Brain-hacking Yourself in 3 Easy Steps
Shira Abel
Keynote speaker | Get better results using behavioral science | CEO Hunter & Bard - Award-Winning B2B Marketing | Kellogg Alum
How to Get Out of Your Own Way
Ever find yourself stuck in a cycle of avoidance, putting off tasks you know you should be doing? You're not alone. I've crafted this guide because I am, admittedly, a Master of Avoidance myself. For instance, if my husband isn't traveling and the house is spotless, it's a sure sign I'm dodging something important—often, that something is writing. And if we're being honest here, when it comes to cleaning, making the bed daily is about the extent of my domestic prowess.
I Was Avoiding What I Needed to Do
Despite my love for being on stage and giving talks, I have a serious aversion to being on video. It took me months just to start practicing, and another month to produce something I was willing to share with the world. I knew that to improve my speaking skills and expand my reach, I needed to embrace video. Getting good means putting myself out there, even while I'm still mediocre. The more I publish, the better I'll become through iterative improvements—better editing, increased comfort on camera, and so on. Earlier this week, I finally published two videos on TikTok .
It wasn't easy. It took a series of deliberate brain-hacks to push past my own barriers. Here's how I managed to get out of my own way:
1. Work on Your Internal Dialogue
One of the first steps I took was to tackle the negative chatter in my mind. My internal dialogue was a constant loop of "I don't want to do this" and "I'm only doing this because I have to." To combat this, I began journaling daily about how excited I was to be on video. I wrote affirmations like, "I get to speak on camera," and "Videoing myself is outside of my wheelhouse, and it's giving me growth." By consistently feeding myself positive messages, I started to shift my mindset.
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Changing your internal dialogue is a powerful tool. Our thoughts have a profound impact on our actions. By reframing the way I spoke to myself, I began to see video not as a dreaded task but as an exciting opportunity for personal growth. Every time a negative thought surfaced, I consciously replaced it with a positive one. Over time, these affirmations started to feel genuine, and my resistance diminished. It's amazing how much lighter a task feels when you're approaching it with enthusiasm rather than dread.
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2. Invest Financially
Perhaps this is unique to me, but spending money on something motivates me to use it. If I pay for a gym membership, I'm going to that gym. If I buy an expensive outfit, I calculate the cost per wear and make sure I get my money's worth. So, I bought myself an expensive vlogging camera. Realistically, a selfie stick would have sufficed, but it wouldn't have created the same sense of commitment.
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There's a psychological concept known as the "pain of paying," which suggests that we feel a certain level of discomfort when parting with our hard-earned money. This discomfort can serve as a motivator to ensure that the money isn't wasted. By investing in a high-quality camera, I created a financial incentive to follow through with my video projects. I didn't want that camera to become an expensive paperweight.
Making a financial investment signals to yourself that you're serious about your goals. It's not just about the equipment; it's about the commitment. The act of purchasing the camera was a declaration—I was investing in myself and my aspirations.
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3. Find an Accountability Partner
I'm part of an accountability group, and I committed to publishing my first video before our next meeting. Setting a deadline and sharing it with others added a layer of responsibility. I didn't want to show up empty-handed and disappoint my coach and peers.
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Accountability partners or groups can be incredibly effective in helping you achieve your goals. When you declare your intentions to someone else, you're more likely to follow through. The social pressure—not wanting to let others down—can be a powerful motivator.
Additionally, accountability partners provide support, encouragement, and valuable feedback. They become invested in your success, and knowing that someone is expecting progress can push you to take action even when you don't feel like it.
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Bonus Tip: Embrace the Process
On a side note, I have newfound respect for anyone who creates video content to become an influencer or thought leader. It's significantly harder than I anticipated. Talking to a camera, without the immediate feedback and energy of a live audience, is a unique challenge. It's vulnerable and, at times, awkward. But embracing the discomfort is part of the growth process.
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Allow yourself to be a beginner. Recognize that the first few (or many) attempts might not meet your standards, and that's okay. Progress comes from practice, and perfection isn't the goal—growth is. By accepting that imperfection is part of the journey, you free yourself to experiment, learn, and improve.
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Brain-hacks Help
In the end, these brain-hacks helped me overcome my resistance and take the leap into video content creation. It wasn't easy, and I still have a long way to go, but the first steps are often the hardest. If you find yourself avoiding something you know you need to do, try working on your internal dialogue, make a financial commitment, and find an accountability partner. These strategies might just help you get out of your own way, too.
Remember, the journey of personal growth is ongoing. Be patient with yourself, stay committed, and don't be afraid to ask for support when you need it. You've got this!