The Body Betrays

I have been spending time supporting organization culture efforts, specifically as it relates to the strengthening of managers and supervisors. When I tell you I love how my work in behavioral health sciences and well-being have merged in this way to now allow me the unique perspectives and skillset to help companies and individuals, is an understatement.?

My work allows me to call upon my experiences across several roles as a manager, team leader, project leader etc. to now be able to see through not only the eyes of staff but also those called upon to lead them. Such a dual perspective is not rare, however, the nuances I hold as a woman of color, Caribbean and dear I say, still young in the game, are interesting assets.?

I remember working in different workspaces where a meeting would be called and you would be waiting to hear something profound or juicy…something that would help to either temporarily allow you to forget the pile of work you have to get through or by some miracle you would hear about resources coming to support you as a manager. The miracles were very rare and so you had to forge through the best you could and still get through the pile of work on your desk.

The landscape of work has changed and it was changing way before Covid-19. The pace of things have certainly sped up, but the change was happening nonetheless. Managers are more tired than before, staff have higher expectations more so now than ever before and the two are struggling in many cases to make things work in the best interest of all involved. I have always looked at managers and supervisors as the heart of the workplace sandwich; the lettuce, tomato, mayo and your selected protein of choice. Managers and supervisors and in some cases depending on company size, directors as well, are not often as well resourced as folks would like to think.

Resourced not only in the sense of having equipment for the job but resourced with the necessary competencies and capacities; both professionally and personally, needed to carry out the tasks assigned. I have to make resourcing clear, as for many it can mean having the pens, printers, laptops, desks etc needed to do work. Far too often we neglect the intangible resources aligned with those executive function skills. Some may say soft skills others say people skills. Either way, those in this “inbetween” tier are more stretched than ever, being called upon to be mentors, coaches and teachers given the expanded role of work and the expectations of the evolving workplace.?

As you can imagine there is much resistance whether people are actively aware of their resistance or not. This is where people’s body language betrays them. In a recent discussion about an assessment I rendered for a department, the team had asked for a debrief specifically with me about their performance. Like I say, I enjoy what I do and so naturally, I was willing to share my findings and reflections with the team. It provided me the opportunity to further observe members of the team in their group setting and not just with me in the one on one interviews.

I know that oftentimes, how a person first shows up, is generally how they are about 60% of the time. If it is their first contact with you, maybe there is an added layer of defense but by and large we are who we are. Sure enough, some staff members showed up even more defensive than they did with me in interviews. I am also intrigued how we can say one thing but our body is screaming a whole other story. So many of us are blind to this and think, the armor we put on hides and protects our disdain, fear, boredom or plain “I'm over this bullshit, it has nothing to do with me anymore” attitude. We would do better off to know, we are lying to ourselves.?

Many of us are dealing with personal stressors that severely impact how we show up and perform at work. We cannot hide. I am one of those people. You will know when I need a Snickers bar or when I need a “lif’ up” to be held, as we say in Jamaica. I remember vividly, being so over some of my work experiences, I did what I could to look presentable for work, but mentally would escape to some other place and have to do my best to avoid the so-called “resting bitch face”. Our body betrays us if we are not mindful. However, the old adage of faking it until you make it, is not the way to go.

If you know that you are frustrated in one way or another in personal life and or professional life, and things are now really affecting each other, reach out. You can connect with me or other professionals who are coaches or like me, a coach-psychologist who has been in your shoes.

Be Well.

Concerns or Queries?

Contact: [email protected]