Brave Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani

Brave Not Perfect by Reshma Saujani

When is the last time you felt you did something brave?

Was it this morning?

Maybe it was yesterday?

Do you think of yourself as brave?

Maybe when you think about “being brave” you think of Shackleton or Emelia Earhart or Karen Blixen or the suffragettes who chained themselves to buildings or other Big Brave Achievements

I recently listened to Reshma Saujani’s TED Talk – which is terrific & click here if you haven’t watched it.

That led me to order her book “Brave Not Perfect”

Reshma’s premise in the book is that “we are raising boys to be brave but our girls to be perfect and that’s holding us back”

I love this book. I love that she exaggerates to extremes to make her point.

How we raise girls:

The book starts with a description of how girls are raised to “play it safe” and to “be agreeable so we’ll be liked.”

She writes “Well-meaning parents and teachers guide us towards activities we excel at so we can shine, and they steer us away from the ones we aren’t naturally good at to spare our feelings and grade point averages. Of course the intentions are good …”

How we raise boys:

Boys on the other hand “… absorb a very different message. They are taught to explore, play rough, swing high, climb to the top of the monkey bars – and fall down trying. They are encouraged to try new things …”

It is these 2 opposing sets of messages that Reshma uses to “define” brave vs perfect.

Part 1 “How girls are trained for perfection”

I found Part 1 “How girls are trained for perfection” a bit difficult to relate to personally as this had not really been my experience growing up.

I did wonder if some of the assertions were more reflective of geographical or generational environments?

I grew up in Queensland in the 1970s, the daughter of immigrants and can honestly say I don’t feel like “being perfect” was ever part of who I thought I needed to be.

As I read Part 1 I felt even more blessed to have the mum & dad I had and the family home I grew up in. Reshma’s book solidified my love and gratitude for my parents more than ever.

Part 2 “Brave is the New Black”

Part 2 “Brave is the New Black” starts with “Redefining bravery” and continues into “Why be brave?”

This is my favourite section of the book because it helped me remember times when I have made brave decisions and where I have “been brave” and how “not perfect” I am!

I reckon when you read it, the same will happen for you. Thank you Reshma! Super smart writing!

Perfection vs Accuracy

One of the things I came to realise for myself is Perfect is not the same as Accurate

My relationship with the whole idea of perfection has always been troublesome and when I hear someone say “it needs to be perfect” I always think “according to who?”

Your definition of perfection is likely to be quite different from any other person’s idea of what perfect looks like.

The thing is, I am accurate. As an accountant and all the other roles I’ve had regarding money and balancing numbers = accuracy.

This is quite different to perfection.

While I do admire and seek accuracy, there are times where a “near enough is good enough” approach can be extremely helpful.

Part 3 “Kiss the Perfect Girl Goodbye; The Path to Being Brave”

Part 3 “Kiss the Perfect Girl Goodbye; The Path to Being Brave” lists very practical ways to build bravery

This is a meaty section of the book filled with examples and stories. I believe we can all find something new to try here in pages 113 - 177

Reading these pages I am sure will help you recall your own bravery, the times you’ve made brave decisions, the times when you have tried new things, taken chances.

I encourage you to take the time and reflect on those times you've been brave - big brave + small brave!!

This book is well worth reading as one of those books you come back to again and again to remind yourself you are brave, you have been brave and you will continue to be brave.

It’s not just about the big and public brave acts, those everyday brave moments are also extremely valuable.

My belief is that it is when we notice and acknowledge ourselves for these small quiet moments that we build our bravery muscle.

Let’s go back to those opening questions...

When is the last time you felt you did something brave?

This morning?

Yesterday?

Do you think of yourself as brave?

Yes you are! You are Brave !

More than you know!

I'm Ingrid Thompson and I'm the Founder of?Healthy Numbers?and I am on a mission to help women business owners achieve the financial independence they are looking for in their business

Discover your free personalised financial health score with the Business Financial Health Check -?Click here to answer 15 Yes/ No questions

Based on my years of experience working in and with businesses, I wrote,?"So You Want to Start a Business; the 7 steps to create, start and grown your own business". You can order your copy of the book here:?https://bit.ly/ThattBook

I host the popular podcast?“So You Want to Start a Business”?I interview entrepreneurs and business owners about their business startup journey so we can learn from their wisdom.?Click here?to listen to more than 180 episodes

Do you need help to start, build and grow your business?

Please connect with me here on Linked In or email me at [email protected]?