THE BREAKFAST OF CHAMPIONS

"Feedback is the breakfast of champions." -Ken Blanchard I was more than a bit excited about my new book reaching the Amazon last week when one of my publishers took me to one side and warned me of the dangers for authors of 'excessive Amazon watching'.? Apparently, in this day and age of high-technology, many authors spend their time watching their books for signs of life on Amazon, allowing their moods to fluctuate with their sales rankings as they check in weekly, daily, hourly, or every few minutes. :-) I have to be told what`s going on! At first I was embarrassed to admit that I had already fallen prey to this uniquely modern 'disease', but when I thought about it in the context of Mihaly Csikszentmihaly's research into the psychology of optimal experience, it made perfect sense. According to Csikszentmihaly, the two main pre-conditions for optimal experience (aka 'being in the zone') are: 1. A clear goal 2. Immediate and ongoing feedback In other words, in order to have as wonderful an experience as possible of going for what you want, you need to know both what you want and how things are going in relation to achieving it.? And at first glance, Amazon watching seems to be a perfect fit.? Most authors have a goal to do with their book selling well, and Amazon offers hourly updates about how well it's selling. But in order to understand why Amazon watching tends NOT to actually lead to optimal experience, consider each of the following examples in as much detail as possible: A. You want to be a great parent to your children.? When they are?young, you seem to be doing great - everyone comments on what beautiful, happy babies you have.? But as baby grows up, you become less certain.? Surely if you were a great parent your four year old would not be throwing themselves on the ground and having a fit at the supermarket.? And you are?proud of your eight year old for winning that 'good citizenship' award, but would a great parent let their thirteen year old go out dressed like THAT?? When it comes right down to it, you have no idea how you are?doing as a parent - and trying to be great at it anyways is exhausting... B. At the beginning of the year, you set up everything perfectly.? You created a clear budget (or 'spending plan', as you prefer to call it), opened a new tracking file in Quicken and laid out all your financial goals for the year.? But somehow, you never seem to have time to fill in any of the information.? And if you are?being really honest, you not only do not?know how you are?doing in relation to your spending plan, you do not?even know if you are?spending less than you are?earning.? When some unexpected cash comes your way, you feel pretty relaxed about things, but every time a bill arrives in the mail, you can feel your heart start to beat a little bit faster. You keep telling yourself you should just begin using your systems, but each day you put it off it seems a more and more daunting task.? And besides, you barely have enough time as it is.? Surely there are more important things in life than money... C. You tap your baton on the edge of your music stand and the room gradually fills with a symphony of silence.? As you lift up your arms, you can see each person lean slightly forward, eyes fixed on you, preparing to follow your slightest signal.? Suddenly your arms come crashing down and the room explodes into sound.? For the next few minutes, you carefully monitor the tempo and volume of each instrument, taking care to speed or slow your movements as you guide the orchestra through the piece.? Finally, as the piece builds to a crescendo, you build with it, at times leading and at times following until it seems as though there is no separation between you and them.? When the final note is played and the audience bursts into applause, you feel absolutely exhilarated... Now whether or not all of these situations were familiar to you, they illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of the different kinds of feedback systems that most of us are familiar with in our lives. 1. Out of Control Feedback The reason that we feel so out of control in our parenting example is that we are attempting to evaluate how we are?doing based on purely external criteria over which we have no direct control - how our children seem to be doing in the world. While our feedback may be ongoing (for the rest of our lives!) and at times immediate (try telling one of your children to 'go clean their room - now!' if you want to learn more), it doesn't lead to optical experience because we cannot?easily adjust our behaviour in relation to it.? Sometimes one thing seems to work (i.e. gets our kids to do what we want); sometimes it has the exact opposite effect. Worse still, there is no clear time frame in which we will know that we are?succeeded.? If I have happy kids but miserable teenagers, was I 'a great parent'? What if those miserable, poorly behaved teenagers grew up to be happy, well-adjusted adults?? How about if they had fantastic childhoods and then struggled as grown-ups? In order to create a more useful feedback system, we need to focus on what is actually within our control.? For example, how different would your experience of yourself as a parent be if you based your feedback on some or all of the following questions? *Am I in a loving state when I'm with my children? *Am I taking the time to explain what it is I want from them (and why?) *Am I listening to what they have to say, or just telling them what they have to do? *Am I being the kind of person I would most like them to be? By evaluating our performance based on our behaviours (while still checking them from time to time against the results to make sure we've chosen relevant criteria), we not only have a system of immediate and ongoing feedback, we can simply (if not always easily) adapt our? behaviour accordingly. 2. 'It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time' Feedback In our money example, we are?set up an 'in-control' feedback system but we are?not using it.? In my experience there are only two reasons this happens.? The first is because we do not?really know how to use the system.? If this is true for you, the simple solution is to ask for help, either online or from a 'live resource'.? (We used to call them 'people'.? Ah well... :-) The second reason is that we are scared of what we might find if we actually took the time to look.? Yet interestingly, most of the time what you actually discover is nowhere near as bad as what you were making up in your head.? And on those few occasions where it is, finding out sooner rather than later can save your bank balance, your marriage, or even your life. 3. Immediate, Ongoing *Actionable* Feedback The difference that makes the difference when it comes to feedback (and the reason 'Amazon watching' doesn't work) is that quality feedback is readily *actionable* - in other words, you are able to quickly adjust your actions based on the feedback you are receiving.? The reason conducting an orchestra is (reportedly) such an optimal experience is the same reason you probably enjoy participating in sports, playing video games or dancing with a partner in a nightclub.? Every action leads to a new response and every response allows you to choose a new action.? We are then able to lose our self-consciousness and become completely absorbed in the task at hand. (There is of course a way of being in the world where there is nothing to measure and goals and feedback are completely irrelevant.? At the end of today's experiment, I'll make a few suggestions for how you can 'optimise your experience' without doing anything at all...) Today's Experiment: 1. Think of a goal you have in an area of your life that is important to you.? 2. What sort of feedback system do you have in place - in other words, how do you know the answer to the question 'how are things going?' 3. What could you do to make your feedback system more useful and 'user-friendly'? *Is the feedback immediate and ongoing? *Is it based on things which are (mostly) within your control? *Is it obvious to you how to adjust your behaviour depending on the different kinds of feedback you are getting from your system? 4. If you recognised yourself in the 'It seemed like a good idea at the time' category, take on whichever of the following challenges seems most appropriate: a. Book in sometime this week with a 'live resource' to help you get unstuck and get going on putting your system into action b. 'Feel the fear and do it anyway.'? Resolve to do what it takes to find out where you actually stand in relation to your goal.? The only thing you have to lose is the fear! 5. Take at least one minute (now would be an excellent time!) to simply be - nowhere to go, nothing to do, nowhere to be.? You can think or not think, have fun or be miserable, pay attention or let your mind wander.? The only instruction is to stay relatively still (but scratch if it itches) and disengaged from any excessive external stimuli (in other words it doesn't really count if you are?watching the football or mid-conversation on the telephone). If you enjoy your 'measureless minute' (and even if you do not), consider extending that time for as long as ten or even twenty minutes a day.? You may be surprised at how quickly things begin to change for the better...

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