Books that shaped my perspective

I wanted to make a top 10, I ended up making a top 22. Is a top that influenced me, it is not a top of the best books I read.

Of course, if I were to recommend books, the context and why I recommend it would matter a lot, very likely that they will not be found in this top. For psychology professionals those from Treatments That Work - Oxford, are a good starting point, and in generally those from Oxford, Cambridge, APA or Guildford I find them pretty good. The books should not be chosen only by who publishes them, but in general it can show an average quality.

For AI I find things a little different. Unlike psychology, where authoritative texts and research-driven books are a cornerstone, AI often advances so quickly that courses, online documentation, and real project work are more beneficial. (I personally follow Parlance Labs, Jeremy Howard, etc.) I still love certain AI-related books, but my true learning has come through hands-on application.

Behave: The Biology of Humans at Our Best and Worst by Robert Sapolsky

It changed the way I think about people's behaviors. Actions don’t arise from a single cause but from a complex interplay of biology, environment, and circumstances. This understanding removes simplistic labels of "good" or "bad" behavior, encouraging empathy over judgment. Both kindness and cruelty stem from the same underlying biology, hormones, neurotransmitters, and brain structures. Recognizing the shared biological foundation of behavior reduces the impulse to assign blame or moral superiority. Instead of punishing or glorifying behavior, this perspective encourages exploring the "why" behind it.

I'm constantly reminding myself that behavior is rarely about just one cause, biology, environment, and context all mix together. It helps me pause before labeling someone’s actions as simply “good” or “bad” and instead ask, “What might be influencing this behavior?”

"The same biology that accounts for the most inspiring of human behaviors also accounts for the most horrific. And often, they occur at the same time."

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

The most powerful person faces the same internal battles we all do. True power lies not in controlling others but in mastering oneself. Regardless of external circumstances, whether emperor or ordinary citizen, our peace comes from our perspective and response to events, not the events themselves. Had a big impact on my thoughts and actions.

Returning to the stoic principle of focusing on what we can control, reactions, thoughts, and attitudes whenever we feel overwhelmed.

"The happiness of your life depends upon the quality of your thoughts: therefore, guard accordingly, and take care that you entertain no notions unsuitable to virtue and reasonable nature."

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor E. Frankl

Even in the most horrific circumstances, humans can find meaning that enables survival. Those who had a reason to live were most likely to survive challenges our modern obsession with pursuing happiness directly. Meaning comes from three sources - purposeful work, love for others, and our attitude toward unavoidable suffering.

Having a “why” to get through any “how.” It’s a check on whether I’m living in line with my values and purpose, especially when facing challenges.

"Those who have a 'why' to live can bear with almost any 'how'.

The Good Life by Robert Waldinger

Drawing from the Harvard Study of Adult Development’s 85+ years of data, Waldinger reveals that the strongest predictor of happiness and health isn't wealth, achievement, or genetics. It's the quality of our relationships. The research demolishes common assumptions about success and wellbeing, showing that warm connections protect both our bodies and minds.

Prioritize time with loved ones over chasing external markers of success, will have the strongest impact on wellbeing.

We seem to focus on things that don't matter so much...

"Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period."

Outlive: The Science and Art of Longevity by Peter Attia

He challenges the reactive, disease-focused approach of modern medicine, introducing instead the concept of "healthspan", not just living longer, but maintaining physical and cognitive performance throughout life. Many aspects of aging we consider inevitable are actually preventable through proactive interventions in exercise, nutrition, sleep, and emotional health.

Keep the mind and body performing well for as long as possible, instead of just living longer!

"The goal isn't just to live longer—it's to live better for longer."

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

Our minds operate in two distinct systems, system 1 (fast, intuitive, and emotional) and system 2 (slower, more deliberative, and logical). This framework, and more a metaphor, don't take it literally, explains why we often make irrational decisions and fall prey to predictable biases, even when we think we're being perfectly logical. Our fast-thinking system, while brilliant at quick reactions and pattern recognition, often leads us astray in modern contexts where slow, analytical thinking would serve us better.

