"Boomers" and Suppositories: A Tale of Prophecy
Upon hearing that one of her 3 grandchildren may have contracted a food borne illness, or the like, where keeping your food down is impossible, only one thing was for certain. This septuagenarian mother of 4 children all born at home in the 20’s and 30’s (2 of whom died before the age of 20) was born July 4th, 1900, lived through the depression, became a nurse and expectedly died at 92. She ate bacon, eggs, and pie, mowed her own lawn with a hand powered “grass-cutter” until she was 91, and never learned to drive a car.? This woman was my Grandmother. Among the many things for which she was well known was making the ill better, or even more impressive was not getting ill in the first place.? (If you’d like to know her tricks, I’ll be happy to tell you, just message me. It’s not magic, it’s science.) Her preferred procedure for this illness remedy was to stick a .40 caliber-sized suppository up your backside.? For non-boomers, a suppository is a 1-2 inch smooth conical-shaped object consisting of medication covered in a soft, inactive substance, anything from glycerin, to gelatin to undesirables like polyethylene glycols, that can be absorbed through the colon thereby circumventing the standard digestive route.
What is small to an adult is colossal to a 5 year old, and it did not give the recipient solace that this object was “easy” to administer with its lubricated exterior and its relatively innocuous size and shape.? Though at this young age you cannot expound on or even articulate the theory that this orifice is exit-only, somehow you know this instinctively and rebel decidedly and forthwith, in no uncertain terms.? Few times in my life was I as resistant to an authority figure as when they were attempting this stick anything “up there”.? I shudder as I write this.? And by the way, although my grandmother was the parent of “boomers” and not A boomer, that is now a generic term the kids today have decided to use for anyone who is 20 years older than themselves.? I’m okay with it, it’s kinda cute, plus some brat will be calling them boomers someday so it all works out.
Why are you sharing this, you might be wondering?? Because I, and maybe you, find it fascinating that? people knew before 2004 that the colon held abilities that they may not have fully understood, but they knew that “when you do this, that happens”.? Oh sure, since the invention of microscopes there’s been a passive investigation into the gut biome and all its magical goings-on, but people both in and outside the healthcare field knew that the other end of you, which we try not to think about, was the key to a still-unknown percentage of our overall health and well being.? It is only very recently that we have studies that tell us so much more about the gut-brain connection, that certain bacterias have specific health outcomes, and so on.? It’s a fad now, probiotics, gut biome, stool testing, yogurt-this-yogurt-that, fermented foods, f***ing avocados . . . sorry, they’re not a gut-biome food per say, I’m just sick of them. That’s right, I said it. ? But, before it became a fad, even Hippocrates knew in 1500 BC/BP/BCE (whatevs) that all of the answers to your health starts and ends (pun intended) with bacteria, good and bad bacteria.? How Hippocrates knew this is unclear; it could have been nothing more than empirical observation followed by a confident declaration of substantive knowledge - I mean it’s Hippocrates, why not.? And to the chagrin of us lay people who do not deal first-hand with our own poo (I could do this all day), the best way to find out what’s going on with your health is to collect your own.? Gross! But it must and should be done as a matter of practice and it is not.
Unless you specifically request a stool test, and you may have to pay for it, it’s not done along with other tests during a standard physical but worse, it’s not done during a visit where you are experiencing an uncharacteristic illness.? Unless your physician has become an independent, holistic-type entity where you pay a few thousand a year to be a member where you gain access to a bespoke healthcare experience, which most people do not, you may never have to collect your own “sample “.
I cannot answer why it’s not standard practice as I am not a health care or insurance professional, but you and everyone you know should be asking this question.? I encourage you to ask your doctor upon your next visit regardless of the reason for the visit.? If you’d like a healthier “outcome” (not even sorry) to this type of testing, I encourage you to be selective about what you put into your mouth; it’s a sacred and intimate place worthy of respect as are you.
Go forth and poo, test, learn.? And by the way, I don’t think my grandmother ever ate one single avocado!