Blue Monday

A couple of years ago now, 3 years ago to be precise, right around this time of the year, I was working in a month-long internship at a recruiting company. I was trying to balance putting in long hours, commuting over three hours a day, getting minimal sleep, taking an online college course at night, and a relationship at the time that was on the rocks. Needless to say, on top of all of this, I was neglecting to properly attend to my mental and emotional health. During the third or fourth week of the above-mentioned routine, I was starting to REALLY feel the negative effects on my mental and emotional wellbeing. I was struggling in the office to keep a positive mindset. Ironically, one day while checking my phone on a bathroom break, I came across a post by one of my closest female friends that discussed “Being aware of Blue Monday.” Now at the time I was not familiar with the concept of “Blue Monday.” As I did a little research of my own and read a little more into my friends post however, I came to understand that Blue Monday is the “name given to a day in January which is claimed to be the most depressing day of the year.” There is some lengthy, elaborate calculation (which I have done zero research on) that goes into determining why this specific day is the MOST depressing of the year however, when I first read about Blue Monday three years ago, it brought me comfort to know that I was not alone in my struggles (as few of us ever are). As I began to ponder why Blue Monday falls on this specific day and time of the year however, it began to make a lot of sense to me. In today’s article, we are going to discuss why Blue Monday occurs during the latter half of January (generally falling on the third Monday of the month), how to become more aware of our emotional and mental health/wellbeing not only this time of the year but ALL times of the year, and discuss a few strategies that we can begin implementing TODAY in order to optimize our emotional wellbeing going forward.

Before we begin exploring how we can better maintain our emotional and mental well-being, I want to first take a deeper dive into why this particular time of the year is the most depressing as opposed to any other random day or month of the year. Blue Monday, aptly named ‘blue’ Monday as opposed to any other color in the rainbow because of the relation to ‘feeling blue’ or sad/down, generally falls around the third Monday in January. As many of us know, the third Monday in January is a time in the United States when the majority of our waking hours are spent in pretty much COMPLETE darkness due to a lack of sunlight. On top of that, and particularly for those of us in the Northeastern quadrant of the country, the weather often begins to dip below freezing diminishing the desire to go outside during the few hours of daylight we DO have. Now of course, this unpleasant weather and lack of sunlight does not magically begin once the calendar hits January 1st and the New Year begins however, by the third week of January, we no longer have the prospect of any fun, cheerful holidays to look forward to in the near future. The tasteful day of Thanksgiving has past, along with Christmas, and reigning in the New Year with family and friends. Now, during the third week of January, it is simply cold, dark, and we have returned to the jobs and lives that for many of us, are not necessarily what we once imagined that would be as young children, with no end, or at least slight break, in sight. Combine this with the lack of Vitamin D and the realization that our New Year’s resolutions are not panning out the way we envisioned them, and what we now know to be Blue Monday is born!

The two common emotions we need to understand before discussing blue Monday is the emotional state of depression and also that of anxiety. Depression and anxiety often work in malicious tandem with one another, standing as the two top leading mental health disorders in the states today, and although depression is most common during this particular time of year, much depression is born out of a persistent and nagging underlying anxiety. Anxiety is defined as a feeling of “unease, worry, or nervousness, typically related to an imminent event or something with an uncertain outcome” and if severe enough, can rob one of enjoying life’s daily beauties. What we much first understand about anxiety, however, is that it is a PRIMAL emotional and mental state. Anxiety has been around for centuries, protecting our hunter-gatherer ancestors from the threat of danger or imminent danger alerting them to either fight or flight in protection of their lives. The reason, I believe, that we are seeing such RECORD rates of anxiety in our society today, is because as a species we are not living lifestyles that are congruent and compatible with our biology. We are not MEANT to be cooped up inside office buildings all day, every day, staring at computer screens, with artificial lighting. We are MEANT, biologically, to be out and about in the world, roaming the wilderness and hunting for survival. With that said however, there are some simple strategies that we can implement on a daily basis to reduce and eliminate some of our daily pangs of anxiety, worry, and unease which we will discuss below soon.

