Boss vs Leader

By now, we’ve all see the image and cartoons of the difference between BOSS vs LEADER. This example is burned in my mind and I just can't shake it.

I'll never forget a speech I heard at my first corporate awards event at one company.  This was a top company that I literally was bouncing with excitement to get to attend the trip that I won/earned to attend free of charge, among about 1500 others across the nation (most who had to apparently pay for theirs), along with meeting our customer service center employees for the first time.  I was finally getting to meet those who I get so much help and support from on the phone; the ones who keep our customers happy; the ones who help answer all my questions without hesitation, those who are problem solvers for whom I was so thankful. We had break-out sessions with a mixture of Division Managers, Territory Managers, Relationship Managers (local sales) and top level corporate officers. I was in awe of this massive gathering of top notch people, the least earning easily over 80,000 annually, to millionaires in a short amount of time. I couldn't wait to learn even more about them!  I earn everything by doing work, by doing it right, by busting my tail and not coming home until I helped 1-2 new customers a day in some way bring value and acquiring their signatures as my new client/customer/merchant.  I just know these attendees have more to offer than me. They all must be amazing! They have tricks and tips to share. There must be something easier, a better way they've done it for consecutive years. I was wide eyed and ready to take notes. Who all can I hear so I learn to be better?  Then something happened. One DM rose to speak.  She stood in the center of the room with a very “loud, all eyes on me” voice you can never forget. She began saying how thankful she was for her boss and it became almost gushy, if you would, for a mere moment. (I’m not someone who sucks up, either. If I compliment, it’s genuine and not to be taken lightly, especially upper management. I feel your work’s get you where you’re going, get's you noticed, not kissing up).   I was enthralled, listening intently, hoping for that “thing”. What was the secret?  How did you get where you are?  Then after 10 seconds of being thankful and blessed with her job and almost romanticizing politically (not physically) over her boss, just almost squeezing out a fake tear, the wording immediately became “I was able to do this and I achieved that, and I saw that I did this and I made this happen and” (The scowl in my face had to be visible.  I was appalled and looked around the room of 250+ to see if anyone else was believing what was going on here.  This woman was supervisor of several RM (Sales level) teams that worked for TM’s territory managers).   The TMs reported to her.  Did the RM's not do all the work, bring in the business?  Aren't they the ones day in and out that put in the time and energy and make those numbers?   What about their hands-on level managers?   Who were they?   Did they not contribute, answering calls from RM's, helping them daily, training them?   This narcissistic speech would drag on for 10 plus minutes!   I looked around the room wondering who is on her team?   Are they just beside themselves?  Who are these poor people who have to listen to this and be her pawns?  If I here “I did” and “I deserve” one more time, I may stand up.  It was unbelievable and I literally had to control myself from not rising.   I later found some of her “team” who clearly were under her spell, physically almost ran to fill her plate for her at dinner, were scorned if it wasn’t perfect, ran to get her drinks as she demanded. (Never polite, never a request.)  I at first almost giggled thinking this had to be a joke, then just felt sorrow as this is actually how they live. That's exactly how she should be treating her team members, instead, by thanking them, by waiting on them. She should be letting them know how she appreciates them in some way.   If she would have led, and shown appreciation, as opposed to instilling threats of their job, fear and control, I can imagine how her numbers would have been doubled.  I had a very difficult time ever having to make contact with that supervisor through the years. I had zero level respect for her and respect is everything to me; both giving and receiving. Multiple calls we were on together, having to mute her speaking time so I could bite my tongue, and multiple events and I looked at her like she had to be kidding when she ordered me to do something a couple times. (Yes, it did take twice before she realized that I was not going to respond to her as I instead casually walked off, so it wasn't disrespecting the others around her).  I thought she was going to pass out. At all times, her team surrounded her instead of meeting others and being able to grow themselves, which was what I thought the reason behind this convention. They were required to be at her beckoned call. I'll do anything for anyone who asks. I'll create ways to show appreciation for those who support me. Knowing absolutely nothing about true structure of the company (I had only been here a few months and was on my own, without contact with an office, or co-workers) or the structure of the convention, I brought 15 Gifts for the 15 of my most helpful members at our service center this first time we met, something that was specific to them, with a thank you card of “why” for each.   They all acted like it was a huge shock; said that had never happened before.  I brought Peg her favorite color nail polish, as it chipped while she was on night shift phone call with me, helping a customer at 11pm one night, and I just caught a second of her mentioning it..... They said that no one shows gratitude like that.  I realize the calls that come in are never happy calls.  The calls are stressful, or prompted by a competitor spouting lies to key them up (in this industry), or highly irritable needing trouble shooting or requiring help and understand a statement or technical support.   These people (customer service) are the company backbone, if it's a good company.  They do what it takes to keep your clients happy and back your word so you can continue to brag on how your service is top notch because of them.  They are problem solvers. Why would you not appreciate them?   Later, upon return to daily work, I heard others in my same position making much less numbers (goals) than I did, calling into the service center.  They never asked how the person was.  They never checked on their family.  There was no pleasantry whatsoever, both men or women. They ordered them to do this and that without appreciation, only expectation and demands and right back off the phone.  Even very sharp, as if the random one on phone cue was who created the problem.  I met other RM’s and TM’s who thought they were “The Reason” the company existed.  They bring the money in. These people (customer service) work for them or they wouldn’t have jobs.  Again, it wasn’t everyone, but it was several.  Confidence vs Arrogance is a huge difference.  It’s also why I avoid interaction with many Sales roles in whatever company I’m working.  I refuse to be grouped with the bunch that have that mindset. It’s humiliating. I've worked both operations and sales sides of many companies.  I appreciate every single opportunity I’ve ever been given and I absorb everything I can from it.  If you aren’t growing, you are dying.  Learn, ask, grow.  Be a giver, be in contribution, be a servant.  Help others grow.   Most of all, treat others with respect.  I'm so thankful for the diversity I've experienced to learn how to properly be a good team member.  I have been blessed to work and achieve some great things, I'm not claiming to be a leader, but I know one thing, I’ll never accept any position as a “boss”. 

-         Jennifer Gilchrest

Heartland Payment Systems & Keller Wiliams Green Meadow 1/2018