it" or to "just move on," he permitted me to grieve. He told me he would give me one day to cry, and rue and all do this shit, but that we go back to work the following day. While his words might sound harsh, they were comforting. He wasn't trying to dismiss my pain or invalidate my emotions. He was permitting me to feel what I needed to feel.

He acknowledged my pain and allowed me the space to feel it made all the difference. I was not pressured to "get over it" or pretend everything was okay. I could process my emotions healthily and move forward at my own pace.

Think about it. Have you ever had a bad day, and someone came up to you and said, "Cheer up! Everything will be okay!"? It might sound like a kind and well-intentioned gesture, but it can do more harm than good. By suppressing your true feelings and pretending to be okay, you are not addressing the root of the problem. It's like putting a band-aid on a wound that requires stitches. Toxic positivity creates an unrealistic expectation that individuals should always be happy and upbeat, regardless of what they are going through. This is a dangerous mindset because it can lead to people suppressing their emotions, which can cause more significant problems in the long run.

Suppressing emotions is not the solution; it's a problem. Suppressing emotions can lead to isolation, guilt, or shame, as individuals may not feel comfortable opening up to others about their true feelings. Toxic positivity can lead to the development of secondary emotions, which are emotions triggered by another emotion. If an individual feels sad, they may also feel guilty for feeling sad or ashamed for being unable to control their emotions. This can create a cascade of negative emotions, making it even more challenging to cope with difficult situations.

The truth is that nobody is happy all the time. We all have ups and downs, and that's normal. Toxic positivity, however, can make individuals feel like they are failing because they cannot achieve a constant positive state of mind. It can create a sense of guilt or shame, as individuals feel like they are not good enough and cannot live up to society's expectations. It is important to remember that it is okay not to feel okay. It is normal to experience a range of emotions, including frustration, especially during difficult times.

It's important to acknowledge that an abnormal emotional response to an abnormal situation is normal. When individuals experience a traumatic or stressful event, they naturally feel fear, sadness, anger, or confusion. These emotions are a part of the human experience and natural responses to challenging situations. Suppressing these emotions can lead to more significant problems in the long run.

Accepting negative emotions and acknowledging that it is okay not to feel okay can be helpful for an individual's mental and emotional health. Taking negative emotions allows individuals to process their feelings and move forward healthily.

Ignoring negative emotions, on the other hand, can cause individuals to feel like their emotions are out of control and can lead to a sense of helplessness.

Toxic positivity is not always intentional. Some believe they are helping others by encouraging them to be positive. But it is essential to understand that promoting positivity at all costs is not helpful for an individual's mental and emotional well-being. Creating a safe space for individuals to express their emotions and feel heard and understood is essential.

We all have ups and downs, and that's normal. We cannot simply pick the emotions we want to have. It just does not work that way. We need to accept our negative emotions and learn to process them healthily.

It is crucial, especially in this era where the whole world is experiencing a mental health crisis, to create a culture of openness and understanding where individuals can express their emotions without fear of judgment or invalidation. This can only be achieved by creating safe spaces for individuals to express their feelings and by encouraging empathy and active listening. Instead of promoting toxic positivity, we should promote emotional intelligence and healthy coping mechanisms.

Toxic positivity can harm an individual's mental and emotional health, and it is essential to acknowledge and address this phenomenon. I could not stress enough that it is okay not to be okay, and we must process our negative emotions healthily to move forward in life.