Boost Employee Well-Being: The Power of Friendship and Dating as Mental Health Benefits

Over the past decade, companies have invested heavily in mental health services as an employee benefit. According to surveys of people managers, 94% expect mental health benefits to be an important part of total rewards this year, vs just 36% a year ago. There are many data driven and heuristic reasons for this, including a belief in increased productivity, reduced burnout, and overall satisfaction.

But if we want to get real about employee mental health, we need to consider benefits that will address the biggest psychological issues faced by most Americans: loneliness (and its cognate, relationship management). Improved friendships and romantic relationships decrease loneliness, increase happiness and lead to longer lifespans and lower metabolic disease. That’s why the surgeon general declared it a health crisis, akin to smoking 15 cigarettes per day .?

Here’s what employers can do to really move the needle.

FRIEND-FORWARD PROGRAMS

Working with a corporate friendship coach and program expert, smart employers can bring friend-forward design and content to their employee populations. In a nutshell, this means making the workplace more friendly to interpersonal connection both through cultural changes and direct programming. These might include redesigning the company’s mentorship program, launching friend-building activities, and creating incentives (or removing disincentives) for employees to hang out after work.?

CONFLICT RESOLUTION

Most corporate cultures strongly discourage open conflict between employees. Once disagreements reach the public level, they rely on HR or line managers to handle resolution. This is a broken strategy because:

1. Conflict is essential for good decision making.?
2. Discouraging conflict means people will just be upset privately, leading to lots of bad politicking behavior.?
3. The lack of friendships in the workplace and public experience with conflict resolution means it's harder for employees to understand how to confront each other.?
4. Weaponization of DEI makes some employees more “immune” to conflict than others.
5. Most managers are not trained in modern approaches to conflict resolution.

To get the most out of diverse experiences and viewpoints, companies need to have professional conflict resolution capabilities available. Some of this is about making a more transparent, friendly company culture, some of it is about training key people on how to handle disagreement, and some of it is about having conflict resolution consultants handy to get involved.?

When two employees disagree about something, the final business outcome should be decided by management, but the interpersonal outcome will be decided by how the conflict is ultimately resolved.?

DATING APPS

Companies are very comfortable subsidizing employee wellness apps, especially those that offer mindfulness meditation, fitness or health tracking. But given the importance of relationships to people’s health, is there a case for companies to pay for premium dating subscriptions for single employees?

25% of all marriages start as online connections today , and apps like Bumble, Tinder and Hinge account for the majority of those relationships. Stable relationships make people happier and reduce loneliness , while some studies suggest married people also work harder . Subscriptions to those apps are relatively cheap, and might offer outsized rewards for employers.?

n.b. Some of these apps even include friend finding features, though their efficacy in fostering non-romantic partners is less clear.?

IN CONCLUSION

Employee benefits should take relationship finding, building and maintaining into consideration. Investing in Friend Forward culture design is a relatively cheap and efficacious approach to improving well being and mental health, and something employees will value. Start by redesigning cultural elements to foster friendship, make conflict resolution available broadly, and invest resources in relationship building across the board.?

When they’re hanging out on the weekend or walking down the aisle, they’ll thank you - and pay you back in kind.?

Gabe Zichermann is the leading expert on Friendship in the Workplace. His forthcoming book, Friend Forward: How to Leverage the Superpower of Friendship to Transform Our Lives & Workplaces (2025, CES), looks closely at how organizations, individuals and societies can foster friendship to improve our world. Gabe is a CEO, speaker and author who popularized the concept of Gamification, and has helped leaders in Fortune 500, government and startups create a more fun, engaged, equitable and successful world.

Reach out to me anytime to discuss Friend Forward Strategies in Your Workplace.

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