Bodyline
There was a time, I struggled between the choice of "fitting in" versus " Being myself". "Fitting in" was required to be accepted within a team, within a culture I was part of. It meant burning my purse and buying clothes that refused to fit in. I began to gather a closet full of clothes that I bought only to "fit-in". While I began to "fit-in" , I realised that I was beginning to distance myself from my own self. Whenever I looked into the mirror I realised the real me , was hiding behind an ill fitting blazer or shirt. My face lacked its lustre as it missed its beloved Bindi. I did this for many years. I did it when I travelled out of country, I forced to "fit-in" when I wanted to appear powerful and I realised I wasnt internally happy. More importantly beyond focussing on my work I was more focussed on how I looked.
One day it occurred to me through a benevolent colleague and a close friend. She showed me my own internal mirror and made me realise, I am unique because of my work and nothing else. I look best when I am in my favourite attire- The Indian Saree. Thats it, It felt like she lifted a huge weight off my shoulders and made me realise that it is not my attire to "fit-in" that brought me laurels. But there is more more that fitted in :-) Its only my work that speaks!
I still love to see people in fancy western wear , but I also feel hurt when I see many who are trying to "fit-in" like the earlier me. They are doing it for acceptance, to gain a cultural fitment with their workspace, to demonstrate positional power. If you happen to meet anyone like this- just be like my friend and lift the weight off her shoulders. Encourage her to dress to gain respect, Encourage her to dress to her comfort- just do this and help us to just bring her best to her work
领英推荐
Servant Leader- Green Technologist/Leader H2-ICE, fuel cell, EV Baas, ALT fuel/ALT technology
2 年Thank you Hema, Nice article. Resonates well with Dr APJ Kalam's book " You are unique". Well
Director
2 年Beautifully encapsulated !
CEO @ Exxelo | Driving Business Growth with Consulting &Training Expertise and setting and streamlining processes
2 年Beautifully articulated Hema Mani ( She/Her)
I help Leaders and Entrepreneurs accelerate the performance of employees by 20% in 2 months???? > achieve Happiness & Inner balance without losing Performance > Entrepreneurs > CXOs > People development > Talent Mgmt
2 年You make a very good point Hema Mani ( She/Her). However it goes beyond clothes. Many of us are trying to modify our core values and behaviours to gain acceptability from the environment that we are in; whether work or at home also. This "adaptive behaviour" is like a rubber band. You can stretch it only so far. Beyond the elasticity limit the rubber band breaks. Similarly we go thorugh mental and physical trauma and lose our happinesss when we modify our behaviours and values to try to fit in far beyond our " Elasticity limit". It would be good to check our "Inner Balance" periodically to see if we are, unconsciously, in this losing proposition. Also to recognise if those working with us are undergoing this and lend a helping hand, if they are willing to listen. #innerbalance #yoga #leadershipskills #performanceexcellence #talentmanagement #entrepreneurskills
prince 2 practitioner, certified scrum master
2 年Very true