Bouncing Back from the Great Resignation (And Other Big Pandemic Life Changes)

In the past few weeks, I've noticed an interesting pattern. I've found myself talking with more and more folks who took a big leap of faith during the COVID-19 pandemic. They changed jobs, companies, or industries. They moved to another city. They went back to school. Or, they made some other major life pivot. They all reported that it felt great at the time to make such a huge change. It felt especially gratifying during a time when so many other aspects of life felt out of control. They had been feeling trapped, took the wheel, made a big change, and it felt great -- until suddenly, it didn't.

If you're in that group of people who made a major life change during the pandemic, and now find yourself struggling with the aftermath of that decision, the following advice is dedicated to you.

1. Applaud yourself for your bravery. Not everyone has the fortitude and will power to take risks and make big changes in times of so much uncertainty. Take a moment to congratulate yourself. Remember that whatever change you made, it took confidence in yourself and a true commitment to bettering your life. That shows strength of character that you can be proud of. Focus on what made you lean toward that new vision for your life, versus thinking about what you left behind. Harness that energy and take a moment to pat yourself on the back for doing something so tough.
2. Acknowledge that what you did was hard. Making a bold and brave move while the world is facing a pandemic doesn't come without battle scars. Chances are, you ran into some new challenges and faced a lot of uncertainty with whether you made the right decision for your career and your life. Take a moment to reflect on the fact that yes, this change was difficult, and hey, you survived it. While it might have been hard, sometimes the best paths to take for growth and momentum in your life are not the easiest ones.
3. Grieve your losses but look for the gains. Perhaps you left a safe and comfortable job where you felt competent for one that would stretch you, at times beyond your self-perceived limits. Or, perhaps you departed from a team, boss, or company you really loved only to join one that didn't turn out to be as great as you'd hoped. Sure, you might have lost some things, but you've surely gained something too. If nothing else, you've gained experience, insight, and a better understanding of what you value. This is a net positive that you'll carry forward into your future.
4. Stop doubting yourself. Maybe you feel that you haven't proven yourself yet in your new role or suspect that others are skeptical of you. Or, you might be struggling with Imposter Syndrome, thinking things like, "They've got the wrong person for the job, they shouldn't have hired me." Perhaps you've even gone so far as to tell yourself things like, "I'll never feel as competent as I did before," or "I'll never earn at my prior level ever again." Guess what. If you're thinking these things, you're a normal person! Most people face this kind of self-doubt. But I'm here to tell you that many other people believe in you and have given you their vote of confidence. You just have to give yourself the same vote. Know that you're capable, and if others deserve this opportunity, so do you! If you need help building back your confidence, ask some friends and trusted former colleagues to help you identify some things you're good at. You'll be amazed by how much feedback they'll share, and what superpowers they can spot that you might not even recognize in yourself.
5. Embrace the zig-zag. Maybe you feel like you're at a dip in your career or life, and that things will never go back up to where they once were. In reality, you're likely to rebound and move up even higher. Reflect back on other tough times you've had and how you bounced back from those. A career is usually a zig-zag, not a straight line from Point A to Point B. So maybe you're at the bottom of a zig. Now focus on the zag that will pull you forward to the next phase. The important thing is to zoom out, and remember that this is a single moment in time. It's not the all-defining period of your life you might think it is. There's more to your life and career than this singular juncture. Your next phase is just ahead, waiting for you to discover it.
6. Look backward with gratitude and forward with curiosity. After you've processed what you had to say goodbye to, look back on the past with gratitude. Even if there aren't many of them, think about the things you do want to remember, not the things you might have been fleeing from. Choose to be grateful for those things, no matter how small they might seem. This will enable you to look forward with an attitude of curiosity, hope, and optimism. If hope and optimism feel too much of a stretch for you right now, choose curiosity. It will help you keep an open mind to new opportunities awaiting you just around the corner!
7. Focus on what you can control. When you feel overwhelmed by all the things you can't control, focus on the things (however small) that you can. You control what you do every day, the words you choose to describe your situation, your perception of yourself. You control your actions on a daily basis. We are primed as humans to focus on dangers, threats, and all things negative. It's a self-protection mechanism and naturally, we go on the defensive. It takes a concerted effort to choose not to focus on those things. You're here to do more than just protect or defend your life. You're here to advance it and develop it. Remember, if you made a hard choice and a big change recently, that's proof that you've got this muscle. Summon that feeling, flex it again, and remind yourself you actually can control a lot in your life.
8. Remember that you have choices. If you're struggling or feeling trapped in a new situation, heighten your awareness of your choices, so that you're more intentional about making them. If you're feeling regret over choices you've made in the past, acknowledge that it was within your control to make that choice. Play out other choices and ask yourself if you would regret those too. Usually, you'll be happy that you took the road you took, because there is no certainty that the other choice would have yielded great results either! This can help you be at peace with your past decisions. More importantly, it can make you feel more empowered to make new ones and focus on your future.

Lastly, know that you're not alone. On the contrary, you're in the company of so, so many! As a result of the pandemic, we've been witnessing the Great Resignation, the widespread embracing of remote work and the relocations that stem from it, and the increased stress levels and caregiving responsibilities so many have faced. All this change has been sudden, and in many cases, painful to endure.

What this means is that countless people, much like you, have been through a lot, and are now taking a hard look at where things landed and questioning how they got there. They are realizing that the dust has settled on big, life-changing decisions made during the pandemic. Sometimes, the fast and furious pace of adjusting to a new situation doesn't even give us time to even process the changes we've made or what we've been through. But it's important to do so, in order to keep moving forward in your new reality.

With that, I hope these reminders prove helpful to anyone who might need them in my network, or possibly with someone who is struggling in yours. The world is still in an unpredictable state with a fast pace of change, and the dust is still settling for many folks out there. If you have made major life-changing decisions yourself during the pandemic, and have advice to share, I look forward to learning from it too.