Bouncing back in life

I believe that most of us have faced some traumatic events in life, could be the financial ruin, having the homes taken away from us, dealing with the death of someone we love. Those time in our life when we couldn’t get out of bed. All we could feel was the hopelessness and despair.

And sometimes we wonder if we’ll ever come out alive. The answer is yes! It is possible to bounce back from anything no matter how bad. If we can search inside and dig out a grain of hope that it could get better, that we want things to improve, then we’re in the right path.

The first step is to tell the story out loud, be heard by someone. Because this will enable us to let it go; to experience the feedback and move forward. People with stories of abuse often bottle up their violations and internalize them, which affects their beliefs and how they perceive the world.

As human being, we all have our weak moments, even though we all know that it is the right thing to look forward into the future, we tend to get stuck in reliving the event or expecting more of the same to come. For example, take a relationship break-up, when a break up has been unwanted, many women go into the states of panic and overwhelm themselves with unhelpful affirmations such as, ‘I’m unlovable’, ‘there’s something wrong with me’ or ‘this always happens to me’ or ‘I can’t cope’. We got to fight with this panic state by engaging in nurturing activities, such as discussing your feelings with a friend or therapist, having a massage or hair appointment, pampering yourself. If there’s no chance of reconciliation, this is the perfect opportunity to gain clarity on what you want from future relationships. This could also be a good opportunity to invest in your relationship with yourself.

Another important point to remind us when relationship comes to an end is that our memories often lie to us and convince us that everything was totally great back then, even though it wasn’t.

Live is for living, I have experienced the period of lost and hopelessness too. But If I don’t pick myself up, who will do it for me. Feeling empowered and uplifted is a feeling we all can claim. We just have to be willing to start? The question is – are we willing??

I love to read about well-known people who have encountered trauma or hardship, and are now doing positive things in the world. For instance, Oprah Winfrey, Bethany Hamilton, Tony Robbins all have experienced traumatic events and are now wildly successful and have a practice of giving back.

I have interviewed so many people who have lost a confidence at work or in their career. The fact is there could be numerous factors that influence our ability to excel at work, such as relationships, health, and our home life. However, if, what we feel is not something we can clearly identify, loss of confidence can be a wake-up call that it is time to make a switch. Ask yourself, if your career is fulfilling. Does it give you a sense of purpose? If not, what does? What’s the one thing that people thank you the most for or people come to you for, which is so ingrained in you that it doesn’t even feel it deserves attention? Start there and watch exciting prospects unfold.

When we experience some sort of low mood disorder, we often want to retreat in our own bubble. We must force ourselves to spend time outdoors and stay connected each day, even if only with a few selected people. Go see the therapist or psychiatrist if needed because confronting depression is like going into battle. I will write more on this topic later. 

Just please remind yourself that when life is tough, we must be even kinder to ourselves. 

When we have to face a harsh criticism against our personality or abilities, it can feel like a blow. It’s important not to let that one negative person derail us. And it’s useful to begin a swipe file of all the good things in our life, which we can come back to when we’re feeling insecure. Remember, only constructive feedback from people who count in our life is worth listening to.

“People who soar are those who refuse to sit back, sigh and wish things would change. They neither complain of their lot nor passively dream of some distant ship coming in. Rather, they visualize in their minds that they are not quitters, they will not allow life’s circumstances to push them down and hold them under” Charles Swindoll