Breaking Barriers: My Journey to Overcoming Self-Limiting Beliefs (Part 1)
How I Shattered My Self-Limiting Beliefs
What was a "helicopter" called in Mandarin? My kindergarten teacher's question hung in the air, a challenge none of us had anticipated. We hadn't been assigned this vocabulary – it was a random test. Panic started to set in as classmates furrowed their brows. But then, I remembered a flashcard hanging near the classroom wall, depicting a red helicopter that soared through the sky.? With a surge of confidence, I pointed at the card and blurted out, "老师 (lǎoshī, teacher), 我知道 (wǒ zhīdào, I know)! 直升机 (zhí shēng jī)!"
The teacher's face lit up. "Excellent observation skills, Kelvin!" she exclaimed, praising me for using my environment to find the answer. It was a small moment, but it sparked a memory - the first time I recall being called "smart." I clung to that praise, sharing it proudly with my family for weeks.
Fast forward to primary school, where grades became a thing. The ranking system mercilessly labelled me a "low performing student.”
The Pressure to Be Smart:
Who were the top performers in my young mind?
Seeing myself perpetually at the bottom fueled self-doubt that gnawed at my desire to shine. I didn't dream of changing the world, but I yearned to be capable, to help others, to speak confidently in front of the class, maybe even become class leader and proudly tell my parents.
But compared to those "smart" students, the ones everyone admired and teachers adored, my heart sank. I surrendered my class leader dreams.
An Unexpected Opportunity that Didn't Last Long
In fourth grade English class, I encountered an unexpected opportunity amidst the fear instilled by our notoriously strict teacher. While others shied away from volunteering as group leader, I seized the chance, eager to prove myself. Tasked with ensuring timely submission of every student's homework, I eagerly accepted the responsibility. The praise from my teacher, who publicly commended my initiative, fueled my excitement, and I couldn't wait to share the news with my parents.
However, my triumph was short-lived. After two weeks of poor spelling test results, I was replaced by the "smart student" who aced them. This demotion from group B to C, accompanied by a reduction in spelling test questions, left me feeling disheartened. It seemed the message was clear: if I couldn't excel, I should refrain from participating altogether.
This experience was just one of many that contributed to my self-limiting beliefs. I'm sure some of you reading this can relate to similar or even more challenging experiences. But despite setbacks, I believe in your potential for progress. Even if your grades aren't stellar or time is scarce, perseverance can lead to success, just as it did for me.
Moving forward, I'll delve into six specific milestones that paved the path to my success story, offering insights on how you can implement them in your own journey.
Turning Point 1: Decision to Study Hard
During form 3, conversations buzzed about the daunting nature of PT3, Malaysia's Form Three Assessment. It dawned on me then that I needed to act; otherwise, failure loomed. I confided in my mother, expressing my desire to enroll in tuition classes to bolster my performance.
At the time, I barely scraped through some subjects but faltered in others, particularly Mathematics, History (Sejarah), and Malay. These subjects carried weight as they directly influenced my prospects of obtaining the Final Public Examination Certificate (SPM) and meeting minimum requirements for further studies, such as high school programs.
Setting ambitious goals seemed out of reach; instead, I aimed for what I deemed "achievable." Despite managing to secure some B grades and passing all subjects, a sense of disappointment lingered on result day. It dawned on me that the goals I had set weren't aligned with my true aspirations.
Witnessing my parents' sacrifices for tuition and their nightly efforts to pick me up weighed heavily on me. I couldn't bring myself to tell them, "I've achieved A grades; your efforts were worthwhile." We all know the significance of A grades to Asian parents.
Walking home that day, a shroud of dejection settled over me.? The thought of facing questions about my results filled me with dread.? As I neared my house, a neighbour approached, inquiring if it was PT3 results day. ? My heart pounded, hoping he wouldn't pry further.? He did.? With a heavy sigh, I offered a vague response, "All passed."? He patted my shoulder reassuringly, muttering "Okay lah, pass then okay," and continued on his way.
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While this brief exchange wasn't ideal, it forced me to confront the question of results and how I would handle inquiries that happened after.? More importantly, this experience highlighted the need to set goals that push me beyond my perceived limitations, goals that truly ignite a fire within.
Lesson 1: Let's reflect, were our goals truly stretching us? Might we have inadvertently capped our own potential?"
Turning Point 2: I Might Be Able to Do "A Little" Better
There's truth to what my tuition teacher once said: PT3 results matter for course selection, but SPM truly impacts your future.? She emphasized, "Years later, no one will ask about your PT3 score, but your SPM results will come up."
