A Boomer to Millennials: Lessons I've Learned, and Lessons I'd Offer

There's no question that the generation gap between baby boomers and millennials is dramatic. It includes a vast array of personal and professional differences that cannot be simply dismissed as so many boomers would like to do. I can't even count the number of conversations I've had with boomer colleagues who complain about millennials' "work ethic," and how difficult it is to manage them effectively.

In the Denver Business Journal, editor Rebecca Troyer said, "All too often, millennials get a bad rap in popular culture, in business dealings, and yes, in the workplace. The mere word can produce an eye-roll or a disdainful tone among senior executives who believe them to be “high-maintenance” or otherwise difficult to manage.

It’s true, as HR professionals know all too well, that these young professionals change jobs with greater frequency than baby boomers or Gen Xers. And a real head-scratcher for many baby boomers: As important as a healthy paycheck is to them, millennials also want to know that the work they are doing has an impact, that the companies they work for are socially responsible, and that the culture in the workplace is positive as well as flexible. And they also want to know that there is opportunity to grow and advance."

According to The Job Network, here are seven of the biggest stereotypes, and why you shouldn’t believe them:

Myth #1: Millennials are all “me, me, me,” all the time.

Reality: Every generation is all “me, me, me.” It’s just human nature. Every older generation thinks the new one is selfish and self-obsessed. If you’re feeling picked on, you’re not alone. The Baby Boomers were the original “me” generation, and there’ll be more after you. Maybe you’ll even be the one doing the nagging when you’re higher up in the career ranks.

Myth #2: Millennials want a party and ribbon just for showing up.

Reality: Millennials don’t actually crave constant unearned acclaim. In fact, as kids, they may have been trained for this by their helicopter parents, but they’re grown-ups now and want to earn their accolades like everyone else. Trust: It’s really the Baby Boomers who think all members should be rewarded when the team is successful. Millennials are pretty cutthroat and competitive about winning fair and square.

Myth #3: Millennials are tech-obsessed and can’t live a life offline.

Reality: Yes, millennials are strapped to their devices as though their phones are vital limbs. But they are also capable, and even eager, for face-to-face interaction when that makes the most sense (i.e. in the workplace). And they’re actually more likely to draw a line between personal and professional on social media than older generations.

Myth #4: Millennials are wafflers.

Reality: Everyone solicits advice and gets friends, colleagues, and family to weigh in on important decisions. Millennials perhaps look to a larger variety of sources to make more informed decisions than their more independent-minded elders. This is actually a shrewd move, especially in today’s increasingly interconnected and complex business world.

Myth #5: Millennials aren’t loyal and will jump ship whenever they lose interest.

Reality: While “passion” is certainly important to this generation, millennials actually stay with their employers longer than their Gen X counterparts. The market is scarier and leaner out there, so they know when to stay put and be more calculating with their career moves. Perhaps they will have held more jobs by a certain age than other generations, but that has more to do with the cutthroat economy and less to do with laziness or wanderlust.

Myth #6: Millennials don’t work hard.

Reality: The skill set of this century is already markedly different than the skill set of the old one. Workplaces, and workplace culture, look nothing like they used to. As such, making comparisons between them is fruitless. Given the demands of today’s high-tech interconnected workforce, millennials are actually working very hard and innovating at an exponential rate. They’re also a little more competitive than Baby Boomers, which goes hand-in-hand with hard work, hustle, and long hours.

Myth #7: Millennials need work to babysit them.

Reality: Millennials are actually quite capable of taking care of themselves. Corporations don’t have to talk down to them or treat them like children. Also, with the ever-changing structure of the workforce, millennials have a choice to work for corporations or for themselves in today’s economy. Corporations would do well to realize they need millennials more than millennials need them!

As a boomer who has managed several millennials, and as a parent of one as well, I must reluctantly admit the very real truth of these stereotypes. My bad.

