Of Boys Meeting Girls Over Time

Recently, a friend shared a whimsical story about meeting his date at the beach. When he explained his reasoning, I couldn’t help but laugh and envision this piece. The humor lay in his intent—to see if the woman was “real,” as he believed the saltwater would wash away any trace of a “made-up” woman. The absurdity of it tickled me, but it also nudged me into a reflective journey through time and culture.

I was reminded of stories I’d read about enlightened parents, 20 years ago, who dared to break the mold by allowing their children to entertain their dates at home. Their reasoning? Safety. They wanted to nurture relationships in an environment they could control. But that was not the world I grew up in.

In my culture, dating was fraught with challenges, especially for young men. A boy hoping to court a man’s daughter often found himself contending with formidable gatekeepers: the family dog, the father’s shotgun, the literal gate, or her fiercely protective brothers. The message was clear—he wasn’t welcome.

For young women, the stakes were even higher. I’ve met grown women who bear physical scars from their youth—reminders of beatings they received for something as innocent as holding a boy’s hand on their way home from school. Some women remain childless because parents chased away every potential suitor. Others managed to sneak in moments of rebellion, only to face harsh consequences: teenage pregnancy, the beating of a lifetime, or even being thrown out of their homes for "TEKING MAN." For some, that fleeting act of defiance led to the only child they would ever have.

Every woman has a story. Each tale carries its weight of joy, pain, or defiance, much like the images depicted in a photo or the emotions captured in narration. These stories shape us, connecting generations through shared struggles and triumphs.

And so, while I laughed at my friend’s beachside logic, it also made me think. The beach might wash away makeup, but it cannot erase the cultural imprints on our lives. Beneath the humor lies a deep reflection on identity, freedom, and the ever-changing dance of love and tradition. Still, as we hear about young people's deaths from Internet meetups, one wonders if parents of old had wisdoms we must embrace.