Blue Moments

In the years following his historic walk on the moon, Neil Armstrong struggled with a deep and persistent melancholy. As the first man to set foot on another celestial body, his feat was the stuff of dreams, representing the very pinnacle of human achievement. And yet, when he returned to Earth, he soon found himself adrift. Lost. As he famously remarked: “After you’ve seen the earth from the vantage point of the moon, what else is there?”

While most of us will never get to the moon, we often pin our hopes on a dizzying array of other longed-for destinations. These might include things like: marriage, children, retirement, a new kitchen, after the IPO, when the novel comes out. It’s not that these aren’t worthy goals, it’s just that on their own, they rarely deliver on what we imagine they will do for us. Life, it seems, is just a process of replacing one desire with another.??

I often see this in my coaching work with executives, some of whom have sold their companies for life-changing sums of money, only to find at the pinnacle of their achievement a peculiar kind of emptiness. Take Vinay, the former CTO of Loom, who recently sold his company for nearly a billion dollars. “I am rich,” he wrote, “and have no idea what to do with my life.” Similarly, the young founder of MVMT watches, who exited at 31, admitted to feeling lost, struggling to find purpose now that the race was over. Their stories are not anomalies, but part of a larger, often vexing aspect of human nature: that to be alive is to always want for more.

Perhaps there is no greater embedded desire than the wish for financial freedom. Then we will be finally secure, able to relax, redo the kitchen. And there is no question that material success does ease certain worries. Financial security affords us more time, more options. But beyond a certain threshold, it doesn’t add extra meaning or value. In fact, the opposite may be true. More money needs more minding – and whom can you trust? For some, the fear of losing money is often greater than the satisfaction of having it.?

What to do then with all our anxious striving when we find out there really is no “there,” there.

Accept that this feeling is normal

If you feel this way, know that you’re certainly not alone in this. The pursuit of any goal can give us a sense of purpose and identity while we’re in it. And it’s also true that reaching that goal – whether it’s raising children to independence, building a business, or realizing any lifelong ambition – can sometimes feel like a bit of a letdown.?

As humans, it seems that we are hardwired for the chase, the climb, for the effort it takes to build something meaningful. This is why parents can sometimes miss the hardest, early years of parenting, and feel a strange void when it ends. The late nights, the sacrifices, the doubts, the small victories along the way – these are what bring us the most satisfaction. Understanding this allows us to embrace each new challenge as it arrives, knowing that the work itself is where we truly come alive. Because it is in the struggle that we find the most meaning.

Can you notice the little blue moments?

We tend to measure life by its many built-in milestones – the promotions, the big birthdays – but real joy often resides in the smaller spaces in between. The quiet, everyday magic that happens when we aren’t necessarily looking for it: the first sip of coffee in the morning, a shared laugh with a stranger, the purple hue of the sky just before sunset. A non-toothache. A light summer breeze. These moments, though small, are everywhere if we look for them.?

In his beautiful book, Letters to My Son, author Kent Nerburn describes this heightened awareness as a “blue moment” – basically a fleeting moment of awareness in which we notice things, maybe for the first time. “They come on like torrents of grace, unexpected, unannounced, suffusing life with a warmth and truth that will forever live in memory.” These moments aren’t loud or grand, but they are often what give life its richness. They remind us that meaning isn’t always found in big achievements or sweeping changes, but in the simple, beautiful details of everyday life. All we have to do is slow down and notice them.?

Expand your definition of success

When we tie our happiness and self-worth to any singular outcome, we put ourselves in a very vulnerable position. If it happens, we feel elated. But if it doesn’t, the emotional letdown can be devastating. This is why it’s important that we “diversify” our emotional investment in any one area.?

If success was once about external validation—status, money and power—maybe it’s time to redefine it. What if success is not landing on the moon, but waking up excited in the morning? Or having time to be present with the people who matter most to us? What if it’s about crafting a life, not just a resume? What if it’s about giving, and not just getting??

In the end, perhaps the answer is found not in what comes next, but in what’s now. Maybe true wealth is not about what you have but about how little you actually need. Maybe it’s the journey itself—with all of its surprise and detours, and little blue moments—that is the real prize, and not the destination.?