Break-up With Your Job, Before Wine and Zoloft Become Your Best Friends

Don’t Cheat Yourself, Treat Yourself! 

As a mentor and friend, I spend a lot of time giving career advice. I have found the common thread between a rewarding career and workplace misery to be FEAR. I’m sure you are well aware of the saying, “fear is false evidence appearing real?” If not, you just learned something new. Most people do a lot of complaining but not enough moving (except for their lips). If you want things to change, you first need to change your thinking. Your thoughts become your beliefs, and those beliefs turn into either action or inaction. If you are currently unhappy with your job, what are you doing to change your situation? If the answer is complaining, you shouldn’t be surprised by the results.

If any of this resonates with you, read on. I wanted to share with you a few of the concepts from my upcoming book, “No One Starts at Zero: How to Use Your Life Experiences to Level Up!”

They say that people don’t quit their jobs; they quit their bosses. I can certainly testify to that sentiment; however, people also quit on themselves when they fail to act. I get it, change is hard, but if it were easy, you’d have everything you wanted in life, wouldn’t you? The question is, do you love yourself enough to stop the madness and sadness? What are you willing to do about your situation today that will put the wheels of change in motion?

Every time, I sought a job or career change, I had a long and hard look at myself. I ask myself, “what do I really want?” Once I‘ve determined, what I wanted, I then asked myself, “what is stopping me from getting it?” We are all motivated by different things. Some of us seek recognition, some desire a title, and some of us want Mo ‘Money! Whatever the case may be, we all want something. Figuring it all out requires a high degree of introspection, honesty, and self-awareness.

Believing the Corporate Lie

If you work at the best company on Earth, either you really do, or you have drunk the Kool-Aid. Every company says they’re the best place to work for in the world, and some even have the social credentials to back up their story. However, if you ask their employees, you might hear a different narrative. Just because your company is great, it doesn’t mean it is a great fit for you.

There may be several reasons why you don’t fit in, which can run the full gamut from education, lifestyle, mindset, and sadly enough, nefarious reasons such as sexism, racism, and ageism. Some companies run their operations like the pimp game; they give their employees just enough to live well, but not enough to leave. Other companies pay and promote their employees to levels they wouldn’t achieve in like businesses, so they are trapped into staying. In any case, don’t let fear keep you in a place where you know you don’t belong. Believe, there are other places to go, BUT YOU NEED TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE WORTH.

The Money Trap

We are all in an openly abusive relationship with a man named Bill. Male and female alike, Bill loves us all. You’re probably wondering, “Who the F*#K, is Bill?” You may know him by his aliases, LIGHT BILL, CAR BILL, MORTGAGE BILL, PHONE BILL, etc. No matter how high on the food chain you are, you’re paying somebody to live.

If you’re staying at your job because you make good money and you’re afraid you have reached your peak, you’re caught in the money trap. If you’re happy, why are you still reading this article? If you’re unhappy, then are you willing to take a step back financially to work at a place where you’d flourish professionally, personally, and economically? I am not talking about a fairytale land; I am talking about real companies that are waiting on your talents. However, change always comes with a price. The price may require you to go back to school, move your family, or be uncomfortable for a while. Are you tough enough to endure the pain?

EIO? Model

If you are convinced beyond the shadow of a doubt that you want to change, I suggest you begin by using my simple EIO? Model to start your journey towards building an action plan.  

Experimentation – Don’t be afraid to step outside of your comfort zone. You’d be surprised by how many things you already know that will help jump-start another career. Don’t cling to jobs and ways of doing outdated things. You’re never too old to intern or volunteer to learn a new skill. I interned at 35, and it turned into a V.P. position.

Investment – How much time and money are you willing to invest in your upskilling? An education investment could be as cheap as a monthly subscription to LinkedIn Learning or as expensive as a college degree. I have done both and continue to put aside a portion of my income to invest in my continuing education. Don’t let time or money stand in your way. Make sacrifices. If you’re not willing to make sacrifices, then you really don’t want to change.

Open-mindedness – A magic genie won’t show up to your house and grant you three wishes. Just like the perfect job isn’t going to appear suddenly. You’re going to hear a lot of no’s before you hear a yes. You may have to take a career step downward or laterally before you can move up. You may need to change industries, cities, or states, but success is only for the bold. 

RISE? Model

Before you let your job steal another minute of your life, consider using my RISE? Model to organize your thoughts.

R – Research a new career path that aligns to your passions.

I – Identify the parallels between your current career/job and the job you desire.

S – Strategize an action plan to gain the new skills required for your new career path.

E – Execute your plan by updating your resume, enrolling in courses, and networking with professionals, and professional associations in your field. 

Breaking up with your job is no easy task. You should think long and hard about what you will lose and gain by leaving. Again, don’t fall into the money trap. Use one or both of my models as starting points. Both models are smart places to start, but they are not meant to be exhaustive. Think of them as baby steps or perhaps your way of dipping in a toe to check the water temperature before you dive in headfirst. In closing, I assure you there is light at the end of your dark tunnel. The question remains, what are you willing to do, to get what you want?

Last Bit of Advice

Don’t rage-quit your job! I know the pressure seems overwhelming, but remember Bill doesn’t care that your boss is an A-hole or your job sucks. Bill only cares that you have his money on time (Bill is sort of like a pimp). In my youth, I have rage-quit a job or two. However, when I quit, I had a healthy savings account or a side hustle to keep me afloat until I found a new job. Not everyone has this luxury. Never decide to quit your job out of anger because anger emanates from a place of fear, and fear is false evidence appearing real.

 Before you pour yourself another glass of wine and pop a Zoloft so you can get through another night of anxiety-induced sleeplessness, consider what is at stake. Are your health, sanity, and best years of your adulthood worth dying slowly at a job you hate? Only you can answer this question, so stop cheating yourself out of happiness and take action, immediately!

#careeradvice, #jobs, #motivation, #careers, #workplace, #employment, #opportunity