Now of course, Blue Monday is called “blue” Monday for a reason. The main emotion causing me distress 3 years ago when I first heard of blue Monday was undoubtedly that of depression, or at least deep sadness, hopelessness, and a lack of energy – classic symptoms of depression. It is important that we delineate between “Clinical Depression” and temporary/less severe forms of depression. Those with Clinical Depression often will not be seen out and about in society; not always the case but often true. Clinical Depression is no joke; well, no type of depression is any joke however, those diagnosed with or experiencing signs of Clinical Depression should quickly seek medical attention and/or therapeutic intervention. Less severe forms of depression on the other hand, are likely emotional experiences we are all familiar with and have experienced at one point or another in our lives. These are the depressions and sad funks that we slip into after a breakup, the loss of a loved one, or…during that Blue Monday time of the year! Similar to Clinical Depression, these emotional states are STILL classified as ‘depression’ and should also not be thought of or approached lightly however, with the right treatment methods, proper intervention, and continued emotional/mental upkeep, in time these depressions will likely lift and we will return to our “normal” and oftentimes, “better” selves.

So now that we have a bit more insight into why Blue Monday occurs during this particular time of the year, the two most common negative emotional experiences present during Blue Monday (and the two leading mental health disorders today in the States), let’s open up a discussion regarding some of the ways that we can alleviate the symptoms and misery that come along with Blue Monday and continue to upkeep our emotional and mental health ALL year round.

1. Self-Realization - As the old saying goes: the first step to fixing a problem is recognizing that one exists. Of course, this is not always as easy as it sounds, and particularly so when we are discussing our mental and emotional health. It is not easy to know and identify when our mental/emotional suffering has gotten to a point where we need professional intervention. On that note, it is often even more difficult in today’s society and culture to admit to the fact that we are struggling mentally or emotionally. I can recall a time when a coworker of mine was brave enough to announce to our team that part of the reason his productivity had been declining was due to the fact that he struggled with anxiety and depression. It was a brave moment for him to announce such a personal matter in front of our whole team, managers alike, and afterwards, a fellow coworker and myself spoke with him individually to point him in the right direction for professional assistance. Nevertheless, we must first come to the self-realization and understanding that there is an problem with our mental/emotional wellbeing before we can begin to take the proper steps to heal from such distress.
2. Psychotherapy - Building off of that point, individual psychotherapy, or traditional talk therapy, is my personal favorite treatment method for mental and emotional distress, and for many of us, can often be a very effective and cathartic release for such mental and emotional wounds. To honestly sit down with a professional, for 45 to 60 minutes, and do nothing but talk about what is on your mind and what is ailing, is a difficult and uncomfortable but also quite often an extremely necessary process to achieving mental clarity and emotional wellness. I know for myself personally, the greatest gift therapy gave to me was the ability to become my own therapist. I am now acutely aware of both WHAT I need mentally and emotionally and also WHEN I need such things. When I need to be alone with a book, when I need to go for a run, and even when I need to occasionally grab a couple of drinks with friends.
3. Deep Breathing/Meditation - Another surprisingly beneficial technique I gained in psychotherapy was the use of deeply breathing and “mindfulness” as strategies to bring me back to the present moment and alleviate certain daily anxieties. There are psychological as well as physiological benefits which deep, belly breathing provide us as individuals. Often times today when I have friends come to me in distress, the first piece of advice I give them is “breathe…just breathhheeee.” Taking a few, big, deep breaths, brings us back to center, clears our mind, and allows us to approach whatever situation we are dealing with more clearly.
4. Medication…when necessary - Personally, I am not the biggest fan of psychiatric medications. Having said that, there is certainly a time and place for their use. Medication-based intervention is NOT a one time, fix-all however, when used in conjunction with psychotherapy and other healthy personal interventions, medications can be an effective form of mental, emotional, and psychological intervention; particularly for more clinically severe mental and emotional conditions. With that being said, the innovations today in technology and medical research/knowledge is only leading to greater advances in the precision of the medication being prescribed today. We are now able to look at one’s family history, biochemistry, and past responses to medications, in order to determine which specific medications have the likeliest chances of being most effective and least harmful for certain ailments. Pretty fascinating stuff. Still, I maintain the belief that psychiatric medications should only be utilized and prescribed as last resorts of treatment only for those who are severely ailing and struggling. The negative effects that the prescription of the WRONG medical interventions can have on one’s health can often be quite deadly.
5. Creativity - Putting pen to paper and other creative methods can, somewhat mysteriously, be very mentally and emotionally calming/healing for many. In my own personal experience, journaling has been a helpful method to relieving certain anxieties. There is empirically supported research that shows the calming effects which expressing one’s thoughts through creative methods can have. I can also personally attest to the fact that creating something from scratch where there was nothing before is a deeply, deeply fulfilling feeling. During my brief time spent working at the infamous McLean Hospital in Belmont, MA, I recall the walls of the milieu being occupied with stories of famous and successful individuals whom had either been through the McLean for treatment or who themselves suffered from mental/emotional health disorders. Many of the world’s most successful, beloved, and creative artists began their creative pursuits at young ages often as escapes from troubled home lives. Whether it be writing novels, making movies/films, creating music, or any other form of creativity, there are several mysteriously healing creative pursuits available to any of us willing to tap into our creative sides.
6. REM Sleep - Deep and restorative REM sleep should not be underestimated when it comes to our emotional and mental well-being. Deep and restorative REM sleep has been shown to rewire old, hurtful, and traumatic memories while also playing a vital role in forming and imbedding new memories. As a former professor of mine always says, ‘you can go days without eating; if you go days without sleep you will start to go a little crazy.’ It is so vitally important that to the best of our ability we strive to get the recommended 7-9 hours of sleep/night. Personally, I know that when I get under 6 hours of sleep, my next day is almost always a mess. I am just…off. Tired, cognitively depleted, and grumpy. It is terrible. Every single night now, I try to the best of my ability to ensure that I am getting the adequate amount of sleep I need in order to be at peak performance the next day. It truly is a game changer.
7. Bio-Psycho-Social - There is an interesting new method and approach to mental and overall health today which I want to discuss here which is known as the “biopsychosocial” model. When I first learned about this approach to mental wellbeing, I was intrigued by it. The Biopsychosocial Model basically breaks down our mental health into three main areas:

