Body Language for Networking

Do you know, I mean really know, how you come across to others the first time you meet them? Do you purposely position your body in open stances that project confidence and likeability? Do you avoid covering your naughty bits?

I bet that got your attention!

I attended a fun and inspirational networking event last week in Fort Lauderdale, FL, for entrepreneurs and corporate executives who want to innovate and challenge the norm in their industry. (And if you are reading this, you are probably one of those people!) We had the opportunity to listen to and meet brilliant keynote speakers and then workshop new ideas with each other. And, of course, we networked. I met positive people and made genuine connections.

The best part was that this event was not a slimy, phony get-together where people shoved a business card in your face without even having a real interest in you but still thinking you'll do business with them.

When you are networking, be authentic, and make sure you know how you come across, both verbally and nonverbally, so you do not mistakenly send the wrong message.

Being a body language expert, most people think I focus on reading and analyzing the nonverbal cues of others to detect the truth from deception. Well...I do! However, I also use my knowledge of body language to help me gain interest and trust from people the moment I meet them. I am going to teach you how to do that too.

Here are five easy steps that you can do to persuade people to like you, want to get to know you on a deeper level, and ultimately want to do business with you.

Before I share these five steps, let me warn you about something. If you do not feel genuine when using the following techniques, they will not be effective. You must first have the right mindset; that is you genuinely want to meet and get to know these people.

Now you are ready!

Step 1: Face Your Feet and Belly Button Towards Them

Make sure you position your feet so that they are pointing at the person you are speaking with. Your mind follows your feet. If your feet pivot away from that person and towards another, or a door, that's where your mind will go. So you will focus half of your attention on that person and half on another or an exit. Give people your full attention; it makes them feel valued.

Along with your feet, align your belly button towards the other person's belly button. Now, don't make this creepy! When belly buttons are facing towards each other, you can establish a meaningful connection because, again, your full attention will be on that person.

Step 2: Expose Your Power Zones

The body has three power zones; the neck dimple, the belly button/stomach, and the groin area (or naughty bits!). They are called power zones because if we got hit in any of those three areas, we could be seriously injured. So when we feel any type of fear, we unconsciously cover up these three areas with our arms and hands.

Let me share this thought with you: Most people do not like going to the dentist. If you are one of them, this will resonate with you. Think back to your last dental appointment. How did you sit in the chair? I bet you crossed your hands in front of your stomach and crossed your ankles. Am I right? Most of us do this because we know that drill is going to hurt! So we unconsciously protect our power zones - even though it's our mouth that is experiencing the pain.

I'm sure you have seen people cover their throats and clasp their hands in front of them. These are gestures that are meant to protect ourselves. Unfortunately, when we cover up our power zones, we look and feel uncomfortable.

If you are at a networking event and the person you are talking to suddenly covers one of these areas, they may be uncomfortable. Re-think your conversation.

If you are standing in a room covering your power zones, you may look uncomfortable and insecure, and people may avoid you.

Read this statement; CONFIDENCE ATTRACTS. Look and feel confident by exposing your power zones and taking up as much space as you can. You may wonder how that will make you feel confident? When you stand in a Power Pose, you suppress the release of your stress hormone cortisol. And if you do not believe me, watch Amy Cuddy's TED Talk on Power Poses.

Step 3: Express Your Emotions

When you speak, use genuine facial expressions of emotion and inflect your voice. People who show no emotions and have a monotone voice can come across as boring. However, do not oversell a smile or the facial expression of surprise by standing there with your mouth gaping open. When you have a true emotion, do not hide it. True expressions of emotion are great and encourage people to keep talking.

Step 4: Use Your Confident Voice

Try changing the tone and pitch of your voice to sound more interesting and authoritative. Sometimes, I intentionally drop the pitch of my voice to sound more confident. Monotone voices can be perceived as uninteresting and boring.

Be sure to avoid filler words and too many hesitations when answering questions. You may come across as nervous and unsure of what you are saying. You may have to practice conversations at home or in the car to gain confidence when speaking about a particular topic.

One other tip; share insightful and unanticipated information to gain the attention and interest of others. If you do not share, the person you are speaking to will not feel compelled to share and the conversation may stall out.

Step 5: Use Your Eyes

Show interest in others with your eyes. Obviously, look at them! But do not stare. If you are uncertain as to the appropriate level of eye contact to give, I say give reciprocal eye contact. If they give a lot, so should you. Be culturally aware when it comes to eye contact because there are cultural differences, and you would not want to offend anyone with direct eye contact!

Also, try widening your eyes when you like an idea they expressed or a story they shared. It sends the signal, 'I'm really interested in that!'

Now you know how to use your body language to increase your networking success. Good luck!