The Body Language of Leaders: Simple Enough to Start Today. Powerful Enough to Change Everything.

Body language is an extremely powerful tool necessary for building relationships with others. Within the first few seconds of meeting someone the non-verbal cues we give off either draw people in or discouraging people from approaching. I’ve spent over twenty-six years meeting great leaders and speaking to audiences and I assure you, the best thing about body language is that like anything else, it can be honed and perfected with practice.

Here are seven simple tips and advice I’ve acquired over the years that you can start using today:

Before an important meeting, breathe deeply and picture yourself successful.

Right before you enter the room, take a deep breath and visualize the successful end result. Hold that picture in your head as you continue to breathe. If you find your hands moving to your hips (or even higher) go with it. This victory stance, or “power stance” as Amy Cuddy calls it, is best practiced unobserved. So find a private place, visualize what it feels like to cross the finish line and let your freak flag fly. Doing so not only releases tension that is communicated visually, it activates powerful memories of success and emboldens us on many levels. Think of this as the 2016 version of “begin with the end in mind”.

Eye contact; there is no substitute.

Some of the most powerful and successful people in the world are known for the lasting impressions they make during one-on-one meetings. Their gaze never wavers from the eyes of the person with whom they are speaking.  When you are on the receiving end of this, you feel like you're the only person in the world, and there is no doubt that’s why everybody loves and follows them. Are you

making good eye contact with those you meet? Are you maintaining that eye contact throughout the conversation? Or are you glancing at your phone or looking behind them to see who else is in the room? With a little practice and self-discipline, anyone can do this.  

Facial expressions. Interested is interesting.

Maintaining an interested facial expression goes hand in hand with maintaining good eye contact. You want people to perceive you as alert, interested and trustworthy. It’s so much more than simply smiling and holding back a yawn. To show that you are truly interested you need to watch their eyes not their mouth, and do everything you can to not open yours until they are done speaking. Be aware that sometimes your lips start to open or even slightly mouth words because we get so excited that it’s almost our turn to speak. As my mother used to say “you give the gift of listening with your mouth closed and your eyes smiling”. So let your smile be genuine by allowing the smile muscles to go all the way to your eyes, and keep your mouth shut until it’s your turn.

Your stance and mirroring magic.

Either while standing or seated across from your counterpart, try a little mirroring. Push back from the table or lean away from your subject. You’ll most likely see your counterpart react in kind by backing away from you. Now lean forward, open your stance, open your arms and hands, and look him or her in the eyes and smile all the way to the creases in your eyes. Watch as the interaction warms up and is much more friendly and open. That’s how fast your body language can help you build rapport. It can be instant, even with a total stranger. Always making an effort to stand in a manner that is open and welcoming, rather than blocking people out of your conversation. Be mindful of leaning on objects and folding your arms because that communicates boredom.

The Power of the Pause.

Human beings are drawn to movement and change. Use it. When speaking to a group you need to move strategically to get people’s attention. Start a meeting sitting down and then stand up and lean forward before making a key point. Move back and forth on a stage as you slowly draw the audience in and then move toward the audience before making your conclusion. It’s subtle but effective. You can also use space to reinforce your ideas. For example, if you’re presenting three issues, talk about each of them from a different physical position. Even side steps of one foot can emphasis this on the stage or otherwise. If you have “bad” news and “good” news, consider presenting each from different sides of the stage, platform or room. (Just be sure to make your closing remarks while standing on the “good” side.) But whatever you do, don’t move at all while making a crucial point. You have the most impact when you combine movement with physical pauses in which you stand absolutely still to highlight your most important points.

To look decisive, rotate your palms down.

For years I’ve trained interviewees to keep their palms exposed to show potential bosses they are eager for opportunities and open to negotiate in the interview process. Well there is two sides to that coin. Savvy leaders use that body language to steer conversations and indicate when they are open or closed to negotiation. People automatically pronate their hands when they feel strongly about something and a definitive gesture of authority when you speak is placing both hands, palms down, right on the conference table. These gestures cross borders and languages. They are powerful and definitive, so use them strategically when you are speaking.

Read your audience and know when people want to leave.

People often signal that they are ready to end a conversation by assuming the position of someone ready to rise. They may move to the edge of the chair. Or they may lean forward with hands on the arms of the chair or hands on their knees. If you are aware of someone assuming these postures while you are speaking, know that they are ready to leave and try to respect that signal by

quickly finishing what you are saying. But what do you do if you see this three-quarters of the way through your presentation?  Firstly, address it. Stay in control and back up. Moving in a backward motion is a powerful way to enhance cognitive control. So step back (literally) and address verbally that you know people are ready to leave. If you can get a laugh with your comments it will be all the better. Lastly, consider it direct feedback on your body language at that point in your presentation and make a mental note that it needs to be revised. We only improve when we accept honest insights, adapt and change.

By the way: Just because these seven tips sound simple, don’t underestimate their power. Small nonverbal changes can make a huge difference in how people perceive and relate to you. Take a hard look in the mirror and consider if what you are doing vs. saying, is making a positive and powerful first impression.

Whether you are attempting to approach a new prospect, work a room, lead a team or address an audience, becoming more aware of your body language today will sow the seeds of success tomorrow.