Branding your workplace as a “family” - is that a Sustainable Success Strategy?

Somehow, in the past few years, videos and articles of people refuting the idea of calling the workplace a family have caught my attention many times on social media.

Here are just some of them: https://hbr.org/2021/10/the-toxic-effects-of-branding-your-workplace-a-family

https://www.forbes.com/sites/deniselyohn/2019/11/05/stop-saying-your-company-is-like-a-family/

https://thefullfrontal.my/were-a-family-heres-why-companies-should-stop-saying-this/

And I did engaged in debates by commenting on some of them.

I am one of the CEO who labeled our workplace as a “family” in our employee chat group and the word does appear in conversations.

So should we or should we not?

Let’s set the context right where it should be, and list down the fundamental truths.

In one of those debates I had on social media about a year ago, I remember making this statement:

“You can call it whatever you want, as long as it is clearly defined, clearly communicated, and being uphold effectively in the culture”.? (That started a debate)

I have slightly different view on the statement above now, after gaining a little more wisdom.

But let me point out my thought process behind that statement first.

I had these assumptions:

• No one in the organisation, or no one we are going to hire, is naive enough to assume that the meaning of the word “family” in the context of the workplace is IDENTICAL to the word “family” in the context of a biological family.
• It was so obvious (to me) that the context of “family”, when mentioned in the workplace, is DIFFERENT, e.g. I will only share a bed with my spouse, never will I do that with anyone else.? I clearly know there are differences, and I assumed that’s common sense to everyone even those with low level of intelligence.
• The concept of “family” in the workplace is defined by the shared values, which makes clear what being a “family” means in the context of workplace.

So what could be the challenge, despite of those assumptions?

In general - it is not what is said that is the problem (as in what has been defined as “family”), it is what is NOT said (or not defined) AND not so common sense.

Let’s explore the challenges, based on the perspective given by the HBR article above.

The Challenge - Blurred lines..

“According to research, when an organization uses the family metaphor in businesses, it creates a positive, motivating and morale-boosting culture, where colleagues are not seen as colleagues any more, but as brothers or sisters. This leads employees to emotionally attach themselves to the organization. While it can reduce conflicts and disagreements within the organization, a fear of causing a strain in the relationship with their superiors (who are now seen as fathers or mothers) could leave employees feeling like they must share any information that is being asked of them.”

“Research shows when managers cannot “see” their direct reports, they sometimes struggle to trust that their employees are actually working. This might prompt managers to seek out employees’ start and stop times as well as information about what they are doing all day long (read: micromanagement) when on company time. Marry this with cultures that prioritize output of work over outcomes, and employers will feel entitled to knowledge that is only relevant to the employee.?“

The point

“Trust” is an inherent value of a family.

Without trust - any “family” will fall apart, whether it is a household type of family or corporate type.

Distinction - TRUST means different things in different context.

In a biological family - trust is created through the conviction of marriage and blood bond.

In a corporate, business and client relationships - trust has DIFFERENT dimensions.? And there are at least 2 - character and competence

(Read https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/organizational-employee-development/how-best-leaders-build-trust)

The point I get is - if you cannot define trust in the workplace well and uphold it as a value, then the “family” brand will fall apart.

Trust will prevent employers and managers from crossing the line and barge into personal boundaries with the excuse of “performance management”.

The Challenge -? Exaggerated sense of loyalty…

“Numerous examples and research show that overly loyal people are more likely to participate in unethical acts to keep their jobs and are also more likely to be exploited by their employer. These could manifest as being asked to work unreasonable hours or on projects or assignments unrelated to your role, or?keeping things under wraps because it is in the company’s (read: family) best interest. We’re all in this together, so you have to play your part, right?”

The point

Are family members supposed to forgive each other no matter what happens?

The short answer is yes, however - it cannot be done without confronting the family member if a wrongful act is committed, or a wrongful thought was expressed!

This may be counter intuitive - but a person of integrity will not participate in unethical act, nor allow it to happen without intervention.

A person with integrity will standout for himself or herself and others, when victimised and exploited.

The point I get is - if you cannot define integrity in the workplace well and UPHOLD it as a value, then the “family” brand will be abused.

(Read: https://plato.stanford.edu/Entries/integrity/)

Integrity is the value that will increase the probability of the righteous acts are being carried out most of the time when tempted to do otherwise.

The Challenge - Creating illusions and delusions…

“Another problem arises when it comes down to letting someone go or sharing constructive feedback. In a “family” culture, it almost always will feel personal. You don’t fire a family member, nor do you put them through performance improvement plans. Relationships between employees and employers are temporary in nature, and at some point, have to come to an end. So to liken the relationship to a family creates an allusion that the bond will last indefinitely.”

That’s right - there is no context of “performance management” in a biological family context.? We don’t “manage the performance” of our spouse or children.? We are supposed to give them unconditional love.

The relationship between any team and the team member is always “conditional” isn’t it… if a team member is behaving in a way that will jeopardise the common objective and ethos of the team, then the team member has to be made to leave the team.

The point I want to make

We can’t compartmentalise our values.

A person who values relationship will value all relationships- whether it is among family, friends or colleagues.

The reason that people take things “personally” in the workplace, I would argue, is not because they adopted the “family” concept in the workplace.

It is mostly because the self worth or ego is being challenged - whether intentionally or otherwise. But this is one thing that all of us need to learn and grow ourselves in.? “Taking things personally” is almost never a good strategy, no matter which context of “family” we are in.? Instead - we ought to develop a sense of self worth and positive ego that is based upon a deep knowledge and recognition of our own character and competencies, so that we will not feel “defeated” or “violated” or any emotions with long term destructive impact when we receive negative feedback or opinions.

And as leaders - we ought to ensure that performance expectations are defined as clearly as possible, up front.? Performance expectations must include behavioural expectations on top of outcome/output expectations, this should minimise the chances of performance management being perceived as “personal judgements” when there are areas (especially the behavioural part) that is not up to expectations.

Summary

1. Branding your workplace as “family” - it is definitely not for every organisations.
2. Does it mean you should NEVER do it, like what the TED talk says?? - I think if you are willing and convicted to do what it takes, you have a chance of making it successful.? Some examples here: https://greatnotbig.com/2014/03/is-a-company-like-family/ and https://blog.lemonadestand.org/6-ways-your-company-should-be-like-a-family/.
3. What does it take to make the “family” brand successful?? It requires clear definition of that “family” represents in your organization and clear and constant communication about it - what it is, and what it is NOT.? It requires a strong commitment and execution in upholding values that the “family” context represents in your organization.? It requires a STRONG leadership team.
4. Is it SUSTAINABLE?? I have never seen any trillion dollar companies that called themselves a “family”.? I can hardly think of any billion dollar companies that called themselves a “family”. (Zappos may be still one of them, one of their core value is "build a positive team and family spirit").? As the company grow in size (number of employees), the challenge to find leaders and managers that share the same alignment in upholding the context of “family” will become extraordinarily difficult and that’s when cracks will start to show.? Do you really want to start then?? Jesus said that “But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only few will find it.” (Matthew 7:14).? As a Christian business owner, I would say if you want to do it, do it with Godly strength and wisdom.? As for me - I have started it with some naivety 15 years ago and I am still upholding it, I have not come to the point where I need to re-consider yet, I pray that the day will never come and yet I have enough humility to know that it is not up to me.