Boo! 8 benefits of facing your fears and doing things that scare you

It’s Halloween which is fun for some and scary for others. I HATE being scared. Scary movies, psychological thrillers; it all gives my active imagination and always-spinning mind nightmares (my poor husband).

 “No Fear” right? (so said the clothing line from the late 80s and 90s). Wrong. We all have fears. It’s what we choose to do about our fears that determines the speed of our growth trajectory or lack thereof.

Before SHARING 8 benefits of facing our fears, I’ll walk the talk. Here are 2 Halloween-related ways I faced my fears past and present.

The Winchester Mystery House: 2 years ago, I toured the Winchester Mystery House with my friend Jaime Massar. It’d been on my bucket list since age 15 when my family was touring homes in So Cal, and my mom would take one look at the windy, oddly laid out homes and say, ‘this is like the Winchester Mystery House”. I promised myself I’d seek that odd place out when I could. An eventual move to the Bay Area provided the perfect opportunity to visit, even if Jaime wanted to visit on Halloween. I spent most of the CANDLELIT tour through that eerie place clinging to Jaime and with my hands hovering over my eyes. People jumped out of dark corners during those 2 hours! But I did it, fulfilled a childhood promise to myself and feel like I have an extra badge of honor.

This experience taught me the important role that friends can play to help me conquer my fears and allowed me to re-live old memories from my childhood.

Ghosts: This year Taylor Patterson and I took the SF Ghost tour through Pac Heights. The idea of ghosts sends chills down my spine, so the thought of going on a tour to learn more about them and possibly experience them was low on my priority list... even though I'm the one who found it. The tour was a trip and I highly recommend it! Now I know the ghosts in my back yard, had fun, AND know some cool nuggets of SF’s history that I wouldn’t have learned elsewhere. (Did you know post-WWII many homes were battleship gray because the shipyard had a surplus of paint?)

6 benefits of facing your fears

I face my fears and embark on things that scare the $hit out me and you should too. The best things in life are on the other side of fear.

1. Know what you’re capable of. When we challenge ourselves, we grow and fulfill our potential. Fear stands in the way of taking the risks required to challenge ourselves. When we face that fear and push ourselves beyond what we thought we thought we could do or achieve, we realize what we’re capable of. Plus, it feels amazing to say “yes, I did that!”. 
2. Turn your dreams into reality. Achieving our dreams brings change and uncharted territory. This terrifies some people. When I get there who will I be? What if I’m disappointed? What will I do next? These fears lead to playing it safe, staying in our comfort zone and experiencing varying levels of disappointment, even if its self-inflicted. Boo! Focus When fear arises, focus on the potential payoffs to spur excitement or focus on one step at a time. Soon you’ll realize your dream are your current reality.
3. Fear alerts us to what matters. When the stakes are high and there’s something we want to achieve, we feel either fear or excitement. They are 2 sides of the same coin and 2-5 inches apart in the body. When fear arises, instead of letting it paralyze you to, flip the feeling to excitement. Recognize that the situation is meant to inspire your continued growth. 
4. Separate fact from fiction and move forward. Brene Brown talks about “the stories we tell ourselves” when we're in pain or chaos to make sense of the situation. Ever experienced a friend or colleague frantically say “HR wants to see me! I must be getting fired!” yet they received a stellar performance review a month earlier? Rarely is their job on the line yet they lose their mind and fail to concentrate on anything else until that meeting. When fear arises, choose how to react. Challenge it, ask what is a fact and what is an assumption or story. If there’s no basis to the fear, get back to being productive.
5. Avoid regrets. Facing our fears and “doing it anyway” prevents us from wondering what could’ve happened. Ask yourself, would I regret NOT doing this? How much? (Yes, you can take risks without being irresponsible or shooting from the hip.)
6. Develop greater resilience. Life does NOT get easier as we get older and have more demands on our time and emotion.
7. Overcome future fears. Once you’ve overcome your fears and reaped the benefits, you’ll have greater courage and confidence to face other fears that arise.
8. Encourage others to face and overcome their fears. Be a role model to others. That feels just as outstanding as achieving our own dreams.

What's next

Find your fear and face it.

Tell me - what fear have you faced? Or are you going to face?

Happy Halloween.