"What you see is all there is" an insight into how our minds jump to conclusions based on limited information.

Free Will by Sam Harris

Our thoughts and actions arise from causes beyond our conscious control. Our feeling of being the conscious author of our thoughts and actions is an illusion, we don't choose our thoughts, they simply appear in consciousness. This understanding has profound implications for how we view moral responsibility, criminal justice, and personal identity. We don't choose the desires, beliefs, and neural events that lead to these decisions.

So much for free will ...

We often don’t control genetics, environment, and random mental events. It should fosters more empathy toward others and encourages me to be less judgmental when people behave irrationally. Another good book about this subject is Determined: A Science of Life without Free Will.

"You can do what you decide to do, but you cannot decide what you will decide to do."

Determined: A Science of Life Without Free Will by Robert Sapolsky

Sapolsky expands on the argument that our thoughts and actions are fully shaped by biology, environment, and circumstance, leaving no room for genuine “free will.” Drawing from neuroscience, behavioral biology, and psychology, he contends that even our most seemingly autonomous decisions arise from prior causes. Accepting this perspective, could lead us to more compassion and less moral judgment toward ourselves and others.

Each of us is a product of innumerable forces, genetic, cultural, social, beyond our conscious control. It tempers my tendency to blame or judge people too harshly, but sometimes I forget and I have to remind myself this.

“The deeper you look into the biology of the brain, the harder it is to find the place where free will might lurk.”

Enlightenment Now by Steven Pinker

Life has been steadily getting better for most of humanity, until 2 years ago, of course. Through extensive data analysis across multiple domains, health, prosperity, safety, peace, knowledge, Pinker demonstrates that life has been steadily getting better for most of humanity (i think sometimes he cherry picks). He argues that this progress isn't random but the result of Enlightenment values: reason, science, humanism, and progress. He dismantles our cognitive bias toward negativity, showing how major indicators of human wellbeing have improved dramatically.

"If you had to choose between living in a randomly selected time in the past or living today, you would want to live today."

We will see …

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

The success in both personal and professional life hinges not on technical skills, but on the ability to understand and connect with people. Genuine interest in others, coupled with the ability to see things from their perspective, is more powerful than any manipulative technique.

”You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you."

The Obstacle Is the Way by Ryan Holiday

Success doesn’t come from avoiding challenges but from embracing them as catalysts for transformation. It had some good examples of people who can go through difficult situations, especially Mali Wright and Jonathan J. Dunn.

"The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way."

Sapiens: A Brief History of Humankind by Yuval Noah Harari

Homo sapiens' real superpower isn't our individual intelligence, but our unique ability to create and believe in shared stories, myths, and institutions, from religions and nations to money and corporations. These "imagined orders" enable massive human cooperation beyond family groups, shaping everything from ancient empires to modern capitalism. Through this lens, humans have moved from being just another animal to becoming the planet's dominant force.

"The real difference between us and chimpanzees is the mysterious glue that enables millions of humans to cooperate effectively.”

Why We Sleep by Matthew Walker

Sleep isn't just a passive state or luxury, it's a complex, active process essential for everything from memory consolidation to emotional regulation, immune function, and longevity. Modern society's dismissal of sleep as "unproductive time" is causing a public health crisis, affecting everything from our learning ability to our risk of diseases like cancer and Alzheimer's.

After this book I got insomnia :)), which led me to practice CBT-I and solve other peoples insomnia.

"The shorter you sleep, the shorter your life span."

Flow: The Psychology of Optimal Experience by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

Our most fulfilling moments occur in a state he calls "flow", when we're so absorbed in a challenging but manageable task that time seems to disappear. This state isn't achieved through passive pleasure but through engagement in activities that balance our skills with the challenge at hand.

"The best moments in our lives are not the passive, receptive, relaxing times... the best moments usually occur when a person's body or mind is stretched to its limits in a voluntary effort to accomplish something difficult and worthwhile.”

