Boardroom lessons from the Bedroom.

My dad has had the greatest influence on me, my leadership style, and my philosophy. Seeing him at close quarters for years- how he treated his wife, led the home, related with domestic staff, taking the “bullet” for the family. Leading from the front and by example, relating with others, social skills, etc. All these left strong impressions on me. Ideally, I believe that the first place individuals learn about leadership should be at home (Another post for another day).

My wife and marriage have had the second-greatest influence on my leadership style and philosophy. As we celebrate our wedding anniversary this December, I reflect on some of those lessons and insights.

It is possible to disagree without being disagreeable: If you’ve been married for any length of time, you’ll realize that disagreements and conflicts are inevitable. In the early years of our marriage, everyone held on to their positions and sometimes became obnoxious or disagreeable, but over the years, we’ve realized that disagreements don’t necessarily mean the end of the world. You can both hold two different positions and still be civil about it. A great lesson for the workplace and boardrooms.

Diversity is very important: My wife is a typical “fiery red” personality- makes decisions on the go; is task-oriented; execution execution-focused; and lets everyone know where she stands kind person. On the other hand, I’m an “earth green” personality- think through issues thoroughly’ am diplomatic in nature; and am a people-focused; big picture kinda guy. You can imagine the confusion when we need to make a decision or work on something together. Almost always ended in a stalemate! – But over the years, we’ve come to see these as strengths and because we now understand each other’s personalities, we defer to the other when that strength is needed. Again, another key aspect of the workplace and boardrooms.

The leader is not always the most knowledgeable: I believe In the traditional concept of the husband being the head of the home because every ship must have a captain. By the way, this places an extra layer of responsibility on him to ensure the needs of the household are met. But then, I defer to my wife most of the time in areas where she has the expertise and competence. Leadership is about harnessing the strengths and experience of the team or board for the best interests of the organization. A good leader must listen, take in feedback, and look at all sides of the argument, before reaching a decision- By the way, if I don’t do this, at home, then no food for me!

It’s lonely at the top you need “co-founders”:??Leadership can be lonely. You need someone or some people who can challenge your thinking, who can speak freely and truthfully to you. We all have blind sides and we need people around us who want the best for us, but won’t leave us where we are- not “praise singers” and “yes men”, but people who challenge you and also bring a different perspective and commensurate knowledge and experiences. That’s what my wife has been over the years, and that’s what executives need- people who can challenge their thinking, are not afraid to disagree but are vested In their’ s and the firm’s success.

So, I?do have to hand her flowers for helping to refine my leadership style and philosophy over the years and being my greatest cheerleader and critic since I was a baking operations staff over 20 years ago. So, this goes out to her and also all spouses supporting and cheering on their spouses to succeed In the workplace.

Let me know who has had the greatest impact on your leadership style and how your spouse has helped in refining yours, if at all!

Watch out for my podcast on “Boardroom Lessons from the Bedroom” where I share more insights on how marriage should help us to be better individuals and leaders.

#anniversary #leadership #leadershipstyle #fieryred #earthgreen