On This Boss's Day

Today is Boss's Day. In a world where many employees feel underappreciated or mistreated by their supervisors, celebrating bosses might seem tone deaf, even absurd. TikTok is littered with bad boss horror stories. Not all bosses are reviled, but tales of exceptional bosses are scarce. Yet, we can learn much from these rare examples.

I know a manager (we'll call him Marco) who was so well-loved by his employees, he received gushing messages of appreciation on Boss's Day a few years ago. Here are excerpts from the cards and emails he received:

"Thanks for being such an inspiring supervisor." -Employee A

"Thank you so much for your great coaching and guidance. You are a wonderful "super boss." -Employee B

"I want to thank you for sticking with me through all my downs and yes my ups too, you have been a great manager and advisor, I really appreciate your straight forwardness and concern. We go through life and meet very special people for reasons we don't know at the time, but meeting you and working with you has been a very special experience for me, I believe I am a better person just by knowing you." -Employee C

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I think we can all agree these are lovely sentiments. But here's the kicker: Each of these employees had been written up by Marco in the past two years and one was still on a performance improvement plan.

Employee A struggled with deadlines and communication, Employee B couldn't kick-start projects, and Employee C made so many mistakes that her coworkers had to double-check her work.

For each employee, Marco followed HR's process for performance improvement: He documented their low performance, created a performance improvement plan, and promised to coach them for success.

The more jaded of us would recognize this process as nothing more than theater to establish a paper trail that protects the organization from unlawful termination lawsuits.

But not Marco. He followed HR's discipline process to a T, committing himself to the employee's development. Instead of setting traps for them to fail, he actually coached them for success. He delved into the root causes of their challenges and partnered with them to find tailored solutions.

For Employee A, it was about honing organizational skills; for Employee B, prioritizing her health with a leave of absence; for Employee C, leveraging strengths and neutralizing weaknesses.

Less "gotcha" and more "I got you."

The results were remarkable. Within a year, each employee transformed from struggling to thriving, each one attributing their success to Marco's support and creative solutions. How many employees do you know who are thankful for being written up? Marco had three in 18 months.

In my work, I try to understand why there are so many bad bosses and so few Marcos. I've learned that there are a million ways to be a bad boss and only a handful of behaviors that make a good boss. And then I teach well-intentioned managers what Marco does intuitively:

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1) Balance COMPLEXITY. He challenges an employee in the just the way they like to be challenged and carefully titrates their workload so they don't get too overwhelmed or too bored.

2) Learn Their PURPOSE. He notices when an employee starts to de-prioritize their work and tries to understand why.

3) RESPECT Them. He discovers each employee's unique talents and values and tailors their work and workplace to match. He gives trust freely and makes room for autonomy.

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But what motivates Marco to be this way? It's simple: he genuinely cares. He sees beyond job titles and performance metrics, viewing his team as individuals with aspirations and struggles. For him, being a boss isn't about authority; it's about stewardship—a responsibility to nurture both the individual and the collective success of his team.

In Marco's words, "I don't believe in business-first or people-first. I believe for every problem there is a creative solution that meets the needs of the business AND the people."

This ethos is sorely lacking in many workplaces. We are brainwashed to accept that employee well-being is the responsibility of the employee. We are expected to treat workplace trauma with the Calm app. There is precious little conversation about how to prevent workplace-induced emotional damage in the first place.

I know a public library branch manager who has a staff of 25 employees with zero attrition in 3 years. I sarcastically asked her, "Is it because of the high salaries?"

Of course it's not. It's because of a workplace where employees feel loved and have work responsibilities that fit their talent and values.

So this Boss's Day, take a moment to reflect on your best boss. What did they do that your appreciated? Tell them about it. Then copy it. Together we will reclaim the workplace for humanity.

We can do this together at beteolearning.com