Brazilian Jiu Jitsu: Eight Lessons from My Journey to Black Belt

The best lessons apply to all aspects of life. Nowhere have I learned more than training Brazilian Jiu Jitsu (BJJ).

I earned my black belt in October 2019 after securing my third double-gold victory of the year. At that moment, I had secured the #1 ranking globally across all weight classes in IBJJF’s Masters 2 brown belt division. As I prepare to compete at black belt in 2023—an ambition long delayed by the pandemic—here are a few lessons that I took from the mats into the office.

1: Work With People You Trust

The primary goal of BJJ is to force your opponent into submission. You can do that in two ways: chokes or joint manipulation. Whether at a competition or in the gym, you put your physical well-being at risk every time you step onto the mat. At the gym, you need training partners who you can trust to push you to your limits without hurting you. In competition, you must trust your opponent to release a submission hold when you tap. And you must do the same for your opponents and training partners.

Trust is the cornerstone of all successful working relationships. You must trust your leaders to make wise choices, your managers to look after your best interests and your teammates to put forward their best efforts. If you can’t trust the people you work with, you’re in the wrong place. And if they can’t trust you, then you have an even bigger problem on your hands.

2: You Can’t Do It Alone

While success in BJJ is often celebrated at the individual level, it’s always a collective effort. Instructors share knowledge and cultivate an environment fit for learning. In the best gyms, they help everyone progress—from the weekend warrior and the competition-focused athlete to the people who just wants to sweat a little bit.

Training partners are equally important. These are the people you spend the most time with on the mats. They provide feedback, challenge you and help you practice your technique. Many become friends, too. Nobody does it alone. Without instructors and training partners, there’s no BJJ.

The same is true in business. Sure, some lone wolves achieve great things on their own. They are few and far between. From start-ups to MNCs, the most successful companies rely on teamwork and collaboration. A diversity of viewpoints, experience and expertise sum to more than any one individual could ever offer or achieve.

3: The Game Always Evolves

When I started training BJJ, nobody was talking about K-guard, matrix, crab ride and float passing. A lot has changed over the past 12 years. While old-school techniques remain relevant, new techniques are equally important, especially for competitors. Just when you think you’ve seen it all, somebody breaks out a technique you haven’t seen or heard of before. The game changes again.

Keeping up with the latest trends requires patience and determination. This holds true in business. When I began working in media, nascent social platforms were a place for people to share party pics shot on pocket-sized digital cameras. Today, virtually anybody can break news on social platforms, sharing photos or videos captured with their smartphones. Few of us expected such a rapid evolution.

Whether you’re in the office or on the mats, keeping on top of the latest trends is always a worthwhile investment, regardless of whether you do it for awareness or adoption.

4: Sometimes You Must Go Backwards to Progress

We tend to overcommit in BJJ. We fight hard to secure a grip or establish a position. When things go our way, we feel reassured about our technique. It works! But sometimes we get stuck. When this happens, we tend to double down—push/pull harder, squeeze tighter, apply more pressure. Whatever it is we’re trying to do, we do more of the same because we’re unwilling to give up what we worked so hard to secure. In these situations, going backwards is often the way to progress. Give up your grip to secure another. Transition between positions. Step back and reconsider your options.

We face the same challenge in business. Whether writing an article, designing a product, setting a strategic direction or something else, we’re often unwilling to undo our hard work in the face of adversity. It’s not that we’re stubborn. Often, we’re simply afraid that we won’t find a better way. Yet, time and again, experience shows that taking a step back is what we really need to move forward.

5: The Path to Success Starts With Failure

Nobody secures a perfect record in BJJ. Even the legends have flaws. Shifting to wrestling, Dan Gable proves the point. Widely considered one of the greatest wrestlers of all time, the Olympic gold medalist had a near-perfect college record of 117-1. The loss? His final match. Dan faced an inferior opponent. Maybe emotions got the best of him that day. Whatever it was, Dan left the mat with a small blemish on his career and probably the most important lesson he could have learned.

Whether training in the gym, competing for gold or chasing a business KPI, we often learn more from our losses than our victories. We’ve all encountered this wisdom in one form or another. “If you aren’t failing, you aren’t taking enough risks,” and “Failure isn’t the opposite of success, it’s part of success.” While it’s never easy in the moment, learning to embrace failure and heed the lessons it offers steers us towards success further down the line. Make your failures count!

6: Know When to Tap Out

I mentioned the physical perils of BJJ above. While good training partners and respectful opponents are vital for your well-being, you are equally responsible. If you resist and arm bar beyond what it reasonable, your elbow might snap. If you fight that choke for a few seconds too long, you’ll go to sleep. We all want to win—every single one of us. But it’s important to know when to tap. Your life depends on it.

Here, start-ups come to mind. An estimated 90% of start-ups fail. Despite best efforts, things don’t pan out as planned. Sometimes you’re too early. Others you have the right idea but the wrong execution. And sometimes you’re just off the mark. It’s often clear when things aren’t going to pan out. In these cases, it’s best to admit defeat before the consequences become too great. Tap out. Walk away. Reset. Try again.

7: You Can’t Always Be the Best

The ever-evolving BJJ scene produces new talent every year. The people winning the biggest tournaments at purple belt today would likely crush the black belts of the previous generation. And so it will be when the next generation emerges. Whether competing against our peers or rising stars, we will always encounter someone better—especially in BJJ where styles cancel one another out. Just when you reach the top of your game, someone might come along and take it apart.

Sometimes our teammates, colleagues and competitors shine brighter than we do. They seem smarter. More talented. Destined for greatness the way we once were. Initially, these people make us red with envy. But if we’re smart, we’ll watch, listen and learn for they have much to teach us. You can’t always be the best, but you can strive to be your best. Success entails learning from those who do things better.

8: We All Start as White Belts

It took me nine years to earn my black belt. While that’s a little faster than average, the journey was long and hard. I trained four to five days per week without fail. It took longer than it should have to learn when to tap. I was slow to embrace failure. And I was often too stubborn to step backwards to progress. When I focused on trying to be the best, I never was. Like most people, I learned the lessons that the mat offered the hard way—by putting in the time, making sacrifices and failing constantly. I knew none of what BJJ taught me when I started because I was a white belt. Deep down, I still am.

We’re all white belts when we try something new—a task, a role, a hobby. With time and effort, we slowly progress. While we tend to focus on earning the next belt, it’s important that we don’t lose sight of what’s in front of us. It’s about the journey after all. That’s where the real lessons are.

A Note of Gratitude

It would be cool to end this post with a short highlight video of my last year competing at brown belt. But it’s more meaningful to end with this: On my 40th birthday, a bunch of people came to the gym to shark tank me—grind me into dust, basically—at 6:45am on a Friday. I haven’t made many friends throughout my life. Nor have I ever celebrated my birthday. So, this was special. I couldn’t have asked for anything better.

Osss!