Book Review: The Happy High Achiever. A Guide for Attorneys to Thrive in 2025

With 2025 just around the corner, it’s that time when many of us start thinking about how to up our game, whether it’s improving our practices, growing our client base, or just finding more balance in life. For attorneys, the stakes always feel high—there’s the constant push to build relationships, uncover opportunities, and drive revenue. But let’s be honest: all that striving comes with its share of stress and anxiety.

I see this all the time in the attorneys I coach. They’re ambitious, smart, and driven—basically rock stars—but even they struggle with sustaining their business development efforts, keeping everything in balance, and finding real fulfillment in the grind.

That’s why Mary Anderson, Ph.D.’s new book The Happy High Achiever hit home for me.

It’s packed with practical, science-backed strategies to help high achievers tackle anxiety, manage stress, and fuel their success—without burning out or losing what makes them great.

And it’s not just a professional connection for me; it’s personal too. My amazing wife, a former BigLaw partner and now in-house counsel executive, is the epitome of a high achiever. As I was reading, I kept thinking, “This is so her!” Needless to say, I couldn’t recommend it to her fast enough. ??

Over my 25 years of coaching attorneys, one truth has stood out: some of the the biggest roadblocks to building a thriving, origination-generating practice often aren’t about skills or knowledge—they’re about LIFE. Things like stress, self-doubt, and perfectionism can derail even the most talented lawyers, turning them into heads-down grinders. Anderson’s insights really reinforce my belief that to help attorneys succeed, you have to look at the whole person, before moving straight into their professional to-do list.

Below, I’m sharing the five actionable takeaways from The Happy High Achiever (originally featured by the author in The Next Big Idea Club) along with some of my own thoughts on how they can help attorneys thrive in 2025:

1. Catch and Conquer Cognitive Distortions

Attorneys often face unproductive thoughts that lead to overthinking, self-doubt, and stalled progress. Anderson highlights three common cognitive distortions—the “Troublesome Trifecta”:

• All-or-Nothing Thinking: “If I’m not perfect, I’m a failure.”
• Jumping to Conclusions: “They’ll think I sound incompetent.”
• Should Statements: “I should be further in my career” (or, as I hear often, “I know I should be doing business development”).

To counteract these distortions, Anderson suggests:

• Identifying the unhelpful thought.
• Challenging its accuracy with evidence.
• Replacing it with a constructive, empowering perspective.

Helping attorneys shift from these unproductive thoughts to positive self-talk builds confidence and encourages a proactive approach to relationship-building and business development. And I'll add, don't get caught in comparisions - "They can, but I can't." Anyone can do business development and do so in a collaborative manner across their law firm for greater value to the individual and firm.

2. Shift from Perfectionism to Excellence

Perfectionism, while often celebrated, can be paralyzing. It leads to overwork, procrastination, and burnout. Anderson advocates for striving for excellence, which allows room for learning and growth.

I see this mindset shift also as an opportunity for leaders. I often work with firm leaders and CMOs to create an environment that fosters focus and processes that support progress and ownership. When attorneys feel supported, they are more likely to engage meaningfully in collaborative business development.

3. Prioritize S.E.L.F.-Care

Self-care is essential for sustainable success. Anderson’s framework of “SELF” —Sleep, Exercise, Look Forward, and Fuel—offers a simple approach.

Protecting personal time is key. One partner I worked with made it a priority to leave work at 3 p.m. twice a week to coach his son’s baseball team. By clearly communicating this to colleagues and clients, he maintained his commitments while honoring what was important to him. For another client that found success, I suggested scheduling vacations a year in advance, ensuring both family and colleagues had clear expectations. This is a massive mindset shift especially going from associate to partner. Yes, this requires courage.? Some may not like it, but they will respect it because they wish they were doing it themselves.

4. Practice Gratitude and Celebration

Gratitude isn’t just about feeling good—it’s a tool for rewiring our perspectives. Anderson explains how focusing on what’s good can counteract cognitive distortions, improve mood, and enhance productivity. Equally important is celebrating successes, both big and small. She states that acknowledging progress fosters a sense of accomplishment, builds momentum, and creates motivation for future efforts.

I'll emphasize again that the key to implementing these practices—and to building a thriving practice—is TIME. Set aside regular time, ideally weekly, for reflection and action. I coach my clients to put a reoccurring weekly appointment to do their business development and relationship building activities, which includes recognizing accomplishments over the week and celebrating a win with someone – yours or theirs. I know what you are thinking: "I don't have time!" I see consistently that an attorney doesn't need extra time. They just need to consolidate random efforts into more efficient methods, which actually saves them time.

5. Take Action—Now

As Anderson writes, the biggest regret high achievers often have is not starting sooner. Whether it’s adopting better habits, shifting mindsets, or building relationships, the key is to begin now.

As I remind my clients: the best way to take care of the future is to act in the present. For attorneys, this means prioritizing reflection, evaluation, and taking consistent steps to move forward—no matter how small they may seem.? From a business development perspective, as CMO and consulatnt, I would tell all my new associates “Your first day of being a partner is today.”? Start building relationships and processes today and you won’t have to jump a chasm later. ??

Looking Ahead to 2025

Implementing Anderson’s principles isn’t just about feeling better—it’s about becoming a better lawyer and a more effective business developer. Attorneys who prioritize self-awareness, strive for excellence, and commit to consistent action will not only achieve more but also enjoy greater fulfillment along the way.

As someone who helps attorneys navigate these challenges and maintain consistency for growth, I see these insights as both timely and transformative. I highly recommend her book, not only to attorneys but also leaders supporting their attorney's growth.

If you’re ready to make 2025 your best year yet, I encourage you to take that first step today. Your future self will thank you.

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