Book Review - Give & Take

Adam Grant is an American popular science author, and professor at the Wharton School of the University of Pennsylvania specializing in organizational psychology. He has written many books and in this book "Give and Take" he presents an interesting perspective on how we succeed at work. Conventionally to succeed three things are required hard work, talent and luck. Adam presents a fourth ingredient that's critical and often neglected. It is the way we interact with other people. Every time we interact with another person at work, we have a choice to make. Do we try to claim as much value as we can or contribute value without worrying what we get in return?

Giving, taking and matching are three fundamental styles of interaction. In professional set up most of us end up in the takers or matchers camp. Very few fall in to the givers group. Givers are those who are generous in sharing time, energy, ideas, skills, knowledge and contacts. Adam coins a term called "reciprocity style" for the interactions. It is assumed that givers end up losing than takers and matchers. But throughout the book there are lot of research results and examples which shows givers do well and succeed than others. Also where should a giver draw a line between too much giving and focussing on self. is clearly articulated in the second half of the book.

The range of examples given in the book were wide as it covered from sports to corporate. Givers invest in people and if they feel their investments doesn't pay off they course correct compared to takers whose ego takes control and continue to invest more.

Givers practice powerless communication admitting vulnerability, seeking guidance and support. By admitting vulnerability givers don't feel weakened instead they get better. How can givers influence people still being modest. Influence can be done in two ways dominance and prestige. Givers take the prestige route.

Givers should do a sincerity screening when they give and choose wisely while giving away any of their resources. They should not be a doormat to who take from them.

Most of us could act as a givers in a personal relationship, but within a professional set up we end up as takers. This is due to the fear of missing out. Even if we couldn't be givers all the time we should strive to be adaptable givers.