Conflict is not inherently bad. Disagreements on a board actually can lead to greater perspective and new understanding. But this is true only when…
- Both sides can step aside from personal narratives.
- There is a spirit of curiosity and discovery.
- The larger mission/goals/ambitions of the organization are shared.
Most conflict, however, is mired in pettiness, short sightedness, and posturing. So when conflict begins the primary question is,?“What sort of conflict is this; heat or light?”
Heat?conflict is all about generating friction which leads to hurt and anger.?Light?conflict, while still uncomfortable, is illuminating and fosters greater understanding.
An example of Heat conflict:?
A board member complains that they don’t know what is going on in the organization even though you provide the board with monthly reports, have a strategic plan, and meet regularly. This person speaks behind your back and is stirring up unnecessary tension on the board. This is a conflict about a person with a grudge;?it is a heat issue not a light issue. Therefore your strategies are about minimizing the impact of their negativity. You do this by;
- Not taking the bait.?These situations are designed (largely subconsciously) by the offender to draw you into an unnecessary battle. The more you stay the course, keep improving your board communication, and maintaining a professional demeanor the more the advantage shifts in your direction.
- Shoring up relationships.?While one person is carping, make sure there are no personal issues bubbling up with other board members. Without gossiping about the trouble maker, reach out to build stronger ties. Listen to them, ask for input, and be curious about their lives.
- Initiating contact with the offender. While it is tempting to just cut the person out, going to them one on one and asking directly about the source of complaint can give you valuable insight. In such a meeting I learned that a board member was facing tremendous family strain. That empowered me to be more empathetic and the tension on the board soon settled down. It doesn’t always work out like that, but going to the person always takes away their ability to say, “They never even talked to me about my concerns.”
- Staying the course.?As much as the board may want to get into the conflict as an agenda item, unless it is affecting operational matters, don’t. Morale is an important part of your leadership, but adding “heat” issues to your board time will frustrate the other members and diminish your standing. Keep the main things the main things on a board agenda. If the person raises it in the meeting, remain dispassionate and answer with data and verifiable information.
An example of Light conflict:?
Nonprofit boards can become soft on measuring impact. Because the bottom line is less tangible, there is a tendency toward complacency. One board member keeps asking about impact metrics. They may not do so in that precise a way. Instead they keep asking about budget, staffing, and salaries. As an Executive Director, this can become like a bur under your saddle. You begin to avoid this line of questioning and give this board member the cold shoulder. Tensions begin to mount. But in your more lucid moments you realize that they are simply asking about the things that you too are worried about. This is not a heat issue (a personality clash), it is a light issue (a problem with operational issues). The strategy here is to uncover the problem. You do this by;
- Going to the board member.?So much good comes out of talking directly with the person, rather than around them. Admit that you have been annoyed by their consistent questioning about investment and return. Apologize. Then share your own worries about impact. By doing this, you will have gained an ally in facing a key organizational problem and will have avoided a 'heat’ debate.
- Devising a plan.?Together talk through the impact issues you and they see. Begin to sketch out some ways forward. Define what information you need. Then work together to go to the board for their input.
- Leading the conversation.?Others on the board will have had seen the problem before you raise it. In some ways the board system has encouraged the question asker to step out for them. When you and that person come to the board united about defining and exploring solutions, the collective anxiety of the board is removed. There is a palatable sense of progress in this moment because you have lead what they thought was a brewing storm (a heat exchange) into a way for them to be engaged positively.
In conflict, defuse the heat and engage the light.
Assistant Director of Finance, Planning and General Operations at UCSC Center for Agroecology
1 年I needed to read this, this week. Thank you.
Recent NYU Fundraising Certificate Program Graduate. Seeking an Entry-Level Position in Philanthropy or Prospect Research in NYC If In-Office Hours Are Required.
1 年Yes. A relative of mine had a saying; if you aren't giving someone a little bit of deadline pressure, you are doing your job wrong. For a team to work it needs to be aware and receptive of what needs to get done and who needs what to move on to their next project or task. The lesson that conflict is inherently bad needs to be revised by the end of college for every student. Stakes are higher once you enter the workforce and priorities often conflict in the short and long term over something as basic as the work right in front of us and what should take precedent. Great post.
Disabled Paramedic/EMS Administrator
1 年The heat conflict can also be driven by a person or group with a particular agenda...
CSR & Financial Sustainability Consulting.Fundraising Strategist and Capacity building. Social Impact & Social Entrepreneurship Advisory.
1 年Your articles are very relevant and insightful.