Oxford Handbook of Culture and Psychology edited by Jaan Valsiner

Everything from perception and cognition to emotion and development exists within, and is structured by, cultural systems. The work challenges the Western-centric assumptions that have dominated psychology, showing how cultural variation isn't just superficial but reaches into the core of human psychological functioning. This fundamental insight shows that we can't understand human psychology without understanding cultural contexts, and vice versa. The handbook reveals how cultural practices, beliefs, and values don't just influence behavior but actually shape the basic processes of mind, transforming how we understand human development, cognition, and behavior across different societies and contexts.

"The relationship between culture and psychology isn't just influential, it's constitutive."

Why Zebras Don't Get Ulcers by Robert Sapolsky

Animals can handle acute stress well but humans suffer from chronic stress-related disease. Our sophisticated brains, which allow us to worry about mortgages and social status, activate the same stress response designed for immediate physical threats. Modern humans face health challenges that zebras don't, we turn on the same stress response for psychological threats that zebras use for lion attacks, but we do it chronically.

How easy we can trap in a “fight or flight” state over non-life-threatening worries...

"The zebra's stress response evolved for dealing with acute physical challenges, not chronic psychological ones. When we activate the same system constantly, we get sick."

"How Emotions Are Made" by Lisa Feldman Barrett

The classical view that emotions are universal, hardwired circuits in the brain that are triggered by external events seems to be wrong. The theory of constructed emotion, showing that emotions are not reactions to the world but predictions our brains construct from sensory input, past experiences, and cultural concepts. Understanding emotions as constructions rather than reactions gives us more control over our emotional lives and better tools for emotional intelligence.

"Your brain is not reacting to the world. Using past experience, it's predicting and constructing your experience of the world.”

Peak: Secrets from the New Science of Expertise by Anders Ericsson

Extraordinary ability is primarily the result of a specific type of e "deliberate practice", not from the myth of innate talent. Path to expertise isn't just about putting in hours, but about structured, focused practice that pushes you just beyond your current abilities, with immediate feedback and continuous adaptation.

Need to be more careful with “putting in the hours.” "Touched" burnout few times.

"The right sort of practice carried out over a sufficient period of time leads to improvement. Nothing else.”

Descartes' Error by António Damásio

Damásio demolishes the centuries-old idea that rational thinking works best when separated from emotions. Emotions aren't obstacles to good decisions but are essential to them, patients with damaged emotional centers of the brain can retain full intellectual capacity yet make disastrous life choices.

Emotions and rational decision-making aren’t opposites, they work together.

"The body is the theater where emotions play out, and emotions are essential to rational decisions.”

Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke

Easy access to high-dopamine stimuli, from social media to sugar to pornography, has thrown our reward systems severely out of balance. The brain's pleasure and pain systems work like a balance, where pursuit of pleasure inevitably leads to pain as our brain attempts to restore equilibrium. More pleasure doesn't equal more happiness.

We are sometimes trapped in a cycle of craving. It’s a reminder to balance pleasure and pain, and to build self-awareness around impulsive habits.

"The relentless pursuit of pleasure (and avoidance of pain) leads to pain."

Dopamine: The Molecule of More by Daniel Lieberman & Michael Long

Dopamine isn't just about pleasure, it's about the anticipation of pleasure, driving us to seek more: more success, more love, more knowledge, more everything.

Dopamine fuels my pursuit of “the next big thing.” and this can be bad and good in the same time.

”Dopamine is not about pleasure, it's about the anticipation of pleasure. It's about the pursuit of happiness rather than happiness itself.”

"Anxious" by Joseph LeDoux

Conscious feelings of anxiety are constructed by cognitive systems that are separate from the defensive survival circuits that generate threat responses, that anxiety is simply an excess of fear is wrong. This distinction explains why anti-anxiety medications may calm the body without touching the conscious experience of anxiety, and why purely cognitive approaches often fail to address the full scope of anxiety.

"The conscious experience of anxiety and the brain's defensive response to threat are two different things that have been mistakenly conflated.”

Putting this list together reminded me how much of our thinking, behavior, and growth is influenced by factors we barely notice and control like our biology, culture, and habits.

I probably forgot some of them...