Boundaries...Tell Me More!

When we begin to seriously think about our own mental health and self-care the word, ‘boundaries’ comes up. What are boundaries and why are they important.?

Let’s talk about it….

BOUNDARIES DEFINED…

The definition of?boundaries means?anything that marks a border. It’s a real or imagined line that marks the edge or limit of something or the limit of a subject, principle, or relationship.?Boundaries set guidelines that create space for the acceptable ways we encounter others.??

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When we have had painful moments and/or relationships in our lives it becomes difficult to know how to set reasonable boundaries.??

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Healthy boundaries are necessary components for self-care.?Without them, we often feel taken advantage of, taken for granted, or intruded upon.?It leads to resentment, hurt, anger, and burnout.?

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Let’s look at some different types of boundaries. We will categorize them into 3 different types.?Where do you find yourself??

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HEALTHY BOUNDARIES

Healthy:?You have healthy boundaries if you:

• Have high self-esteem and self-respect
• Share personal information gradually
• Are being assertive.?Confidently and truthfully say YES or NO and be OK when others say NO to you
• Separate your needs, thoughts, feeling, and desires from others.?Recognize your differences with others, you can have different thoughts, needs, and desires.?
• value your own opinion
• don’t compromise your values for other people

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UNHEALTHY BOUNDARIES:?

Rigid:?You have rigid boundaries if you:

• avoid intimacy and close relationships
• usually don’t ask for help
• have few close relationships
• may seem detached
• Have a desire to control your environment at all times
• Feel lonely but also distance yourself to avoid rejection

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Porous:?You have porous boundaries if you:

• over-share personal information
• have difficulty saying no to the requests of others
• get over-involved with other’s problems
• tolerate abuse or disrespect
• Base how you feel about yourself on how others treat you.?
• Allow others to make decisions for you; consequently, you feel powerless

As you begin to adjust, grow in your self-esteem and self-care, setting boundaries isn’t always comfortable with everyone in your life.?You may get push back as you communicate your needs more clearly.?This doesn’t mean it’s bad, it’s just changing for everyone.?Continue to be clear about what you need and want.???

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So where did you find yourself??Comment below and share your findings.??

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I would love to talk with you and support you on your journey.?Let’s talk!

Use this link to pick a time that works for you and we will make it happen!?

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Until next time!

Hugs Abundantly

Donna