The Bookshop

I’m standing in a bookshop in Montpellier, France and I’m reaching for a book, when a wave of anxiety comes over me.

My heart tightens and I freeze.

As an optimist who’s not usually anxious about much, it’s a shock…but mostly it’s a shock because it’s the second time today that this has happened.

I’d woken up this morning before dawn… my mind racing in a panic. I hadn’t been able to get back to sleep.

But now, standing in the bookshop, I finally realise what’s going on.

I’m afraid.

For the past few months I’ve been working on plans for a new business… and suddenly I’m scared that it’s not going to work out.

I consider covering up how I’m feeling and just getting on with the rest of our family outing around the city.

But then I realise that I’m out of my depth.

I need to tell someone about this or I’m just going to have this fear stuck in my heart, dancing negative little loops and messing with my biochemistry.

So I carry my books downstairs, looking for my wife, Marine.

She’s in the queue at the cash register.

When she turns around and sees me the smile drops from her face.

She instantly recognises that there’s a problem.?

“What’s wrong?” she says.

For once I’m grateful that she always seems able to read my mind.

I tell her what’s going on.?

“I woke up early this morning and couldn’t get back to sleep” I say “I’m feeling really anxious.”

An empathetic look comes over her face.?

When Covid was just starting to spread its tentacles around the world, we took an early decision to close our international study abroad travel company, AIM Overseas.

At the time it was a successful, 13-year-old, multi-million-dollar turnover business.

There wasn’t yet a lockdown and borders were still open.

But Marine has an uncanny ability to see the future. Given limited information, she is instantly able to simplify complex issues into clear ideas.?

It’s infuriating.

Yet she correctly foresaw what was coming.

We moved so early to close the doors that friends and colleagues thought we were nuts.

But Marine’s ability and decisive decision making meant we were able to make a “clean getaway”: refunding the $600,000 deposits we were holding and paying our staff every dollar they were owed.

We outperformed almost the entire travel industry.

And with nothing holding us back, we’ve spent most of the past 2 years travelling with our young family – 18 months around Australia and now 6 months in Europe.?

As we’ve travelled we’ve had the luxury of time to reflect.?

There was plenty we loved about the study abroad travel business but it also had its headaches.

Our philosophy is to try to make the most out of every single day.

So we’ve taken the decision that we won’t reopen AIM Overseas when we get home.

Instead, we’ve decided that we’ll tackle new projects that will have an even greater positive impact in the world.

And it’s where my anxiety has welled up from this morning.

“I’m scared” I tell my wife.?

“What if we fail with the new business?”

I pause, building the courage to say what’s really on my mind.

?“We could just restart AIM Overseas… but in a scaled back way??

Marine looks at me a little shocked.

“You’re not serious, are you? You think we shouldn’t have gone travelling?”

The two years of extraordinary moments we’ve spent as a family travelling Australia and Europe flash through my mind: from campfires in the Australian outback and snorkelling on pristine reefs to eating fresh pizza in Italy.?

“No no, definitely not! We are certainly right to have done the travel!”

I continue “I mean: when we get home in a few months – why don’t we just restart AIM Overseas with a smaller team and the most profitable programs only? It would be safer. Easier.” I say.

Marine pauses and looks at me with her beautiful green and amber eyes.

“You mean, when we get back to Australia we should just go back and redo what we’ve already done before?”

“Yes” I reply, thinking about how much easier it would – there would be less financial pressure, less uncertainty. “Exactly” I say.

Her eyes fill with confusion.

“But where would be the fun in that?”

The world stops. I think I’ve stopped breathing.

Marine sees my reaction and tries to go on to explain.?

But I wave for her to stop: “No. That’s… perfect. There’s nothing else you need to say.”

In our lives we all experience moments where we recognise an absolute truth.

?For me this is one of those instants. It’s like magic – my worries evaporate and disappear amongst the shelves

Because I know that there will be hard days ahead. That there will be things we didn’t see coming, mistakes we’ll make.

But we’ll be following our own star and having fun doing it.

And in this one life we get, that’s about the best choice that one can make.

?

#travel #story #france

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