Biological – What does your family history look like? Is there a history of mental or emotional health issues in your genealogy that may be affecting you? Are you biologically/genetically predisposed to certain (mental) health conditions? Additionally, how are you contributing to or hindering your biological health today? Do you exercise often? Drink enough healthy fluids? Eat a proper diet? Or are you, intentionally or unintentionally, chemically/biologically hindering your mental/emotional health?

Psychological – What are your thoughts and behaviors? Are they positive, healthy tendencies that lend you to a prosperous daily lifestyle? Or do you have destructive, self-defeating, and unhealthy negative thoughts, behaviors, and daily routines? Additionally, what is going on in your life that may be affecting your psyche? Do you enjoy your job, relationships, and life from a macro perspective or are you not where you want to be at this point in your life/career? What are you working towards? Do you have goals or a dream that is psychologically invigorating and keeping you moving forward? Or are you wandering, directionless, and unsure of where you are headed with no particular aim/vision?

Social – The last aspect of the biopsychosocial model should not be understated. In fact, I have an entire program that is dedicated to discussing the importance of not only having healthy social networks but also the detriments that NEGATIVE social networks have on our overall health. Are you contented with your friendships, relationships, and intimate life? Are the people you surround yourself with challenging you to grow and level up as an individual or have you surrounded yourself with people who feel more like a chore to hang out with? Do you have intimate relationships and friendships? Are you involved in your community? How do you enjoy your coworkers and colleagues you work with? Are you a part of different groups involving people who align with your interest? Or do you spend a lot of free time alone, with no one quality or trusting to spend time with or connect with?

The biopsychosocial model is an awesome and fairly easy way to assess one’s mental, emotional, and overall wellbeing and health. Personally, I utilize this framework quite often in my daily life to assess my own mental and overall health and then adjust accordingly.

Now of course, there are several other treatment methods available to alleviate some of the negative emotional experiences that run rampant during Blue Monday however, in the interest of both time and my readers’ attention spans, we will stick with these seven primary healing methods. We will move along now to take a look at some basic strategies that we can begin implementing into our daily lives in order to ensure ultimate emotional wellbeing not ONLY during Blue Monday and this time of the calendar year, but truly all year round.

