'Braking' the Cycle of Complacency

It’s hard to change old habits. I recently did an Iyengar yoga class, for the first time in about 19 years. During the first set of gentle warm up stretches, the teacher asked to fold our fingers together one way, and then the other. When I tried to switch the direction of my fingers – a simple enough task – I got stuck. My brain didn’t want to invert the direction I was used to, and it took mental energy to make it happen.

I thought “wow… that should have been so simple; of all the things to struggle with.” Then I started thinking how true this is for so many areas of our lives. We talk about “muscle memory,” yet don’t realize how often this dominates the choices we make. We often stick with what’s familiar and comfortable.

So what does it take to break out of the comfortable, and when do you know if it’s time to pivot?

Last year I started training for and doing sprint Triathalons, which was definitely outside of my comfort zone. I needed a new challenge. I had to train my body how to run, swim properly, and bike for endurance vs. leisure. It felt good, even when managing or pushing through physical discomfort.

A few months ago I bought a new road bike and was urged to use clipless pedals. Those who swear by clips all said to give it time, re-train the brain; it will come with practice. I literally had to re-learn how to “brake” the cycle. I fell a couple of times the first time I tried them. I got the tension released, and had a few good rides. But then I fell again, this time in a busy intersection. It freaked me out. I got anxious just thinking about using them again. I ultimately decided I didn’t want to ruin my lifelong joy of bike riding, so I had the clips switched back to regular pedals, at least for now. I don’t feel like I gave up. I did what I felt was necessary to re-gain confidence for my soon approaching Triathalon, which I did. 

From this experience, I decided there’s a difference between pushing beyond one’s comfort zone, and compromising physical safety. What about when safety isn’t a factor? How often do we get stuck in the same patterns in relationships, at work, or in our career, and what does it take to make positive changes?

Not everyone needs to seek big changes, such as going for a promotion, speaking in public, or starting their own business (or doing a Triathalon). A positive change may be taking on a small project, making a new acquaintance at work, or trying out new foods for lunch. We are creatures of habit, but when it comes to fulfillment, complacency is our enemy.

Attitude is key. It’s hard to get un-stuck when one’s brain is in a rut. Push beyond it. Tell yourself what you need to do, and do it, one step at a time. For an extreme and motivating example of this, read this wonderful book (Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine, by Gail Honeyman).

I’m not an expert on any of this. I only know what I’ve experienced and observed over 2.5+ decades of professional experience, and a couple more decades of life. I still can’t fold my hands the ‘other’ way easily, but will keep practicing. Once it’s second nature, I’ll move on to the next challenge.