Boundaries Are Beautiful

Last week, I was heading to a Packer game with a friend. She texted me, “Don’t drive up the driveway until I tell you—it’ll set the dogs off.” Simple, right? That small boundary made her life easier and actually gave me a chance to stop at Kwik Trip for some snacks. Win-win. But the real kicker? She told me how rare it is for people to respect her boundaries without turning it into a thing. That’s wild to me. It’s a driveway, not an existential debate.

Here’s where people mess it up. Boundaries are about you. Expectations are about what you think others should do. Huge difference. Take the holidays, for instance. We all have that one relative who wants to shove their politics, religion, or sports opinions down everyone’s throats. Instead of engaging, you can say, “I’m choosing not to have this conversation.” Then, you do the magical thing I talk about often: shut the fuck up. No explanations. No debates. Just your choice, laid out plain and simple.

When you set boundaries like this, the conflict is no longer about you versus them. It’s about their inability to respect your boundary. You’re not the problem. The problem is the problem.

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