So what's a boomer to do? Refusing to accept the differences, or attempt to understand what motivates millennials, is not an option - they're indispensable. Millennials will make up more than 50% of the workforce in the years to come.

I believe that boomers and millennials have much to learn from one another and that it benefits both groups to embrace their differences and take advantage of what they each have to offer. Some of the lessons I've learned from millennials include:

1. Digital Aptitude: Millennials are the first generation to be raised with online media. As young adults, these digital natives quickly adopt new technologies, then adapt them to fit their lifestyles. If something that suits them better comes along, they are quick to move on. Case in point: A millennial staffer showed me a full three years before it was the norm why social media was important to our organization, and then showed me how to set up our Facebook and Twitter accounts. Because of this, we were way out in front on the medium nationally in the industry. And my millennial daughter has taught me many lessons about how to effectively market a business as I watch her use apps to shop online and check-in with her pizza maker on the progress he's making on her pizza in real-time. Cool stuff.

2. Workplace Development: According to PwC's Millennials at Work survey, this generation is committed to their personal learning and development and this remains their first choice benefit from employers. In second place they want flexible working hours. Cash bonuses come in at a surprising third place.

This is my experience as well, and any manager should be thrilled with team members who contribute in this way as it serves the best interests of the organization.

3. Continuous Feedback: The PwC survey also indicates that one of the strongest millennial traits is that they welcome and expect detailed, regular feedback and praise for a job well done – 51% of those questioned said feedback should be given very frequently or continually on the job and only 1% said feedback was not important to them. The companies that are most successful at managing millennials are those that understand the importance of setting clear targets and providing regular and structured feedback.

I wholeheartedly agree with this approach as I remember a long-ago incident in which I was called to task during my annual review for something I had done a full nine months prior. To this day I remember being mortified that I was not told at the time so I could change my behavior immediately. Ever since then I have tried to bring issues to the attention of my staff as they happen so they have the opportunity that I did not.

So millennials do have some great lessons for boomers, but there are also some things that they can do to combat these stereotypes:

1. Lack of Loyalty: Although perhaps not "job hoppers," there is an increased frequency in the number of jobs millennials take which can elevate the level of distrust by their boomer employers about loyalty to the organization. Companies invest significant resources in hiring and training them, and are hoping for their strong performers to continue with the company to maximize this investment.

2. TMI - Total Transparency: There is a lack of awareness around privacy issues with many millennials. We have all heard about issues (and seen the lawsuits) relating to the practice of millennials posting inappropriate information on social media sites. This can be in the form of posting inappropriate personal information on their social media pages that are open to the public or posting personal views when acting on behalf of their employer. These types of activities can not only cause embarrassment and PR problems but can actually cost the company money. It's understood that millennials have never known anything else but online transparency, but with responsibility must come an understanding of appropriate uses and how too much information can negatively affect a company's brand.

3. Personal Relationships: Because they have been born and raised on technology, communication by millennials via this medium is standard and preferred. Notre Dame of Maryland University outlines their preferences, but given the work environment and preferences of their bosses, this can be costly for millennials:

"A study of millennials by BankMyCell found the majority of respondents didn’t answer phone calls because it was “time-consuming.” Similarly, in workplace settings, a survey by management consulting firm Korn Ferry found that millennials also often avoid face-to-face interactions, instead preferring to use online messaging software (55 percent) or e-mail (28 percent) to communicate with bosses or co-workers."

So, the ability to connect with people on a personal level and build social aptitude is even more important today as it is now a differentiator for hiring managers. Millennials must learn how to communicate effectively both online and face-to-face in order to build professional relationships that are based on trust and credibility.

There's no question that millennials have a lot to offer the workplace, and engaging them should be top of mind for managers. As Ashira Prossack says in How to Make Your Workplace Millennial Friendly, "Millennials are forcing us to reevaluate workplace practices that have been in place for decades simply because that was the way things were done. Take the first step by implementing at least a few of these changes, and you’ll reap the benefits immediately."

That's a win-win for both boomers and millennials.