BookBabble #17: "Never Split The Difference" by Chris Voss

"Negotiating as if Your Life Depended on It"

What can the FBI teach us about how to get what we want?

A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home

Back with the BookBabble and we return to the negotiating table with someone who knows a thing or 2 about striking a good deal. 

First off, the title. 'Never Split The Difference' gives the air of being hard-nosed and not be willing to budge your position. This isn't actually the case, but more a reference to the common theme of negotiating. That is, offering a figure or position, the other side counter-offering… and meeting somewhere in the middle. However, it can go a lot better than that (and sometimes has to, as we'll find out later), plus leave all sides happy. 

The author, Chris Voss worked as a prominent figure in international hostage negotiations and was the go to guy to get people out alive and pay the minimum ransom. He now runs a company based around his professional skills called Black Swan Ltd. That name is significant and we'll touch on it later.  

There are over 200 sections quoted, so I'll trim it down to some of the best bits as a lot of it is repeated in various ways anyway. As ever, these are parts that interested me. It could be a different story for you so check these books (and others) for yourself if these subjects and concepts interest you!

The chapters start with a fast-paced story of a hostage negotiation, which is then dissected with an eye to explaining what worked and what didn’t…

our techniques clearly worked with mercenaries, drug dealers, terrorists, and brutal killers. But, I wondered, what about with normal humans?

It's applicable to all. Negotiations exist everywhere and a lot of the skills are transferrable to different situations.

One, separate the person—the emotion—from the problem; two, don’t get wrapped up in the other side’s position (what they’re asking for) but instead focus on their interests (why they’re asking for it) so that you can find what they really want; three, work cooperatively to generate win-win options; and, four, establish mutually agreed-upon standards for evaluating those possible solutions.

The 'simple' (well, straightforward but not easy) steps to a successful negotiation.

They were the economist Amos Tversky and the psychologist Daniel Kahneman. Together, the two launched the field of behavioral economics—and Kahneman won a Nobel Prize—by showing that man is a very irrational beast. 

It's been said before and will be said many times again, that we (humans) are irrational and act on deep emotions and evolutionary impulses. 

Cognitive Bias 

A mistake in reasoning, evaluating, remembering etc. 

Framing Effect 

An example of cognitive bias where people are influenced by how a choice is presented. This is very powerful and of course used all the time in advertising. 

Prospect Theory 

A behavioural economic theory. It can explain why we take unwarranted risks in the face of uncertain losses. One such thing being Loss Aversion…

Loss Aversion 

People are statistically more likely to act to avert a loss than to achieve an equal gain. 

Man, he wrote, has two systems of thought: System 1, our animal mind, is fast, instinctive, and emotional; System 2 is slow, deliberative, and logical. And System 1 is far more influential. In fact, it guides and steers our rational thoughts.

Again, we're looking at different parts of the brain which act in different (and sometimes opposing) ways and inspire certain actions (or lack of). This is a very common theme of 'personal development' type material as it's so fundamental and was also discussed in my Jay Shetty video/article as well as The Chimp Paradox BookBabble…

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~ Adam

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Creative Director & Copywriter @ FortressFree.com

Adam (that's me!) is a Spain based English copywriter and creates spice-filled words for adventurous brands worldwide! Feel free to check out my profile and other articles… and of course, do get in contact if you'd like to chit-chat exciting creative writing projects!