Born to choose to cope!

Coping mechanism is common in every created being. We are inherently equipped to cope with our surroundings and adapt to the environment. If we don't it leads to extinction.

When I look back at my life and all the struggles I have been through, I can see that I had to do a lot of coping. Many of it came out of the wrong choices I had made. In fact I must say, all of it!

I found myself struggling mostly in the area of relationships. One of the main reason for my struggle that I see is because of my desire to see a perfect relationship. We grow up reading fairy tales and sweet fables which tells us stories of perfect love and a loving family. Just like anyone else it was my desire too to have a perfect life, a perfect partner! By now, everyone who has found a partner or who has seen life would agree with me that there is no thing as "perfect". Relationships are all about working it out together and about sacrifices. The same goes with life itself.

When I look back at my journey till now, what I see is that every wrong choice I made led me to a point of dead-end where I was left with no choice but to cope - No choice to work it out or to make sacrifices. Broken marriage or broken relation, everything made me stand before a shut door where I had to make the choice to cope with it. Oh! How I wish the door was open and it would be what I had desired it to be! But through it all, I can’t be thankful enough for all those shut doors without which I would have never been where I am today!

I would have loved that I never even went through those situations in the first place! But I did. We cannot avoid situations, we cannot avoid making choices. But we can choose what we do when we reach there.

When the doors are shut, move on! Dont stand there banging at the shut door to open. Life is filled with choices to make and paths to take. We cannot give up on everything and sit at one place just because it happened to be a dead end.

When we travel from one destination to another in a bus or a train, there will be many stops in between. We don’t get down at each stop and stay there. We need to reach the destination. Eat the food served in stations, enjoy the company of the co-travellers and keep moving.

Life is all about coping with situations we are in and moving ahead. There will be heart breaks, disappointments, offences, hurts, wounds, scars. But life ends when the next breath stops and not when doors shut! So, do not be disheartened because something didn’t work out, get back on track. You got more things to do and you can only do it when there is life in you.

One shut door is not the end of everything. It is the beginning of the next path. Cry if you need to, pray if you have to, bang the door till your hand hurts but don't stay there. Pull up your socks, pick up your bags, let the wounds heal, look at the scar and say I fought that battle the best I could. Now what's next! Let's go!

I love the bible verse “God works all things together for your good”. (Romans 8:28) It gives me hope that no matter how hard the door shut to my face, “I will see the goodness of God in the land of the living.” (Psalm 27:13)

Life is tough! But we are born with everything we need to face it.