Body Language Development (part 1)

Maintain Eye Contact

Good eye contact is a clear sign of confidence. A trait typical of someone going through bullying is to avoid eye contact and look down, which gives a submissive appearance and reinforces the impression of being a victim. Learning to hold eye contact can be empowering for a child. Teach your child, when they are talking to someone, to look at a point between their eyes. It’s important, of course, not to hold eye contact for too long, which can be seen as intimidating.

Also teach your child to nod when they are listening. This will help them build rapport with the person they are communicating with, which is an important way to feel comfortable, happy and confident in their environment. Mirroring is a more advanced version of this and can be taught to older teens (sixteen and older).

Adopt an open posture

Folded arms and hands in pockets are an indicator of low confidence, nervousness, or anxiety in a social situation, a classic defensive posture. In contrast, speaking with our arms when we are explaining something or making a point, or responding with a gesture, is a sign of confidence.

Make positive facial expressions

A smile or a laugh goes a long way. A frown or a negative facial expression is a sign of insecurity and discomfort. We teach our students to smile whenever they enter a room. In doing so, they put themselves in a confident state by framing the environment to match how they want to feel. This gives them more control of their emotions and feelings than they realise.

Don’t be afraid to take up space

A child going through bullying will often look for opportunities to avoid attention. This tendency is all too clear to those who are doing the bullying. By moving into the center of a room, your child will appear more confident. Keeping their hands out of their pockets and gesturing with their hands, as discussed, helps them to take up more space and shows that they are in control of their environment, that they are confident in and happy with their surroundings.

Relax your shoulders

Rounded or hunched shoulders (often due to hands in pockets) signal a desire to hide, to become smaller and less of a target. More importantly, it makes us feel smaller and less confident. A relaxed posture shows that we are comfortable and happy in our environment, that we are not a victim.

Stand upright

This is a big one. Much like relaxing our shoulders, maintaining an upright posture and opening up our chest is vital to coming across as confident. It also impacts the way we sound and how our voice projects. It’s incredible how quickly correcting this negative trait transforms our appearance. We need constant reminders for this to become a habit. A tip is to teach your child to imagine they are suspended from the ceiling by an invisible thread.