Although we may not view it as such, emotional health is not unlike our physical health in that it must be upkept every single day. We do not go to the gym ONCE and expect to get jacked or in the type of shape we need to get in. We need to go to the gym practically every day IN ADDITION to eating well, drinking proper fluids, and getting proper rest in order to achieve physical well-being. The same principle holds true for our emotional well-being. We don’t go to therapy ONE time or try a deep breathing exercise one day and suddenly expect all of our mental and emotional woes to magically wash away and subside. Instead, we need to utilize one if not more, of the following daily emotional well-being tools in order to maximize both our emotional and mental well-being.

1. Physical Exercise - Going off of the above analogy, physical exercise is just as much a part of our emotional and mental wellbeing as anything else. I love when I get myself into the healthy routine of running, going to the gym, or stretching every single day. For those of us with busy lives, this does not have to be the crazy 2-3-hour gym sessions. 30 minutes on the treadmill is better than nothing. I also love that in the gym, I can often EARN my emotional and mental states. By that what I mean, is that often the harder I work at the gym, the better I will feel afterwards both mentally and emotionally.
2. Good nutrition/diet - A good diet and nutritional plan is also often a great basis for our emotional health. Although eating well/healthily will certainly not solve all of our emotional woes, a poor diet is sure to exacerbate certain negative conditions.
3. Meditation/deep breathing - Once again, a daily meditation practice can be a great way to re-center our minds, body’s, and souls after a long day or week. There are physiological, psychological, and biological benefits that meditation brings along with it. On a lesser note, simply taking a few seconds when we find ourselves to be stressed or anxious to take some deep, long, belly breaths, is a quick and easy way to calm us down.
4. Healthy social networks - Again, healthy social networks are SO crucial. Actually, you know what, I lied. Healthy social networks are important, but you know what is more important? Not having an UNHEALTHY social network. In the words of the late, great Robin Williams: “I used to think the worst thing in life was to end up all alone; it’s not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people that make you feel all alone.” I have always said to friends, colleagues, and loved ones that I would way rather never get married, then get married to the wrong person. In my opinion, there are few worse feelings then being in a relationship, social circle, or situation in which you feel trapped and want to do nothing more than run away. To this day, I unshamefully and unapologetically will cut people out of my lives and social networks who are not adding value to my day, life, and overall goals/vision. From my perspective, there is just absolutely no time for those types of people in this life. Life is too short.
5. Love is self-love - All of this social auditing can likely be tracked back to a creed which I try to live by which is “Love is self-love.” When we do not love ourselves; when we do not know who we truly are, what we enjoy, and believe in as individuals, we turn externally. We turn externally for love, validation, confirmation, and acceptance to fill the void that exists internally. A wise psychologist once said to me “two half people don’t make a whole person…two WHOLE people make a whole person.” I love that line because it is so true. How many people do you see or know who can’t NOT be in a relationship? Couples that get together in some ugly, codependent struggle because the fear of being alone is just way too daunting for both of them. Gross man. I run a whole program that talks about taking the proper time to figure out who you truly are as an individual. Not who your parents or friends are or want you to be, but rather who you are, what you like, and what you believe in. Take the painful, uncomfortable, and long, yet necessary time to go through that process and watch how your life begins to transform.
6. Dream big and pursue your dreams at all costs - The last emotional tool I want to put into our toolkit is that of dreams. Professional and personal dreams keep us alive and pushing forward in life. They give us something to strive, work towards, and look forward to in life. Whether it is a dream job/career, a dream girl, or a dream family, dare to dream in this life and when you do dream, man dream freaking big. Pursuing something we are passionate about, as I have witnessed with this professional speaking journey, is both mentally and emotionally invigorating and rewarding. Do not let others who have not followed or pursued their dreams hold you back from pursuing or following yours. We all live one life, and no one is going to live that lives for us. So, we might as well shoot big.

This is a difficult time of the year. It really is. The holidays are a thing of the past, the new year has begun, days are getting shorter and shorter, as the weather gets colder and darker by the day. Sometimes it can feel like things are never going to end but externally AND internally. It can be tough to keep a positive mindset and remain emotionally stable. With that being said, now more then ever we must focus in on and attend to our emotional and mental well-being. If you are struggling to stay afloat and feel yourself slipping, seek professional help. Call a friend or loved one. Make it a promise to yourself to get back to the gym on a daily basis. Our mental and emotional health is just as important as ANY other aspect of our health and wellbeing. So let’s let Blue Monday make us realize that and begin attending to and optimizing our emotional wellbeing not only for the month of January, but all year round.