This book challenged me to make a radical suggestion to my boss’s boss. It worked.

Back story

I love it when I read a recommended book as a favor to a friend only to find out that the content radically changes my outlook.

I believe everyone should be reading all the time. ?You never know when you will need what an author has to say. And you don’t always have the time to pause and take a study break when a crisis arises.

When I read Brené Brown ’s #DareToLead, I was drifting professionally. I was watching the work I was doing being undermined by a lack of professionalism in other areas. I was stunned at the timely recommendation.

Ultimately, I would propose a lateral move at my workplace to take over the area I knew needed to level up. That would be my last of several assignments at that institution and over the next two years I would prepare the department I led for my eventual replacement who would elevate the department’s position and effectiveness. Something that, if I’m being honest with myself, I couldn’t have done.

In hindsight, reading this book was a pivotal moment in my career where I would step into a coaching mentality.

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Speech + Lions with scars

Brene introduced me to one of the clearest leadership calls to action—President Roosevelt’s often-quoted speech while on a European tour, “It's not the Critic Who Counts.” ?A small section has been platformed by some prominent people, all who are recognized as outliers of extreme success. Men like Tom Brady and Lebron James are just two in the athletic arena. Men who demand respect, even if you don’t cheer for their teams. ?

If you’ve never read it, I love this narrated version on YouTube - https://youtu.be/A311CnTjfos?si=wVJUD24egbp2nbHb.

Roosevelt and Brown both challenge listeners to understand that success requires determination to use failure to move forward. The idea that success will be automatic and easy is just not true. Unfortunately, as a culture, we expect convenience and ease. But as a leader, you will not be effective without failing. And to be ok with failure requires courage and vulnerability.

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Armored Leadership vs Daring Leadership

The book describes the negative qualities of leaders as armored leaders. People who can’t be open and available to the team around them. Self-preserving at all costs, these leaders are scared. Scared of the “might’s.” This or that might happen. She might laugh at me. He may betray me. The company might turn on me. My actions might not be recognized. This way of thinking closes off the potential gains by believing the lie that you are actually protecting yourself by criticizing others’ work. But you’re not. Because it’s ineffective to be an armored leader. And if you are ineffective, the gig eventually is up. You can only bully people for so long. These armored managers aren’t even leaders in my book. They weaponize fear and uncertainty for their own gain. It’s despicable and you probably have someone coming to mind right now.

In contrast, the daring leader models learning, sets boundaries, and knows the value of the people they serve. They don’t hide what they are thinking, knowing that it’s kindest to be candid. But they don’t use that information as a tool to control you. They take action. These daring leaders are the ones we remember because they acknowledge your fears, celebrate your wins, and model taking risks. These leaders are humans with you, leading from the heart. And we love them for it.

This book challenged me to make a radical suggestion to my boss’s boss. It worked.

A New Definition of Integrity

Perhaps the most significant shift I had to make was in understanding Brown’s take on integrity: “Integrity is choosing courage over comfort; it’s choosing what’s right over what’s fun, fast, or easy; and it’s practicing your values, not just professing them.”

Wow. What a challenge! Many companies, including the one I was working for at the time, named integrity as one of their core values. But as an individual, do you even have identified values you practice? I know I didn’t at the time. Now I do. And I can’t say that I am consistent in all areas.

It’s important to understand that as leaders, trust is the fuel that drives the team's engine. Stephen M.R. Covey is famous for saying this in his book, The Speed of Trust. “Trust is the glue that holds teams and organizations together,” says Brown. Our coworkers, partners, and family need to know that they can trust us. And that means we have to do what we say. It also means you shouldn’t say it if you don’t mean it. Cut the crap. No one has time for your personal brand that’s totally unreliable. Be determined to work the right way. No cut corners. No “get ahead quick” schemes. Just get in the ring and keep working hard.

Relevance to today

I can’t tell you how these concepts should change the way you present yourself because only you know if you are being honest with the people around you. It could mean that you should be encouraged that, though someone doesn’t appreciate you for the integrity you live out every day, you bring value to the culture of your company. It could mean that you need to define your values so you can actually live in them moving forward. But I know that all of us could hear Brene’s pleas for us to develop a heart for leadership.

I chose to leave the comfort of a 9-5 corporate job that was predictable and started a business. What will Daring Leadership look like on you?

I love this book because I always take something new away from reading it again. I highly recommend that you add this to your “ready regularly” list.