Her words resonated. While others enjoyed their December break, I diligently attended tuition and seminars. This dedication paid off –? I ranked 5th in class with several A's in the first Form 4 test.? Subjects like Science (87) and History (94) came naturally, but Math (72) remained a struggle.?
Fueled by the desire to maintain my good grades, I focused solely on my strengths, neglecting Math.?Going from a student rarely getting A's to achieving them felt fantastic.? Our tuition teacher constantly reminds us that even students with failing grades can achieve straight A's in the SPM, emphasizing hard work's power. Despite their stories, I remained convinced these students were just naturally gifted. "I'll never be like them," I thought, feeling defeated. Since I wasn't inherently smart, I figured maintaining good grades in my strong subjects was enough.
Blinded by this belief, I mindlessly continued rote memorization, mimicking "smart" students who tirelessly reviewed notes.? Studying became a means to an end – good grades to appease my parent.? Unsurprisingly, I failed Math repeatedly, blaming my lack of "math genes."
Then came a turning point. During a parent-teacher conference, my mom expressed her concern about my math struggles.? My kind but firm math teacher surprised me.? She didn't see me as a bad student; instead, she acknowledged my "responsible qualities," praising me for efficiently creating a class map plan and volunteering during a school event.? This praise, reminiscent of my Mandarin teacher commending my initiative in primary school, reignited a spark within me.? For students like me, a single word of encouragement from a teacher can be a powerful motivator, leaving a lasting impact.
Fast forward to college.? Initially, enrolling in the Diploma in Business program felt like just another step.? But as the counselor explained the diverse career paths, a genuine interest in business – marketing, human resources, accounting – bloomed.? My goal became finding a fulfilling job, not just good grades.
Despite finally embracing Math through extra practice, I settled for a 3.0 CGPA in my first college semester.? Seeing classmates with much higher GPAs exposed the limitations of my "good enough" mentality.? There's always room for improvement.
This journey taught me the importance of intrinsic motivation.? Focusing on learning and growth, not just grades, has become my guiding principle.? It's a constant work in progress, but one that allows me to embrace challenges and strive for excellence.
Lesson 2: Finding your reason to act, making a choice, and persevering are the keys to taking that first step.
Turning Point 3: The Personal Development Class that Ignited My Passion
My college turning point began in an unexpected place: a required personal development class.? We had two instructors – the Dean of the Faculty and a senior lecturer.? Initially, my friends and I chose the Dean's class simply due to scheduling, though fearing her strictness. However, on the first day, we were surprised. The Dean, a warm and humorous teacher, introduced an "Employer Project" with a final presentation for the top two groups.
This sparked a dream within me – to stand confidently on stage. Unlike other lecturers, the Dean presented the subject as manageable and impactful on our grades.? This, combined with my desire for an A, ignited a newfound drive.? For the first time, I volunteered to lead a team.
Despite limited resources (free editing software, a 50MP phone camera, and no budget!), we created a video resume.? I took charge, collaborating with teammates on everything from scriptwriting to video editing. Through this process, our team secured a spot in the final presentation.
Standing before a crowd of over 80, a thrill surged through me.? The Dean's earlier advice – to focus on conveying the message – echoed in my mind.? Despite initial nervousness, I delivered the presentation with clarity, marking a personal milestone. Not only did I conquer my fear of public speaking, but I discovered a newfound passion for it.
This success fueled my desire for further growth.? I readily participated in another voluntary project that semester, incorporating humor into my second presentation (to much amusement from the judges).? The class also prompted me to reflect on my resume, leading to a pivotal moment. The Dean, reviewing student resumes after class, commented that she saw potential in me.? Her words, filled with encouragement, fueled my determination to improve.
This personal development class, with the Dean's gentle nudge and my own initiative, became a turning point.? I began to believe in myself, unlocking my potential.? It was also the first semester I made the Dean's List. This newfound confidence extended beyond academics. Inspired by a motivational post the Dean shared, I realized learning went beyond textbooks.? I actively sought out top performers in class and extracurricular activities, soaking up their "secrets" to success.? This continuous learning propelled my GPA to 3.92 in my final semester. The journey began with overcoming a fear, but ultimately led me to lead a group of high achievers in our final year project.
Lesson 3: This experience revealed that success lies not in the final grade, but in the journey of learning. Embracing the process allowed me to conquer fears and embrace boldness, qualities far more valuable than any academic metric.
The journey continues! Discover 3 more turning points in the next article.
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