Book Review - The Power of Onlyness

Let me begin by highlighting one of my favorite passages from the book.

“Getting better at any skill is often described as a cumulative process. First, you crawl, then you walk, then you run. Learning is usually understood as the path to perfection, to reaching the point where you know the answers. You proceed linearly until you reach the pinnacle. But in our lives many things are neither linear nor neat— not careers, or parenting, or markets. The actual process of creating something new is more like climbing a mountain that has no summit, where reaching one peak helps you understand the topography better so you can navigate to the next one.”

I stumbled upon this book, ‘The Power of Onlyness’ by Nilofer Merchant while reading an article on HBR around creative thinking.

The book has a clear objective. If you have a wild idea, how do you take it ahead and rally efforts to make a dent in the world? Concrete steps supplemented with detailed examples make this a worthwhile read.

But, what is onlyness?

Stanford Professor, Nilofer defines one’s ‘onlyness’ as a unique combination of experiences that enables us to have a singular perspective. Ideas that are born out of this unique perspective can make a dent when channeled correctly.

Here’s what she writes, “You’re standing in a spot in the world that only you stand in, a function of your history and experiences, visions, and hopes. From this spot where only you stand, you offer a distinct point of view, novel insights, and even groundbreaking ideas. Now that you can grow and realize those ideas through the power of networks, you have a new lever to move the world.”

She gives her own example. She discovered her ‘onlyness’ when she refused an arranged marriage at an early age and chose to further her education. While alienating her from her family for quite some time, this action brought her in contact with like-minded individuals. She took an active interest in education and built a career around it.

The book is structured into three parts as follows:

Part 1 talks about identifying one’s ‘onlyness.' It explains why 'onlyness’ is not trying to separate yourself from everyone, but it is being aware of what makes you unique and then looking for people who appreciate that about you and build on the onlyness.

The example that Merchant gives is that of Kim, who is acutely aware of her daughter being the ‘only’ black girl in the group of students that are learning to code. This awareness is born from her own experiences. For example, she recalls being called a 'twofer,' a slang used to indicate a black woman at corporate who ‘improves’ the diversity quotient in two ways – gender and color.

But were Kim’s worries justified? Yes.

In 1977, change expert, and Harvard Business School professor Rosabeth Moss Kanter did a study that showed that when individuals are members of a group that represents less than 15 percent of the total, their ideas are seen as a function of their uniqueness, rather than their experiences.

Simply put, in a board meeting of 10 people, if one is a female leader, her perspective would first be seen as that of a 'female' leader, rather than just an independent and competent member of the board.

Going back to Kim’s story, she goes on to start a ?community wherein black girl children could learn how to code. The community continues to grow in size and is now known as BGC or the Black Girls Code. By 2040, Kim aims to teach one million girls to code, creating a talent pool for the future of technology.

Part 2 explains how one can reach out to fellow ‘co–denters’ and developing meaningful relationships.

Merchant highlights five ways that one can choose to join or build a community.

These are:

• ?Practice: Groups members are united by an activity that they all take part in. For Example, a community of instructional designers who help each other to build new skills, create a portfolio, and connect to opportunities.
• Proximity: A group that is based on geographical proximity. For example, a group of pet parents in Bangalore chose to feed strays during lockdowns.
• Passion: This community is created by a shared interest in a particular subject—for example, a LinkedIn community of writing enthusiasts.
• Providence: Provident communities are created by chance. For example, two colleagues at a company choose to found a company together.
• Purpose: Such communities are built on a vision of how the world could be.?For example, through the 'Fridays for Future movement, students worldwide urge global leaders to pay more attention to climate change.

One of my favorite examples from this section is that of Rachael Sklar, the founder of ‘Change the Ratio’ and TheL.ist. At some point, Rachael was attending a popular business conference. But she was frustrated to see how very few women leaders were there amongst the speakers. She spoke about it on social media while still at the conference. Very soon, a few more attendees responded to her post, expressing how they felt the same way. These attendees ended up catching up during the conference.

A series of emails, follow-up actions, and several encounters led to the founding of TheL.ist, a private community of innovators, pioneers, disruptors, and connectors across media, technology, entrepreneurship, and business.

Merchant talks about how to use 'signaling' to reach out to a network of co – denters and at the same time how to ensure that one doesn't come across as loud or unhelpful.

In Part 3, Merchant talks about how to galvanize sufficient momentum for action.

When one is trying to galvanize change, there are several moving parts – the organizational structure and the creation of strong and weak networks.

One of the examples in this part is that of Ushahidi, a Kenyan tech-based organization, which crowdsources first-hand reports from citizens on violence and disturbances.?It started as a response to mob-based violence post the elections in 2008. A few technologists built a platform to crowdsource information so that citizens could be aware and stay safe.

Interestingly, Ushahidi is used across the globe, now having a far-reaching impact. As of 2021, it has been used 150,000 times in over 160 countries, crowdsourcing more than 50 million reports from citizens worldwide. At the core of Ushahidi is its culture of empowering the various nodes that branch out across the world.

Merchant presents examples such as these across the book. I specifically liked the detailed account of how Samar Minallah Khan, a Pakistani anthropologist, and documentarian, worked with Pakistani communities and government to stop 'swara,’ a practice of giving up women children of the family as compensation for a crime or to settle a family feud.

With this summary, I would recommend this book for the following readers:

1.?You have a new idea.

If you have a new idea, which seems unique and doesn’t seem to have many takers at the moment, this book will help you embrace your onlyness and refine it.

?2.?You are a leader

The diversity of examples in the books with detailed accounts makes it a treasure-trove of stories.

?3.?You are a female leader.

?The book is replete with examples of female leaders who have followed their ‘onlyness,' challenged the status quo, and made significant dents in the world. If you want to celebrate this, this book is a great read.?