Body Language Article: How to Spot a Liar by John Boe
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How to Spot a Liar by John Boe
Some people can’t tell a lie, while others can’t tell the truth and unfortunately, most people can’t tell the difference. The truth sometimes hurts, and few business or personal relationships can survive the harsh reality of total honesty. While most people are generally honest, even those who subscribe to honesty engage in deception sometimes. Studies show that the average person lies several times a day. Some of those lies are big (“I’ve never cheated on you!”) but more often, they are little white lies (“That dress looks fine”) deployed to avoid uncomfortable situations or spare someone's feelings.
While it’s not always easy to spot deceptive behavior, there are many subtle, yet discernible clues that are obvious to the trained eye. While your prospect may appear to be very interested in your product or service, his or her gestures speak much louder than their words. Most prospects have great difficulty saying “no” and will actually pretend to be interested in order to avoid disagreement or potential conflict. As the pressure of making a decision builds, prospects will frequently use half-truths or lies to keep from having to make a buying decision. While your prospect’s words say “yes,” his or her body language indicates “no way.”
Body language is a mixture of movement, posture and tone of voice. Studies show that nonverbal communication has a much greater impact and reliability than the spoken word. Therefore, if a person’s words are not matching up with his or her body language gestures, you would be wise to rely on the body language as a more accurate reflection of their true feelings and intentions.
During the selling process, it’s important to remember that body language is not a one-way street. While you’re evaluating your prospect’s body language for signs of honesty and credibility, he or she is subconsciously observing and reacting to your gestures as well.
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“See No Evil, Hear No Evil and Speak No Evil.” We’ve all seen the statue or picture of the three monkeys covering their eyes, ears and mouth. As it turns out, these three hand-to-face gestures are the major nonverbal cues typically associated with lying. When a person is doubtful or lying, they’ll often use their fingers or hand to block their mouth. This hand blocking mouth gesture is commonly referred to as “speak no evil.” On the other hand, if your prospect blocks his or her mouth while you are speaking, it indicates that they don’t believe what you are saying.
The second critically important gesture associated with deceit is called “see no evil” and it occurs when a person rubs or touches his or her eye(s). The person who is using this gesture is indicating that they don’t believe what they are seeing. The third gesture, “hear no evil”, is displayed when a person covers his or her ear(s). This gesture indicates that they don't believe what they are hearing.
These three key gestures should be considered as red flags to any alert salesperson. When you encounter one of these three “monkey gestures” (and you will) during your sales presentation, gently probe the subject matter with a series of open-ended questions to flush out concerns or misunderstandings.
In addition to the three hand-to-face gestures, eye movement is another reliable indication of deceit. It’s normal for a person to look up to his or her left when thinking about the past and up to the right when thinking about the future. If you ask a person a question from his or her past and they look up to their right, they’re making up a response. Law enforcement personnel and border patrol officers are trained to routinely monitor these eye movement gestures during interviews.
According to Paul Ekman, professor of psychology at the University of California, San Francisco, two of the most common gestures that are associated with deceit are the nose wrinkle and the mouth curl. The nose wrinkle is the same gesture that occurs naturally when you smell something offensive. The other facial gesture is a slight downward curl of the corners of the mouth.
When you speak and engage in normal conversation, it is natural to move your body around in subtle, relaxed, and, for the most part, unconscious movements. So, if you observe a rigid, catatonic stance devoid of movement, it is often a huge warning sign that something is off. Fidgeting is very common for people who are uncomfortable. Much like blinking, it is a defense mechanism, meant to keep us on the ready for anything bad happening. It can function as a way of detecting lies with the body language of lying. If someone is fidgeting, it can mean that they are uncomfortable with what they are saying.
If our words tell a different story than our thoughts, our body betrays us nonverbally. Therefore, it is very important not only to listen to what people say but also to look at them. By being observant and paying attention to your prospect’s body language, you will be able to polish up your presentation and close more sales in less time!
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