Boarding - from blood sport to team sport

I’m often asked what kind of experience a student will have if they sign up for boarding. It is a question with countless answers. Every experience will be different, they’ll get out what they put in, it’ll be the making of them, they’ll be thrown to the wolves; I’ve heard it all. My answer is usually ‘what do they want?’. I would preface this piece by saying boarding is not for everyone and that’s OK, but for those parents considering it, most of my time is usually spent myth busting.

You’ve been thinking about it, you like the idea in theory, it seems like a great opportunity - but you’ve heard the horror stories. There have always been excellent boarding schools with first class education and unrivalled care. Unfortunately, the newsworthy tales are those which lend themselves to the headlines of ‘Girl takes own life at top boarding school’, ‘Boarding Schools normalise Brutality’ Boarding School Atrocities spark calls for action’, and many, many more. In the industry we’ve likely all been subjected to questioning around these topics. The truth is; I know as much as you do.

Here’s what I do know - over the last two decades, some of the best, most caring, selfless? people I have ever met work in boarding. I have seen students thrive that would have withered in other environments and some will flourish instead of combust. Housemasters and mistresses are no longer simply teachers that live in a boarding house; they are specialist pastoral practitioners, trained in conflict management, mental health and wellbeing, qualified sleep practitioners, they are trained to identify eating disorders and the neurodivergent. They are on the front line of boarding schools.

Gone are the days of the stereotyped beatings from the Housemaster, the fight to be on the right side of the social hierarchy in the name of self preservation, where only the strong survive. The blood sport that was boarding school has seen its day.?

Modern boarding has carefully curated programmes of events, designed to compliment the daily curriculum, aimed at nurturing personal and life skills. There is no longer a one size fits all approach ; each student is recognised as an individual, their potential nurtured and celebrated. Staff take time to get to know each young person in their care and work closely with the academic teams to formulate an holistic profile from which they can determine where support is needed and how best to provide it, be that academic, personal, social, emotional or just a regular check in a few times a week. In short, they get whatever they need. An only child learns how to turn take and resolve conflict and how to live within a community. Those needing academic support have boarding tutors on hand to give extra support. Those students who can’t get enough football have a team always ready for a game under the same roof. The common theme I have always experienced in boarding is belonging. No matter the things that are different and set them apart, the boarders all have something in common, just by being boarders. It unites where circumstances may otherwise divide and makes the most unlikely of friends. Everyone is working toward that common goal of community, it’s now a team sport; the goal is to rise together and lift others up, not to clamber to the top and emerge the victor. Modern boarding is an incredible opportunity to safely push boundaries, to find out who you are, to have the confidence to take risks, knowing that even if you fall, there is a whole team of people right there who will always catch you. Who will advocate for you and celebrate you.?

It’s a privilege to do this job and to have worked with so many incredible people who have devoted their lives to pastoral care, often at great sacrifice. I won’t name names but I’m pretty sure they know who they are!