Boozy work socials are incompatible with a healthy culture of inclusion and belonging

Let's talk about booze and what it has got to do with diversity, inclusion and belonging.

Today's news story about firms being advised to cut down on alcohol at work events to prevent harassment got me thinking about the topic of booze more widely and how it related to diversity, equity and inclusion. I think there's more to think about than just the propensity alcohol has to fuel harassment. (I also believe strongly that no one should be allowed to blame booze for their bad behaviour, nor should its use be used to blame victims of violence or harassment for what happened to them. Leaving that aside for now though...). As someone who’s been sober for over 20 years, I have a good perspective on what it’s like not being a drinker when almost every single event involving booze, when not being a drinker marks you out as different, untrustworthy or not part of the gang.?

The purpose of work social events is to help everyone bond, connect, relax, network and hopefully have fun while they're at it. Companies might also put on an event because they want to reward their employees or help them feel they matter beyond just their productivity.

Here's why I think alcohol is somewhere between unnecessary and deeply unhelpful for all of the above. For people to bond, connect and have fun, they need to feel safe. Alcohol does the exact opposite of creating safety. It creates uncertainty and an air of unpredictability; people under the influence can act out of character, and sometimes people act inappropriately or even illegally. I reckon the frequency and volume of microagressions and harassment will go up when you add booze to a work environment, which can only be destructive for culture, staff retention and reputation.

Work events that are centred around alcohol are ex-clusive not inclusive, and are more likely to create cliques that interrupt overall cohesion and undermine belonging. People who don't drink for religious or health reasons can't join in, or won't stay long. After most people have had a few drinks, they stop being interesting and it becomes impossible to connect authentically or have meaningful conversations. It becomes pointless and boring or even unsafe, and it does the opposite of making you feel closer to the people you work with at all.

Once I'd given up drinking, not only did I stop feeling part of the gang because I wasn't joining in anymore and stopped hearing about what was really going on at work, there was always the one or two people who wanted to grill me endlessly about why I wasn't drinking any more. Did I want to say 'because unhealed complex trauma from past abusive relationships led me to addictions to numb out, which almost killed me and now I'm trying to get well but it's none of your business so please leave me alone and stop trying to make me drink'? Absolutely not. I wasn't ready to share even 1% of it. I spent hours on the phone to my new non drinking buddies getting advice and guidance ahead of time about how to handle the intrusion, and making plausible escape plans that no one could quibble with. The run up to each work drinks/social event was anxiety making and time consuming as I figured out how to deal with it, which no doubt impacted my work performance negatively and made me feel detached from my colleagues.

Evening social events are ex-clusive for parents. Working mothers are most likely to be the ones working part-time or flexibly, and evening dos can be the hardest to make work. Not only does it cost more in childcare, your child(aren) might also not do their homework properly or at all, and then not get to bed on time, because it's not a parent putting them to bed. Then the next day becomes difficult too. Then there's the work impact of missing social events because you're with your children, missing out on networking and under the radar conversations that could leave you out of the loop. This can hurts your visibility and promotion potential, widening the career and financial gap mothers often experience.

So if it's bonding, inclusivity and networking that companies want, plan socials that are as inclusive for as many people as possible. Make them activity not booze focused, escape rooms, laser tag or bowling for example. Vary them between intellectual and physical events so that people with different levels of physical ability, personality types and interests can join in. Have them during the daytime more often than not to include those with caring restrictions or at least change up the time of day you hold them. Focus on the end goal, and leave alcohol to non-work events the vast majority of the time.

If your response to this is to say 'but it's exclusive to take alcohol away', or 'what's wrong with a few drinks, I don't have a problem with alcohol', I invite you to consider the influence of the alcohol industry's marketing on drinking related identity. Question whether alcohol really does equal sophistication, relaxation, happiness and bonding, and whether alcohol is necessary for any of those things. There is definitely a significant part of 'bro culture' that is tied up with drinking identity, and of course 'wine mom' and 'prosecco girl' identity too. More on this another time.

Here's the link to read about the CMI's advice to firms to reduce alcohol at work parties to reduce harassment. Alcohol does not cause harassment, to be crystal clear. https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-65468218

If you would like to book a zero pressure conversation about how I might help your organisation become a place of greater inclusion and belonging, email [email protected] to get the ball rolling. It would be a pleasure to learn more about what's going on in your company and to brainstorm some ideas together.

#diversityequityinclusion #diversity #motherhoodpenalty #genderbalance #inclusion #workevents #inclusiveleadership #fixthesystem