Blue Monday, Control & The Best Way to Avoid Distraction

Hello my friend,

Last week was a bit of a rough week.

Sometimes we face a situation that is completely out of our control.

Yet we want with every iota to gain control over the situation.

This is a sure path to stress, frustration and misery.

It made me think of one particular stoic principle.

“Control the controlables”.

To stop stressing over what’s outside our power.

Easier said than done, of course.

But when we can become clear on what we can control and what we cannot life becomes that much easier.

All is not as it seems.

Last week I shared a photo on Linkedin of me travelling in Santa Monica in the USA, eight years ago.

Popping up on my memories it took me straight back to that moment of my life.

I had a lot of fun and overall that year was externally one of the best of my life. Yet internally it was one of the hardest.

It's funny how from the outside it can be impossible to tell.

People who are having success or achieving in life in one way or another. Those often having a good laugh or presenting a wide smile on their face.

It's easy to presume everything is rosy.

Yet behind closed doors it can be a whole different story.

This past monday was what is known as 'Blue Monday'. Supposingly the most depressing day of the year.

On this monday morning it reminded me of those tougher moments in my life.

The days no-one would have ever known there was a problem, except me.

The times where I didn't voice anything and kept it all inside.

The moments where I felt I would look weak if I opened up and was vulnerable.

That same year eight years ago went on to be one of the most transformative for me.

I remember wanting to keep feeling sorry for myself. It seemed the best way. Perhaps the only way at the time. But I came to realise that was a means to an end.

The problem was that I was focusing on everything that was missing and what was wrong.

And in turn ignoring everything I already had and that was right.

I spent much of that period in a daze. Worried, afraid, anxious.

Concerning myself on everything that wasn’t right. On everything that I didn't have. On everything that I wanted to have. This was the source of what was getting me down.

The shift I made was changing my focus.

It changed everything for me.

"True happiness comes not from adding more, but from wanting less."

That’s what I did.

I started wanting less and I started appreciating more.

The difference in my outlook was remarkable.

Choose carefully where you put your focus.

Things I’m learning

How to win.

“The prize doesn't go to the fastest, it goes to the one who slows down the least”. - Rich Roll

One thing at a time.

“In the age of distraction, single-tasking is a superpower.” – Greg McKeown

Accepting what will be.

“Don’t seek for everything to happen as you wish it would, but rather wish that everything happens as it actually will - then your life will flow well.” - Epictetus

Question

How much of your stress comes from things outside of your control?

How could you be 50% less attached and 50% less reactive to them?

That’s all for this week.

Thank you for reading and see you next time!

With Love. Nick x

p.s. let it be