Brain Shame

If we want our children and our workforce to think clearly, then we can ask ourselves how are we contributing to their environment by the way we express ourselves.

It’s so easy to shut down a brain and literally create a dumbed down version of who people are, just through automatic and unconscious behaviours like: criticising, judging, humour that hurts and even neglecting to validate someone when they clearly need it.

Pointing out mistakes in front of a group (public shaming) will do it, if the delivery is insensitive. If it’s a learning opportunity, and the person who made the error is willing to share, then different story.

It's been proven in neurological studies that when faced with shame, the brain reacts as if it were facing physical danger. The sympathetic nervous system is triggered and generates a flight/fight/freeze response. The flight response triggers the feeling of needing to disappear and makes us want to try to become invisible. Observing children who are shamed, and you will notice that they literally look smaller and their expressions become blank. Shaming can literally shut down our brains.

Sometimes we think jokes that humiliate are harmless. It’s even part of certain types of workplace culture. But really, is it bringing the best out of your children, your employees, your friends? Somewhere deep inside them, it might trigger a shame response. And once they shut down, you really won’t have the trust there, nor the best version of them either. Well, not around you!

It may be important to ask yourself what you want to achieve when you are shaming others. If it is to bring out the best in them, then perhaps you are going about it the wrong way. To those of you that have learnt to be careful with your words, thank you in arrears and advance. You are contributing to a healthier, wiser and more evolved society.

#shaming #toxicshame #healingtheshamethatbindsyou #healthyworkplace #culture