Boost Relationships & Biz with 3 Listening Hacks!

When you think of the word “salesperson,” what words come to mind? Smooth, slick, fast talker? Probably so.

In reality, according to survey after survey, the best salespeople are seldom the best talkers. They’re almost always the ones that people rate as the best listeners.

When you think about it, it makes sense. When you’ve encountered smooth, fast-talking salespeople, you were probably thinking about how you could get away from them. You felt pressured rather than understood.

By contrast, I’m sure there have been several occasions when you purchased something from salespeople because you were so deeply impressed by their listening. You might have even told other people about your encounter, saying, “That salesperson was so good. He really listened to me … or … She took the time to listen and answer all my questions. There was no pressure. She understood my concerns. So I’d recommend you talk to her when you’re in the market to buy something.”

That’s why I tell people,

“Good listeners are not only popular everywhere, but after a while, they're also quite intelligent.”

Likewise, I suspect you would like to be more popular and more intelligent, all of which comes from becoming a better listener. So here are a few tips for dramatically improving your listening, which will in turn dramatically improve your business success and relationship health.

? 1. Ask lots of questions and then LISTEN to their answers.

It’s not easy to shut up and listen. I know. I’ve been working on it for years.

Of course, people often ask me what they should be doing if they’re not talking. Start by asking more questions.

There are people, however, who are reluctant to ask questions. No one wants to give the impression of not knowing something.

That's sad, but it's also silly. Asking stupid questions is always better than correcting stupid mistakes.

So go out there and ask lots of questions. Don't be afraid. Don't worry about what other people think. Your success is more important than their approval. And your success will come in direct proportion to the number of questions you ask.

In fact, I’ve found that the most successful people ask lots of questions and then listen carefully to the answers that are given.

Try this for practice. Find people who are truly excellent at what they do. Tell them you respect their work and then ASK them if they would share one thing that has helped them be successful. I’ve done this with everyone from nationally known figures to humble unknowns and no one has ever turned me down. And every time I listened to them, I learned something and got better at something.

Terri Dammann of Delta Vacations learned that at my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program. She says,

“You taught me to look at listening and question-asking in a whole new way. I’m a very private person, so I thought your techniques would be difficult for me. But one day I decided to try your techniques. I shared some personal trials with my work team, asked them some Brave Questions, and listened to their responses. I can't believe the things people shared with me and our team has become stronger as a result.”

I will only be offering my Journey-to-the-Extraordinary program to the public one more time in 2024. It will be live and virtual, October 3-4, 2024, from 9 am to 6 pm Eastern Time (8 am CT, 7 am MT, 6 am PT).

And it will be filled with skills that will boost your own Peak Performance and more Thriving Relationships.

Click below for more information and to register.

? 2. Refrain from having to fill in all the silent spots with your talking.

You may be in a situation where someone comes to you for help. They may want you to talk and give them advice, but I’ve found that people almost always want me to LISTEN to them first.

There may be times when the other person is pouring out their troubles when a silent spot pops up in the conversation. Don’t think that you have to jump in with some of your own talking and deliver a brilliant solution. Just let the silence sink in for a moment while you continue to listen.

Withhold your suggestion until the other person explicitly says "Tell me what to do." Even then, pause for a moment, because more often than not, the other person will go right on talking. He or she will continue because they’re either fearful of your suggestion or don’t really want your suggestion. In fact, they may want nothing more than the chance to share their story and have you listen to it.

Of course, you may think that's easier said than done. You may think you have to do something, especially if the other person is really hurting. Not necessarily so.

The truth is, most of us are frightened by other people's tears. We want to rush in with our suggestion and say, "Don't cry. Don't cry." In reality, when we listen, when we allow another person to cry, we permit healing to take place.

One of my clients came to me for counseling after her sister had been killed in a car accident. For weeks all of her friends had been telling her what to do and how to feel, but it didn't help. My grieving client basically paid me for three sessions just to let her cry. After those three listening sessions, the woman was doing quite well and didn't need me anymore.

?3. Find out what the other person needs.

If you're going to connect with people, you've got to find out what they need. After all, people respond to their needs, not yours. I learned with the client I just mentioned above.

Frank Bettger learned that years ago. As a professional baseball player who had to leave the game because of an injury, he began to sell life insurance. It didn't go well. In fact, at age 29 he declared himself a miserable, debt-ridden failure.

Then as improbable as it sounds, he became so successful as a salesman that he was able to retire at age 41. He attributed his miraculous turnaround to an insight given to him by one of America's top sales professionals, J. Elliot Hall.

Hall told him how he had failed and was about to give up his selling career when he discovered the reason he was failing. He was spending too much time talking about the wonderful features and benefits of his product. And he was spending too little time asking prospective customers what they needed and listening to their answers.

Once he discovered that, Hall said he refocused his communication. From then on, his communication was aimed at finding out what other people needed.

The idea revolutionized Frank Bettger's career. He used to think of selling as a way of making a living -- for himself. He used to be afraid of calling on people because he feared they would see him as a nuisance.

But now, Frank was inspired. He saw himself as making a difference in the world. He was helping people figure out what they needed, and, if possible, he was helping them get it. All through the power of effective listening.

What about you? Are you focused on what you have to say? Or are you focused on and listening to what the other person needs? Your answer will make all the difference between success and failure in your world.

For a copy of Dr. Zimmerman’s latest book, The Champion Edge: Skill Sets That Fire Up Your Business and Life, go to https://www.businessexpertpress.com/books/the-champion-edge-skill-sets-that-fire-up-your-business-and-life/

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