Blog Series: The Bonds We Make

#1 #TheBondsWeMake #AtWork #Teams

Have you ever had a week where you have spent the entire time talking, hopping from one meeting to the next, problem solving like a ninja without having a second to process your thoughts or do an emotional check-in? Ever found yourself enter into conflicts with people you have worked closely for years, but suddenly you are snapping at them, only to realize your mistake the moment you sent out that ill-worded email or hurtful text? As this week winds down, a question that has lingered on my mind after the many conversations I have had and been part of , is this – “Are we aware of the impact we have on each other?” 

In a world that has been thrown into a disconnected chasm of video conference calls, loss of human connection and an invisible health threat looming outside (or inside) our homes – it is human to get tunnel vision. Our primal survival instinct is a formidable psychological conditioning even during the most favorable circumstances, let alone during the period of uncertainty that we are going through as a global community today. But what has given me hope personally has been – the stories of resilience, communities coming together to stand for justice and local groups working tirelessly to take care of those who are facing greater odds than us. These stories teach us that we can stand by each other , no matter the distance or differences between us – by giving each other the gift of the benefit of doubt. 

As humans, we are born with an innate desire for social connection. We naturally seek the companionship of others in our quest for well-being. Our brains have evolved mirror neurons that allow us to match each other’s emotions and vocal patterns without conscious thought. For centuries, we have lived, learned, and worked in tribes and communities that support and challenge us. Today, those tribes and communities may look and operate differently, but their base purposes remain the same: connection, belonging, support, advocacy, learning, and striving towards a common goal.

Conflict in our line(s) of work is natural, healthy even because it allows us to have authentic , unguarded and refreshingly direct conversations; but when do you know if you are crossing a line? Or if you are not allowing the other person feeling empowered enough to have an equal conversation? 

• The answer usually lies in the silence after the conversation has ended or the line has been cut. If this was a family member or a close friend or someone you cared about deeply, would you have used the same tone of voice? Same language?
• And if you have had such a conversation with someone who is important to you at work, a trusted colleague , a friend who has now become distant, someone who you will have to work with often , etc. – Pick up the phone, Switch on the camera, Start with listening, Keep it simple, direct and centered around the PRESENT.
• Trust, Connection, Belonging, et al …. These BIG fuzzy things are all centered around the small stuff – Do you SEE me? Do you HEAR me? Do you CARE enough to ACKNOWLEDGE my humanity – which includes not just my TRIUMPHS , but also my fallibility.

So, who do YOU need to call today ? ??