Boarding School Trauma –Little Children Destined To Suffer In Isolation?
Dr Nitin Malekar
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#ChildHealth #MentalHealth #ChildAbuse #BoardingSchools #BoardingInstitutions #ParentalGuidance #Parenting #ChildEducation
Ms. Ruchika has horrible memories of her time at boarding school. When I visited her boarding school in Dehradun, she was seven. Her parents sent her away from home to this high-profile educational institution.
I was shocked to see little children following a rigorous regime ... it was virtually an enclosed environment, of course for safety purposes. But it was as good as a luxury jail. I could see sadness in her eyes & there were several such children, who belonged to affluent families.
In wealthy circles and the upper echelons of society, one elite tradition is to send children away to boarding school. It is considered a privileged path, paved with golden opportunities. Private boarding schools provide exceptional education and offer pupils elevated prospects of achieving a place at a top university. As per research, 90% of boarders proceed to the university of their choice.
The many benefits of a private education include unique learning opportunities, smaller class sizes, and great career prospects. However, evidence suggests that children who are sent to boarding school at a young age can suffer “irrevocable loss of primary attachments,” which, for many, constitutes a significant trauma.
Dr. Joy Schaverian, a psychoanalyst and the author of Boarding School Syndrome: The Psychological Trauma of the ‘Privileged’ Child, has brought attention to the concept of the lasting effects of boarding school attendance. In his book, Dr Schaverian delves into how children sent off to boarding school can experience psychological trauma. Let's explore the concept of boarding school syndrome and its impact on individuals later in life.
Understanding Boarding School Syndrome
Boarding school syndrome, as described by Dr. Schaverian, encompasses a range of symptoms and behaviors commonly seen in adults who attended boarding school during their childhood. When a child is sent away to boarding school, they are suddenly separated from their family and placed in an unfamiliar environment under the guise of privilege. The child may grapple with feelings of abandonment and loss, while also experiencing guilt for having these emotions.
The absence of emotional support from family members may compel the child to create a protective barrier to conceal their true emotions and vulnerabilities from others. This pattern can lead to the development of coping mechanisms that persist into adulthood, influencing their relationships and overall mental well-being.
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Impact of Boarding School Experiences
Dr. Schaverian, in her practice, observed a pattern of distorted symptoms and behaviors in adult clients who had attended boarding school. These individuals often faced challenges related to intimacy, trust, and emotional expression. They may struggle to establish deep connections with others, having learned to suppress their emotions.
Moreover, the pressure to conform to boarding school rules and expectations can result in feelings of inadequacy and a relentless pursuit of perfection. Consequently, individuals may struggle with low self-esteem and a fear of failure that lingers into adulthood.
Recovery from Boarding School Trauma
For those impacted by boarding school syndrome, seeking help and support for healing from childhood trauma is essential. Therapy, whether individual or group-based, can aid in exploring and processing emotions tied to the boarding school experience. By acknowledging and validating their feelings, individuals can begin to unravel the protective layers they have built and address the root causes of their struggles.
Additionally, fostering a strong support network of empathetic friends and loved ones can play a vital role in the healing process. Surrounding oneself with individuals who offer understanding and compassion allows for the unlearning of harmful behavioral patterns ingrained during boarding school.
In conclusion, boarding school syndrome represents a significant form of childhood trauma with enduring effects on individuals in adulthood. By recognizing symptoms and seeking assistance, individuals can embark on a journey towards healing past experiences and navigating life with enhanced self-awareness and resilience.
We all need to discover the enduring impact of boarding school trauma on individuals later in life and the significance of seeking help to heal from childhood experiences. Remember, addressing past trauma is a step towards a healthier and happier future. And avoiding trauma altogether is progressive thinking...