Boost Your Emotional Intelligence and Be a Leader (not a boss)

In the world of leadership, a palette is not confined to the realm of visual arts; it extends into the intricate artistry of human interaction. Here, emotional intelligence (EI) is the paintbrush that gives color and life to the concept of leadership—it's the essence that moves an individual from being a boss to becoming a leader who empathizes and inspires. The canvas is vast and complex, but with EI, every stroke can create connections that not only resonate but also motivate. It’s not just a theory. It’s a practice that has been life-changing for me and my fellow female leaders, particularly those who lead disruptive change... and chances are it has done the same for you.

Something to ponder

This 'decision interruption' is a subtle ripple that can redirect the course of our leadership journey. We’re all capable of this dance with our minds, where we transform our go-to internal limiting narratives into something bold, empathetic, and, dare I say, enlightening.

Changing our own minds about ourselves and how we move around the world may just be one of the hardest things adults can do in the name of progress.

What if we could hit 'pause' on our thinking just long enough to outsmart our own biases? Daniel Kahneman, a maven of understanding the human psyche, nudges us to do just that—throw a wrench in our autopilot mode and scrutinize the why behind our decisions. Our thoughts can be swift and automated, a mix of unconscious patterns and learned behaviors, which sometimes lead us off course. By interrupting this flow, we have the power to redirect our leadership trajectory and align it with our conscious values and goals.

This interruption is not a jarring halt but a gentle pause, a moment of introspection that can have life-changing implications, particularly for female leaders who navigate the complex terrains of disruptive change. It's a subtle ripple with the potential to reshape the waters of our leadership journey. If we seek to foster innovation and lead effectively, we need to be aware of the ladder we climb—the 'Ladder of Inference.' It's a tool that compels us to examine each rung of our thoughts before placing our weight upon it.

Stepping back, questioning our assumptions, and looking at the situation anew can transform our decision-making. And as this practice permeates our leadership, something extraordinary happens—our EI evolves. It becomes a refined instrument that harmonizes with the symphony of team dynamics, guiding us through the complexities of nurturing talent and fostering innovation.

Changing our own minds about ourselves and how we move around the world may just be one of the hardest things adults can do in the name of progress. It takes a dedication to mindful practice so that we can sculpt our leadership into a form that is bold, empathetic, and dare I say, enlightening. Every interaction becomes a brushstroke that adds to the collective masterpiece of our work environment, which is defined not by authority but by the authentic connections we build.

Practice makes progress

The steps to harness the benefits of decision interruption to enhance Emotional Intelligence means that we embark on a deliberate journey of self-improvement and awareness. I have used these eight steps with myself, my clients, and my teams to help explore how each of us can practice this transformational technique step by step:

1. Acknowledge the Pause: Embrace the concept of decision interruption. Recognize that taking a moment to reflect is not a sign of indecision but a strategic tool for clarity. Remember, this interruption is not a jarring halt but a gentle pause, a moment of introspection that can have life-changing implications, particularly for female leaders who navigate the complex terrains of disruptive change.
2. Understand the Ladder of Inference: Familiarize yourself with this influential model. Reflect on the fact that at each rung of the ladder, we have a choice—to accept our automatic thoughts or to challenge them. Be conscious of the ladder you climb, showing mindfulness in determining whether each thought deserves to bear your conviction.
3. Practice Mindfulness: Train yourself to be in the present moment. By doing so, you create the space required for decision interruption. Through mindfulness, you can better recognize the subtle ripple that has the potential to reshape the waters of our leadership journey.
4. Assess Your Assumptions: Before reacting, consider the facts at hand and differentiate them from your interpretations and preconceived beliefs. Stepping back, questioning our assumptions, and looking at the situation anew can transform our decision-making.
5. Seek Multiple Perspectives: As Carol Gilligan’s seminal work taught us: people with female leadership traits are relational in our decision-making. We can embrace that part of us by naturally encouraging open dialogue and considering various viewpoints as inputs (not prescriptions). By understanding different angles, you enrich your decision-making process and avoid the tunnel vision that often leads to biased conclusions.
6. Reflect and Reformulate: After considering various perspectives, reframe your understanding and approach the situation with a renewed idea, aligning closer to objective reality than subjective judgment.
7. Respond Rather Than React: Use the insights gained from this introspective process to formulate a measured response that reflects the sophistication of your EI, rather than a visceral reaction born out of unchecked emotions.
8. Cultivate Continual Growth: Recognize that each time you go through this process, you flex and strengthen your EI muscles. Just as with any skill, the more you practice decision interruption, the more adept you become at it.

Paint a new picture with a fresh new palette

In the grand artistry of leadership, the best leaders are those who recognize their own cognitive landscapes, traverse them with introspection, and wield their emotional intelligence with the finesse of a master painter. They transform fears and uncertainties into stepping stones of growth and influence, sketching an inspiring vision for others to follow—one introspective moment at a time.

As these steps become integrated into your leadership style, you'll notice a transformation. Your EI will evolve—it becomes a refined instrument that harmonizes with the symphony of team dynamics, guiding you through the complexities of nurturing talent and fostering innovation. When decision interruption becomes an intuitive part of your repertoire, you lead not only with intelligence and efficiency but with empathy and insight. This is the hallmark of exceptional leadership.