Book Notes | Be where your feet are | Chapter 1
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Book Notes | Be where your feet are | Chapter 1

If you must look back, do so forgivingly.

If you must look forward, do so prayerfully.

However, the wisest thing you can do is to be present in the present. Gratefully.

-- Maya Angelou


Pause for a minute and consider the environment in which we live. The pulse of the world is dictated by sensationalism and efficiency. And noise. Too much noise all the time.


Personal opinion: This is how the rat race feels like, especially in India. It's because of this feeling that people have committed suicide. There is a Bollywood movie called 3 Idiots that talks about this issue. We are human beings and not machines. India has more supply than demand and organizations take advantage of that. I am talking about unpaid internships and bad work culture environments. If an employee doesn't feel valued enough, please forget about professionalism - things get personal because, in such scenarios, they stick around only to fulfill personal desires and not add value to the organization. Things get personal. Money can't buy everything. How a person is treated, also matters. Just because worse things have happened to other people, doesn't mean you keep quiet. Harassment in any form is harassment - mental, physical, emotional, or spiritual. Everyone has problems, traumas, and bad experiences - that doesn't mean you treat people like shit. It's understandable but not acceptable. Also, even bystanders who see such things happening empower the lost souls by not doing anything. That's just not good practice as human beings. Period.


Being present is harder than ever. For all goodness and increased productivity that 24/7, readily accessible information and connectivity have brought, they have made compartmentalizing roles, jobs, and responsibilities tougher and tougher. There is no longer a start or stop time in the workday. We have a problem. We need to be more present. Here's a four-part process to help this journey:

  1. Find perspective
  2. Seek authentic feedback
  3. Cultivate reflective strength
  4. Live your leadership constitution


Perspective is the foundation on which we build a life where we can be where our feet are.


Seek out feedback from those who love you enough to give it to you (honestly), and if what you hear does not match the expectations you have for yourself... Change!


Life is better, more fulfilling, and more rewarding when you are where your feet are, and the good news is that it is up to you to decide and commit, as the formula is very simple.


Live Your Leadership Constitution


Nelson Family Values

CLEAN thoughts, words, bodies

SMART church, books, decisions

POSITIVE attitude, actions, influence

RESPECTFUL family, elders, peers

LOVING children of God

... And TOUGH


These values are powerful and impactful because they provide examples and a guidepost for a family.


O'Neil Family Rules:

Root for each other

Respect and grace

Do not be outworked


Shawn's Morning Mantra

I am Heavenly Father's son and priesthood leader. I am not just faithful but valiant. I will shine today. I am excited to be with my kids every moments I can, and look for opportunities to mentor and teach them, and to be helpful to my wife. I never dodge. When I don't feel tip-top, then I ponder this mantra or work out without hesitation. I don't drink, or gamble, or swear, or look at women. I don't have a middle-aged gut because I don't eat very much. I exhibit self-control. I will not just be pleasantly remembered but I positively impact everyone I can. I make people feel great about themselves. I deprecate myself. I seek to do service. I exude love and enthusiasm to all. I smile a lot.


Create and Commit to a Leadership Constitution

Sample leadership constitutions:

  1. I DECLARE THAT I AM passionate, creative, positive, and influential. I am a change agent and a leader. I am open and honest. I value integrity and family above everything. I am competitive and ambitious, and I am energized by people coming together to win. I am a survivor. Lastly, I am humbled and grateful for life's blessing each day, yet bold in my ability and responsibility to make the world better.

YOU CAN COUNT ON ME TO bring bold, new ideas that move people and industries forward even in the face of great challenge and resistance. I will always tell the truth, even when the message is difficult to deliver, or to hear. You can count on me to be a team player, as well as an effective coach, and include others in key decisions. I will make the tough call when necessary, and bring endless energy, creativity, and focus when the stakes are the highest.


2. I declare that I am a passionate and authentic leader of leaders who feels a gravitational pull toward talent and character. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I love people and being a part of a team. I get energy from helping others and would give the shirt off my back to a stranger and anything, anytime to a friend. I am a family-first, high-integrity, and surprisingly sensitive change agent who is confident, caring, and intellectually curious. This fuels a competitive drive that at times feels like a chip on my shoulder.

You can count on me to ...

  • bring positive energy into my space
  • exude urgency and push you, challenge you, nudge you, and raise the bar beyond your expectations and sometimes what you think reasonable
  • laugh with you, cry with you, love you, even when you won't laugh, haven't cried, and don't feel loved
  • root for you today, every day, and always
  • share the most personal of thoughts, emotions, stories highs, and lows, because I am okay with it and who I am
  • enjoy the roller-coaster of life, whether we are going forward, backward, or upside down
  • drive hard to reach the summit and then quickly start on another mountain
  • share wins and take hits for losses


There are times when you can passively read a book and other times when you actively engage. My promise to you is that when you actively engage in the exercises at the end of each chapter in this book, you will learn more, retain more, and move a step closer toward the person you aspire to be. It is time for you to write your Leadership Constitution, by completing the following:

I declare that I am ...

You can count on me to ...

You take it from here. The first draft will not be your final draft, and that's okay. Practice by speaking in front of the mirror and to someone who loves you and knows you best. After feedback, take another shot to refine and then finalize your version.




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