The “boundaries” entry

Happy Sunday everyone???

It’s day 5 but officially, happy new month.

How was your week?

Mine was grace filled.

This week I learnt about a very interesting town called Baarle.?

This town is in two countries; Belgium and the Netherlands. It’s a small town but the border of both countries cuts through it.?

The people that live on the Dutch side pay taxes to Netherland and the people on the Belgian side pay taxes to Belgium.?

There are certain houses that are on the dividing line. These houses pay taxes to both governments based in the square meter their house occupies in each country.

Baarle has been added to my travel bucket list. This is definitely the most interesting thing I learnt this week, I just had to share it with you. I hope you find it interesting as well.

This past week I made and remade decisions as I planned the month. One thing that I have decided to add to my list of priorities this year is boundaries.

For context, I am a very understanding person. I believe that this is my greatest strength & weakness as a person. Don’t get me wrong, it’s good to be an understanding and graceful person. But too much of anything is not good.?

It’s easy for me to be understanding because I am open minded and always willing to learn. I guess it’s a “follow come” quality. No matter how a person acts or behaves, I don’t hold it against them.?

I believe that we all came into the world as good people. However, our experiences have brought us to where we are today.

That bully that you hate so much probably got bullied too growing up. By their parents, fellow students, etc.

With this in mind, it’s very easy for me to forgive and let go.?

I can’t explain it, I just always understand.?

I could meet a mean person in public and my brain immediately goes to the fact that they might be having a bad day. So instead of replying angrily I try my best to be calm and they calm down as well.?

This is also a reason I can’t hate people. I don’t believe it’s possible to hate a person. Rather, I hate specific characters. For example, I hate the character of lying in anyone. I believe that one character is not the entire person and I always look for the best in people.

All these sound amazing right? So “what’s the problem?” you might be wondering.?

The problem is I tend to understand people above myself. For a long time I have believed that understanding people meant giving them tons of chances that always led to me being hurt.?

It’s like someone having water in a bucket and needing to pour it away. They decide to pour it on a particular path and that’s the path that I take. Now, everytime I pass, the person pours water on me. My brain understands immediately, “oh the person needs to get rid of the water, it’s not their fault”. So I keep passing everyday. Everyday water is poured on me, and everyday I understand.

It’s that bad.?

Creating boundaries this week made me learn that I can simply pass another path. Yes, I understand that you have water to pour and it’s not your fault, but I don’t have to be there when you pour it?? ♀?

I hope this analogy is working because it’s the only example in my head right now.?

I have seen people get hurt so many times that they decide to be mean themselves and lose sympathy for others. Although I understand why that would be the next option, I have decided to not lose my sense of empathy.

I have realized that I can set boundaries while still being understanding and graceful.?

Some people will never change and that’s the sad truth. I’m learning to be graceful towards them and also protect my peace. If someone hurts me, I’m learning to understand so I can forgive easily, while making sure it doesn’t happen again.?

It’s not going to be easy. Growth never is. But I’ll keep working with the Holy Spirit to give the grace that I have been given.?

Hopefully, one day, I’ll say that I have it mastered.?

I hope we can all learn to love others without disrespecting ourselves.

Have an amazing week!

See you next Sunday!

Your trusty growth partner,

Dee?